


in the garden we linger

by CrystalFlowers



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Arranged Marriage, Erotica, Eventual Smut, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Original Character(s), Romance, Rough Sex, Science Fiction & Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:07:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28653243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalFlowers/pseuds/CrystalFlowers
Summary: In order to form a political alliance between the two separate provinces of his dynasty, Miko leaves behind his family, his clan, and his entire way of life. Within an hour of arriving in the foreign region of Southern Crethia, Miko is married to a reserved, stoic, intimidating man named Noxx—a man he doesn’t know at all.Kept at a distance by his new husband, Miko struggles to grow accustomed to Southern Crethia’s customs and traditions and finds himself desperately lonely. Gradually, Miko drags Noxx away from his political responsibilities and the two grow closer than either of them ever expected. But Noxx is still holding onto past guilts, and even worse, an upheaval is underway right under his nose. A rival clan is plotting to overthrow their own, and Miko is the first target within their sights.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 18
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Did I write this feverishly over two weeks of winter break? Yes. Did I post it largely without editing it? Also yes. 
> 
> This is my shot at writing more plot-heavy erotica in a fantasy environment. All this shit is made up so if it seems like it resembles an existing piece of media, that's completely by accident. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Leave a comment if you get the chance, or come talk to me on crystalflowers.tumblr.com, I'd love to hear from you <3

“We’re approaching the Southern Gates,” a voice said from outside the carriage. “We should be reaching Klodin within the hour.”

Miko jerked upright. He blinked rapidly, disoriented, his hair a mess around his head and his back aching viciously. He smoothed his hair down and tried to stretch his back out, and groaned when it only seemed to make the pain worse. He’d been sitting in the back of this carriage for the past ten hours. His entire body was beginning to betray him.

Miko rubbed his eyes and squinted, bleary, out the windows to look at the scenery. As his eyes adjusted to the bright light, lines of smooth, tan rock came into focus. The sun was glaring down upon them, and the ground seemed to grow beneath it, like lava. Having grown up in Northern Crethia, where it was cold and snowy most of the year, Miko had never experienced weather like this before. He wasn’t even outdoors, really, and he was already sweating.

The cliff faces broke away, leaving gentle stretches and waves of rock and sand. Sticking his head out the window and straining his neck, Miko could just make out the Southern Gates that marked the Southern Crethia border. Miko had never seen this part of the Crethia dynasty before. Truthfully, he’d seen almost none of Crethia at all.

“Do you have everything?” his mother had asked when he’d been preparing to leave, the day before. “Your extra coat, too, just in case?”

“I have everything, mama,” Miko had told her, squeezing her hands in a way he’d hoped was reassuring. “Southern Crethia is mostly desert, remember? I won’t need warm clothing. Don’t worry so much, I’ll be just fine.”

Miko’s mother wasn’t particularly comforted, and neither was the rest of Miko’s family. The entire village had gathered to see him off—a hundred people, give or take—and they’d gazed at him with only worry and pain. Miko felt each of those gazes, still, in the pit of his stomach like needles. He’d almost been glad to climb into the carriage, just to get away from those expressions.

The carriage paused just inside the gates to give credentials to the guards, and then they passed through the small town built just inside. The buildings seemed as though they’d been carved right out of the rock, and they glowed like the rest of the desert, bright and blinding. In front of these buildings was small market, rows of shop stands and traders selling gold and fresh fruit and colorful textiles.

The clothes they wore here were strange, and Miko balked at the amount of skin on display. Neri like him only tended to undress when swimming; otherwise, they wore thick furs and leather fabrics. The clothing here was sheer and made of bright colors and patterns, and the fabric was draped to cover specific parts of the body. Some wore simple sandals, but many went bare-footed. Miko winced at the thought of the hot, sun-baked ground against the soles of his feet.

“Will I have to wear clothes like you?” Miko called to one of the two guards driving the carriage.

“You will be provided everything you need when we reach Klodin,” one of the guards said. That was more or less all the information they’d offered Miko for the past day. Miko pursed his lips and slumped in his seat, frustrated.

Klodin came into view an hour later, the city stretching out in front of the carriage like a mouth ready to swallow them down. It was the biggest city Miko had ever seen, warm and dusty buildings climbing a shallow hill in neat lines. At the top of these stood what looked like a stone palace, walls of sharp lines glittering in the afternoon light. It was shockingly intimidating and elegantly structured.

Dozens of figures—all of them Shatya, Miko assumed—stared as the carriage passed through, as though trying to catch a glimpse of who was inside. Miko slumped further down in his seat to stay hidden, peeking over the rim of the window.

The climb towards the palace at the center of the city felt long. When they finally stopped at the entrance and Miko was allowed to climb out, his legs almost went out from underneath him and one of the guards had to reach over and grab his arm to keep him from collapsing. The heat felt even more stifling once Miko was outside and he glared up at the sky, shielding his eyes from the sun with one hand.

He’d barely taken one step towards the entrance to the palace when a figure came bolting outside towards him. A young woman ran down the walkway, ignoring the guards who tried to stop her, and darted directly towards Miko. She was around his height, her hair long and curled and dark. Her skin was dark brown and her arms were covered in intricate floral tattoos, and she wore simple flowing clothing, draped over her upper body and leaving her midriff bare.

“Miko!” she said, beaming, as she came to a stop. “Are you Miko? You must be! I’ve never met a Neri before, but you look exactly how I thought you would.”

Miko smiled at her “Yes,” he said. “I am. I can’t say the same—you Shayta look very different than I expected.” He tilted his head curiously at her. “You aren’t Noxx, are you?”

The woman giggled. “No,” she said. “Noxx is my brother, you’ll meet him this evening at the ceremony. I begged to be the one to greet you.” She pressed her hand to her heart and gave a small bow, a polite Shayta gesture of greeting. “My name is Adra.”

Miko made to perform the same gesture, and Adra giggled at him again. “Males don’t typically greet one another that way here,” she said.

“They don’t?” Miko said, confused.

“They greet each other like this.” Adra closed her fist and crossed her arm over her chest, doing the same bow as before. “Don’t worry. I know you’re new to the southern region, so I’ll show you what to do.” She linked her arm with his and tugged him towards the palace. “Come with me. Let’s get you ready to meet Noxx.”

* * *

Miko hadn’t ever expected to be in this situation. He’d never even expected to leave the village he’d grown up in, really.

Neri tended to live in small, close-knit communities. His kind had adapted to withstand the cold, so they were well-equipped to dive for fish in icy water and hunt in snowy forests for hours without succumbing to frostbite or hypothermia. Miko had spent his childhood with his siblings, learning to hunt and cook and fish. Since he was the oldest, he’d also spent a lot of time taking care of the younger children.

When he’d first heard about Noxx coming of age, Miko hadn’t thought much of it. Noxx was the son of the most powerful Shayta clan leader in Southern Crethia, and he was set to take over for his father within a few years. Before that happened, the clan wanted Noxx to be married, preferably to someone from Northern Crethia to link the two regions.

Miko’s clan was small—most Neri clans were small—but they were one of the most prominent, which was likely why they’d been approached by the Umbra Clan. Miko was the only unmarried Neri of age. There hadn’t been anyone else to take on the responsibility.

Miko had considered refusing the offer, but Shayta were powerful, and the Umbra Clan in particular was terrifying. Shayta had abilities that Miko didn’t fully understand, abilities that allowed them to tap into the very earth and move the spirits. Most other Shayta clans, let alone Neri clans, wouldn’t dare oppose them.

“It will help our clan if I agree,” Miko said to his mother, who was vehemently against the idea. “We’ve been barely scraping by for so many years. Maybe if I unite our clans, it will provide Northern Crethia with prosperity. Not just our clan, but other Neri clans, too.”

His mother had refused to accept Miko’s decision, up until the very moment he’d left home. Miko understood; he’d never been away from home like this, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to go back in a long time. Years, maybe, even.

“It must have been so hard, leaving your family like that,” Adra said now. She handed Miko a pile of fabric. “I would hate that. And you’re so far from home, too.”

Miko nodded. He took the fabric and pressed it against his chest, but he didn’t answer. If he spoke, he worried he’d start to cry. He hadn’t given himself time to really think about the consequences of his decision or about the family he’d left behind. Soon, he promised himself, he’d grieve. But not now.

Adra had spent the afternoon showing Miko around the palace—Miko’s new home, he supposed—and he was in his new bedroom now to dress for this evening’s ceremony. The palace was less intimidating on the inside, full of sunlit terraces and courtyards, gorgeous and well-kept statues, pools of sparkling water, hallways lined with stone pillars. The most unsettling thing hadn’t been the architecture, but rather the staff, who had stared openly at Miko as he’d passed them by.

“You’d think they’d never seen a Neri before,” Miko said as he unraveled the pile of fabric Adra had handed to him. It pooled on the floor off his hands and he frowned at it, not even sure how to start putting it on. “We’re not that different from you Shayta, are we?”

“Hmm…” Adra considered him, her fingertips pressed to her chin. “Well, you’re much more pale than we are. And smaller—more delicate, almost. Are males and females all that delicate?”

“We don’t define sex the way you do,” Miko said. He rolled the fabric back up over his arm, tucking it back against his chest. “There are many different sexes, many genders. But I suppose we are all this size, more or less.”

Adra nodded at him, as though absorbing this new information. “And you can swim better than we can,” she continued. “Right? Someone once told me Neri can hold their breath underwater for over an hour.”

Miko laughed lightly. “That’s an exaggeration,” he said. “Fifteen minutes is all I can do. Some Neri have practiced and can almost make it to half an hour. It takes quite a bit of training to get to that point.” He tightened his fingers around his new clothing and hesitated, wondering if this next question would be offensive. “Are all Shayta…are you all capable of using your abilities?”

Adra gave a small, sad smile. “I’m not sure,” she said. “Females are not allowed to harness our abilities. Sometimes they escape from us in small ways, when we are taken by a strong emotion. But males are typically the only ones who are trained.” She folded her arms, her brow furrowing. “From what my brother has told me, the training can be difficult and rigorous. Our powers can overwhelm us if we’re not careful.”

Miko relaxed a little at that. When he’d entered the southern region he’d expected to be surrounded by hundreds of thousands of powerful sorcerers, prepared to put him under a spell if he looked at someone wrong. “Neri can do a little magic,” he said, smiling now. “Just a little. We can weave spells through our singing.”

“Ooh!” Adra beamed at him, lighting up immediately. “Really?”

“Yes. We can perform healing magic, or call upon the skies for rain, or clear skies. My mother, she would always sing me the same song when I was a child, whenever I was upset or unable to sleep, and it felt as though her singing healed me from the inside.”

“You’ll have to show me sometime.” Adra pushed him towards the screen at the far side of his bedroom. “Now, go change. I want to see you in your new clothes.”

Someone had prepared a bath for him as well. Miko shed his travel-worn clothes and sank gratefully into the water, stretching out his sore muscles. His hair, silver-white, had grown long over the years and was tangled from his nap in the back of the carriage. He dragged his fingers through it, smoothing it.

The clothes proved a little complicated. First was a pair of draped white pants that he’d originally assumed was a skirt. Then the top was flowy and gold and red and draped along his chest to leave his stomach exposed, something that made him feel very vulnerable. When he finally thought he had it correct, he emerged from the screen and Adra came to greet him, looking him over critically.

She adjusted the clothes a little so they draped correctly. “Not bad,” she decided. “It suits you.” She danced over to the dresser, light on her feet, and grabbed a collection of silver and gold, carrying them over to Miko. “Hold out your hands,” she commanded.

She slipped several bracelets onto both of his arms. The jewelry on his right arm was made of tiny, delicate silver leaves strung together, and on the left were simple gold bands. Miko shook his arms experimentally and smiled at the pleasant way they tinkled.

“Final touch,” Adra said, handing Miko a pair of dangly earrings. Miko removed his usual earrings, a pair of small, basic hoops that his mother had given them, and placed them carefully on his bed. He replaced the earrings with the gold ones Adra had given him, and shook his head back and forth afterwards, testing the weight. The earrings dripped towards his shoulders in a beautifully dramatic way. They caught the light whenever he moved his head.

“You look so good,” Adra said. She was bouncing on her toes, as though preparing to leap into motion at any moment. Miko had a sister like her, with her endless energy and constant movement.

“Are you a dancer?” he asked her, tugging anxiously at the top of his outfit. “My sister loves to dance. You remind me of her.”

Adra nodded eagerly. “I’ve been dancing since I was little,” she said. She leapt over to the other side of the room one more time and picked up a pair of sandals off the ground, pressing them into Miko’s hands. “Put these on. My mother and father are downstairs with Noxx. The ceremony will start as soon as we’re ready.

Miko’s head swam with how quickly all of this was happening. He followed Adra downstairs in a daze and blinked, disoriented, when they stepped into the central courtyard. The evening light was glowing, hot and red, off in the horizon, and in front of it stood three unfamiliar figures.

They were all dressed in similar clothing to what Miko was wearing, gold and red tunics and glittering jewelry and simple sandals. Their brown skin was decorated in intricate, beautiful tattoos that crawled up their arms and across their shoulders. Two of them were clearly much older than him, one broad-chested and intimidatingly tall, his eyes nearly black and his chin covered in a thick black beard. Next to him was a slender woman a little shorter than him, her hair long and curled and the same color as Adra’s. Her hands were elegant and her nails were painted red to match her clothing.

On her other side was a younger man. He looked much like his father, muscular and tall, his hair black and his eyes dark and intense. His gaze was sharp and austere and he held himself with easy confidence, but there was a tightness in his shoulders, like he was preparing himself to leap into battle at any moment.

Miko knew who this younger man was. This was Noxx, the person who would, within a few hours, become Miko’s new husband.

“Miko,” the tallest man, the Umbra Clan leader, rumbled, spreading his arms in greeting. “Welcome to Southern Crethia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I made an inspiration board for Southern Crethia if you want to know more about what I was imagining while writing this. You can find it on my tumblr (crystalflowers.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who checked out chapter one! Drop a comment if you get the chance, I'm always curious what people think and I'm always looking for feedback (especially if the worldbuilding or the terms I'm using are unclear/confusing!)  
> If you want to chat, you can find me on tumblr at crystalflowers.tumblr.com <3

The joining ceremony would take place inside the palace, in what Adra referred to as the great hall. It was an enormous, embellished space lined with stately white pillars and tiled with white stone flooring. A long red rug led to the far end of the hall, where a golden arch and two glimmering candelabras stood, tall and stately. Flowers and rich drapes hung from the walls in between the pillars. The hall glowed in warm light and dripped with obvious wealth. 

Miko followed Noxx and his family into the great hall. Now that they were so close to the actual ceremony, Miko’s hands were trembling. It didn’t help that there were several dozen other Shayta here, standing at the sidelines to watch the ceremony. Miko felt as though their eyes were boring into him, burning him. 

He and Noxx had barely traded six words with one another this evening. Noxx’s father, Kozu, had done most of the talking during the initial meeting. He’d explained the ceremony and asked if Miko was certain he was willing to go through with it. He’d probably only asked in order to give Miko the illusion of choice, but Miko knew that if he refused now, after coming all the way from Northern Crethia, there would be severe consequences. Miko had only spent a few hours here, and he could already feel the Umbra Clan’s power and influence. The last thing he wanted was that power coming down upon Miko’s family and clan. 

Noxx took his place beneath the golden arch. He wasn’t looking at Miko at all, instead watching the priestess who was preparing the ceremony. Miko joined him beneath the arch, his hands trembling badly now. He desperately wanted to know what Noxx thought of him, but he didn’t dare ask. Maybe he wasn’t what Noxx had expected. Maybe Noxx hated all Neri, and didn’t want to go through with this ceremony at all. 

Noxx’s face betrayed no emotion. It was incredibly unsettling. 

The ceremony began with song. The priestess led the gathered Shayta in several hymns and Miko mumbled along, pretending he knew the words. He wasn’t familiar with Shayta hymns. They were much more intense than the songs Neri sang with one another, words of power and influence and control. 

When the singing ended, Noxx was holding out his hand towards Miko, eyebrows raised expectantly. Miko stared stupidly for several seconds, and then shook himself off and reached out to rest his hand in Noxx’s. His hands were still shaking, but if Noxx could feel it he made no such indication. His fingers were warm as they closed around Miko’s. For some reason Miko hadn’t been expecting that. 

The priestess performed several rituals around their joined hands, blessing their union, pouring water over their fingers to cleanse them. She led the gathered Shayta in another song to accept the two of them into the arms of their society. 

“I declare these two joined,” the priestess said after the song was over, and Miko stared, shocked. “Let their union be blessed by the gods and be sung across the hills of Crethia.” 

The Shayta clapped and cheered. Noxx’s fingers had gone limp around Miko’s, so Miko pulled his hand free, embarrassed. He stared at his feet, rather than look at all the eyes watching him. 

Noxx’s hand closed around his elbow as the applause died down. “Come,” he said. His voice was as low as his father’s, though quieter. “We are to be received in the central courtyard.” 

Miko nodded vaguely. He allowed himself to be guided into the courtyard, where an enormous table of food had been prepared to greet them. The food all looked delicious—platters of fresh fruit, an entire roast with crispy, browned skin, chocolate pastries, slices of fluffy white bread—but Miko couldn’t find his appetite. 

Noxx released Miko’s elbow. He greeted the various Shayta that approached them to offer congratulations, and Miko mustered a smile to do the same. The Shayta seemed fascinated by him, which Miko supposed was a positive thing. They fawned over the way his ears were pointed and the pale white of his skin and the smallness of his stature. Miko had never considered himself particularly small—he was the tallest in his family and above average for a Neri—but compared to Shayta, who were typically a head taller than him and twice as muscular, he did feel quite small. 

“It was a beautiful ceremony,” Kozu, Noxx’s father, said later, approaching the two of them. His wife, Almira, was at his side, Adra at his other. They were smiling, but the smiles didn’t quite cut through the intimidating energy they gave off. “Miko, you are part of our family now. I welcome you.” 

“Thank you,” Miko said, but he couldn’t manage much else. He glanced at Adra, and she smiled at him in a reassuring way. It relaxed him a little. 

“Son, Ruto is here from the Luvon Clan,” Kozu said to Noxx. He jerked his head across the courtyard at another Shaytan. “You should say hello.” 

Miko turned to look. This Shaytan had stood out from the first moment Miko had noticed him. He didn’t look like anyone from the Umbra Clan; he wore stiff, conservative clothes that looked more like a uniform than anything else. His hair was light brown and swept back, and his eyes were the color of rust. He smiled and waved genially when he saw Noxx and his family looking. 

“Of course,” Noxx said. He walked off without another word, and Miko watched him go. Ruto beamed at Noxx as they approached one another and they exchanged the typical Shayta greeting, a fist crossed across the chest and a small bow. 

“How do you like the palace so far, Miko?” Almira said, catching Miko’s attention again. “Is it up to your standards?” 

Miko laughed a little. “It’s beyond any of my expectations,” he said honestly. “It’s beautiful, and it’s so big. Completely different than where I came from.” 

“I’m very curious about Northern Crethia,” Almira said. “I’ve only visited once or twice. Please, tell us a bit about your experience growing up.” 

Miko didn’t really even know where to begin with that, but he told them a little about his family and his mother and his village. They listened with apparent interest and asked questions he’d never even considered to think about, like “how did your mother feed all of your siblings?” and “you mean you had to hunt and gather for your own food?” 

Miko found himself answering the same basic questions throughout the night by curious Shayta who had never met a Neri before and had never been outside their city. Miko didn’t mind the questions, exactly, but he barely got a chance to ask any of his own questions, and he didn’t get a moment alone with Noxx to talk to him. 

The party wound late into the night, and Miko finally found a moment to escape to the food table. Suddenly starving, he devoured some mysterious pieces of fruit and stuffed some fresh bread and cheese into his mouth afterwards. The fruit was sweeter than anything he was used to and it seemed to explode with juice in his mouth. He’d never had such decadent cheese before, either; it was soft and creamy and covered in herbs, tangy and nutty at the same time. 

“The food is outstanding, isn’t it?” an unfamiliar, friendly voice said. Miko looked up and recognized the face immediately. Ruto, from the Luvon Clan. He was smiling, and Miko suddenly realized his mouth was still stuffed with bread. He flushed and swallowed noisily. 

“Yes,” Miko said. “I, um, sorry. You’re Ruto.” He scrambled to perform the traditional male Shayta greeting, and Ruto’s smile widened. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Ruto said. “Miko. Your name has been on the lips of our people for quite some time now.” 

He took Miko’s hand and squeezed his fingers gently, and Miko’s eyebrows flew up. “You know the Neri greeting,” he said, surprised. 

“I know quite a bit about your people,” Ruto said. “I’ve spent some time in Northern Crethia. Neri are incredibly welcoming and very hospitable. I’ve had nothing but wonderful experiences.” 

Miko beamed. This was the first Shaytan who knew anything about Neri culture, and it was a relief. “My family loves to host travelers,” he said. “We don’t get very many of them, but my mother is thrilled when we’re able to host someone.” 

Ruto smiled again, his gaze turning understanding now. “I’m sure you already miss them,” he said. “Your family. You’re very far from home, after all.” 

Miko shrugged, but of course he did miss them. “I’ll get used to it here,” he said. “It’s just different. Besides, my siblings and my mother all promised to write.” 

“Optimistic. A very admirable trait.” Ruto tilted his head. “Noxx certainly got lucky with you, didn’t he?” 

Miko’s face felt warm. “I don’t know about that.” 

“Oh, believe me. The Umbra family have been seeking to make this alliance with Northern Crethia for quite some time. I’m sure it feels as though you are making a great personal sacrifice, but believe me when I say that we—all of us—are beyond pleased that you are here. The Shayta will only grow stronger because of you.” 

Miko didn’t even know what to say of that. Of course he knew this marriage was important, but he hadn’t really given himself time to think about it too hard. 

Ruto glanced over Miko’s head and gave an apologetic smile. “My guard is calling for me,” he said. “I’m afraid I must take my leave.” He took Miko’s hand and gave it another squeeze. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other soon.” 

He walked off to join the rest of his clan. Miko watched him leave, twisting one of his bracelets around his wrist. 

“What did Ruto want?” another voice said, and Miko jumped. Adra had joined him, and was watching Ruto as well, a frown on her face. 

“Nothing much,” Miko said. “He just wanted to introduce himself.” He blinked in confusion at the look on Adra’s face. “What is it?” 

Adra pursed her lips. “It’s nothing,” she said. “I’ve just never liked the Luvon Clan. Our relationship with them has always been a little tense.” She shook her head, as though removing herself of the thought, and smiled. “You’re handling all of this quite well,” she said. “I thought you’d be overwhelmed, but you seem like you’re doing all right.” 

“I’m glad it comes across that way,” Miko said wryly. He looked around briefly. “Where’s Noxx?” 

“He’s retired for the night,” Adra said. “The reception is winding down. I thought I’d escort you back to your room. Noxx is right down the hall from you—I imagine you two will want to spend a little time together tonight.” 

Miko’s skin went abruptly hot at the implication of that, and he paused with another piece of fruit halfway towards his mouth. This was his and Noxx’s wedding night, after all, and they hadn’t exactly talked about expectations. Miko had never really been… _intimate_ with anyone before. At least, not beyond a little awkward fumbling with a crush or two when he was growing up. It wasn’t something that was talked about openly, back in Northern Crethia. 

“This way,” Adra said, oblivious to how flustered Miko was. Miko popped the last piece of fruit into his mouth and stumbled after her towards the palace. 

They wound through the darkened, candle-lit hallways back towards Miko’s room. He appreciated the guidance; he didn’t quite have a handle on this place or the way it was structured, and he imagined he’d be getting lost in here for a few weeks at least. His village had been half the size of this single dwelling. 

“That’s Noxx’s room,” Adra said as they were nearing Miko’s room. She pointed at an ornate red door. “There should be fresh clothes in the cabinet in your room, and there’s a bell to call a servant if you need.” She gave a small wave. “Sleep well.” 

Miko waved back meekly. He slipped into his room. 

He spent a few moments with his back against the door, panicking. He had no idea what traditional Shayta mating rituals were like, and he imagined they were fairly different from Neri rituals. Neri, regardless of gender, went through monthly cycles of hormonal changes and were only fertile for a few days. As far as Miko knew, Shayta didn’t have those monthly heats and were always ready to mate. Did that mean that—every night—? 

Miko shook himself off. He rubbed his hands over his face and then looked down at the bracelets jingling on his arms. First things first, he needed to get out of this ornate outfit. 

He shed his clothes and took down his hair, brushing it out. He removed his jewelry carefully, one piece at a time, and placed it all on top of his wardrobe. Then he used the stone basin to wash his face, removing the sweat from the long evening. 

He toweled dry and raided his wardrobe for clothing. He didn’t understand most of it and spent a few moments panicking, trying to distinguish between tops and bottoms and which ones draped and which ones tied. If he walked into Noxx’s room wearing something incorrect, he worried that Noxx would just laugh him out of the room. 

Finally, Miko realized that there were clothes already laid out for him on top of the bed. Miko picked up the soft white tunic and lifted it over his body, and smiled at the way it settled, like satin, against his skin. He turned this way and that, and the fabric swished pleasantly against his bare legs. 

He took a deep breath and faced himself in the mirror. His face, frightened and pale, stared back at him. He clenched his hands into fists at his side. 

_Everyone does this. There’s nothing to be so nervous about. Just do it._

Miko gathered his courage and marched out of his bedroom. He knocked softly at Noxx’s door, and then listened. When there was no response, he pushed the door open lightly, sticking his head inside. 

Noxx’s bedroom was different than Miko’s. It was lit by soft candlelight and the bed was covered in dark blue sheets, rather than the soft white ones on Miko’s bed. The room was meticulously organized, everything stacked and set in rows and the floor absolutely spotless. Noxx himself was sitting cross-legged on his bed, a large book sitting open in front of him, fingers rubbing at his chin as though in thought. He looked up when Miko stepped inside, but his expression didn’t change. 

“Um,” Miko said. “Sorry. I hope I’m not interrupting.” 

Noxx didn’t respond, but he also didn’t kick Miko out of his bedroom, so Miko closed the door behind him and took another couple steps inside. His face felt very hot and he hoped the light was too dim for Noxx to notice. For a brief moment Miko’s voice seemed to catch in his throat and neither of them spoke. 

“I just wanted to see…” Miko cleared his throat. “I thought, now that we’re joined, you probably wanted…” He trailed off. He really wasn’t any good at this. 

“I don’t,” Noxx said, flat. Miko’s stomach dropped out. 

“Oh,” he said. 

Noxx rubbed his chin. He continued to gaze, expressionless, in Miko’s direction. “It’s not you,” he said after a moment. “It has nothing to do with you.” 

“Then…what?” 

Noxx turned his gaze back to his book. “This is a marriage of convenience,” he said. “I did it for my family, but it’s nothing more than that. I have no intention to take you.” 

“Never?” Miko said blankly. 

“No.” 

Miko’s shoulders slumped. He was a little relieved, of course, but a surprising feeling, like disappointment, joined that sensation in the pit of his stomach. He’d never been rejected like this. He didn’t find he enjoyed it. 

“All right, well,” Miko said. “I’ll just…leave you, then.” 

Noxx didn’t respond. Miko turned and slipped back into the hall, making a beeline for his bedroom. 

* * *

The palace was busy in the mornings. 

Miko spent his time after breakfast exploring, wandering sunlit hallways and watching as servants bustled past him. He tried to talk to some of the guards, but at most he would only nod at him. The servants weren’t any better; they were always too busy to chat, racing back and forth to their various duties. Unless Miko needed something, they didn’t have time to offer him. 

Miko couldn’t get used to the heat. It felt like it was sucking the moisture directly out of his body. He’d never been so thirsty before, and so moist at the same time. It was a bizarre and unsettling combination. 

Adra found him in the afternoon while he was sitting outside at a fountain, watching the light dance across the surface of the water. She smiled at him and danced over to him, barefoot. Her hair was tied back today, in a thick bundle over her shoulders. “I just saw Noxx leaving the palace,” she said. “Did you get to talk to him before he left?” 

“No,” Miko said. “We haven’t talked much at all.” 

Adra sighed and placed her hands on her hips. “That idiot,” she said. “Well, he’ll come around eventually. Give him some time.” Her smile returned, and she held out a hand towards him. “You shouldn’t sulk here all alone. I’m sitting with some of the other women on the upstairs terrace. We’re drinking Amberra and weaving.” 

Miko had no idea what Amberra was, but he was pretty decent at weaving—he’d had to repair his siblings’ clothing all through his life. He let Adra pull him to his feet and followed her upstairs to the terrace. 

A dozen women were gathered together on the terrace, sitting on the ground in cushions, fabric and thread resting in their laps. They smiled over at Adra in greeting and then turned their gazes, curious, on Miko. “Hello!” Adra said, keeping hold of Miko’s hand as though he was planning on turning and making a break for it. “This is Miko, Noxx’s new husband. I brought him along to weave with us.” 

The other Shayta greeted Miko with warm smiles and bows. Miko bowed back awkwardly and then followed Adra into the circle, taking a seat on one of the empty cushions. The fabric was warm from the sun. 

Adra handed him a cup of amber-colored liquid. Amberra, Miko assumed. “What’s in it?” Miko asked, giving the liquid a cursory sniff. It smelled fruity and a little spicy, like apple cider. 

“It’s the juice of several different fruits mixed together,” Adra said. “It’s cooked with spices to give it a richer flavor. Try it.” 

Miko sipped cautiously. The spices took him by surprise at first and he coughed as he lowered the cup, and several of the Shayta giggled good-naturedly at him. “It’s nice,” Miko said, coughing again, and Adra grinned at him. 

Miko spent all afternoon sitting on the terrace and weaving together a blanket of his own design, and it was shockingly pleasant. The Shayta gossiped and laughed together and shared stories, and Miko was finally able to ask about some of the things he’d been dying to know. 

“You mean there are _no_ female guards?” Miko asked in disbelief, late into the afternoon. He stared from one face to another, as though waiting for someone to tell him they were kidding. “Not _one_?” 

“Females aren’t really given the chance to train in,” one of the women said. Her hair was braided back and hung over her shoulder. Ilsa, Miko thought her name was. “I don’t mind, personally. I wouldn’t want to put my life on the line like that.” 

“How do you spend your time, then?” Miko said, baffled. “Just…this? Every day?” 

“But it’s not so bad, is it?” Adra said, lifting the piece of fabric she was decorating with intricate roses, as though to prove her point. “We make art and we read and teach ourselves new skills. I’ve read practically every book in our library. I’ll show you sometime. It’s not difficult to keep ourselves occupied.” 

It still drove Miko crazy, how separate male and female Shayta were from one another—it left him feeling unsettled, in a way he couldn’t even really express. They didn’t differentiate like that in Northern Crethia. Neri were allowed to live their lives how they liked, and gender didn’t typically come into play at all. Outside of childbearing, maybe, Miko didn’t understand what the point was of keeping genders separate from one another. 

Sitting with the female Shayta that afternoon, he learned more about the palace and the Umbra Clan than he’d ever known before. He learned Eero Kuzo—Eero being their term for “leader”—who's first wife who had died, along with his unborn son, and learned of the grief Kuzo had gone through following that. Miko learned about servants who were having secret, after-hours trysts that they thought were being kept secret. He learned about Adra’s upbringing and, through that, a little about Noxx’s upbringing as well. 

“Noxx and I didn’t spend much time together as children,” Adra said. “I learned astronomy and art and music, while Noxx learned how to weave spellwork and use weapons. We got to play outside in the courtyards together sometimes, but other than that we didn’t see each other much.” Adra set her weaving aside and leaned back on her hands. “I suppose I’ll be the next to be married. Father might have me marry Ruto, to form an alliance with the Luvon Clan.” 

“You could do a lot worse,” one of the other women pointed out. “Ruto is handsome and kind.” 

“I suppose,” Adra said. “I think I’d rather travel Crethia first. I’ve hardly been outside the city.” 

“Do you want to get married?” Miko asked. 

Adra shrugged. “I don’t really know,” she said. “I haven’t thought about it much.” She tilted her head over and smiled crookedly at him. “You know as well as I do that it doesn’t matter much what I want for myself.” 

* * *

Miko joined the Umbra Clan for dinner that night. They held the meal in a large banquet hall and it was an elegant, expansive affair, since there were still guests from the wedding staying an extra day in the palace. Most of them were from the Luvon Clan; after their earlier conversation, Miko noticed when Adra made a point to sit next to Ruto at the table. 

Miko sat himself down next to Noxx, but the two of them didn’t speak during the meal, didn’t even exchange glances. Miko focused instead on eating—there were so many things to choose from and he wanted to try them all, so he settled for taking a little from each dish and piling them all on his plate. He wasn’t even sure what he was eating half the time, but it was all delicious. He’d never been able to stuff himself full like this before. 

Eventually, Noxx abandoned Miko completely to sit with a handful male Shayta from the Luvon Clan. Miko sighed and rested his chin in one hand, watching them talk from across the table. He hadn’t expected to feel quite this lonely, moving here. 

“How are you settling in, Miko?” a voice said. 

Miko looked over. Ruto had taken Noxx’s vacated seat and was holding out a goblet of something to Miko. “All right, I suppose,” Miko said. He took the goblet and took a look inside. It looked like wine. “I like the palace, in any case.” 

“I hear you’ve found your place already,” Ruto said with a chuckle. His gaze twinkled with amusement. “Adra tells me you spent the afternoon weaving with her and the other females.” 

Miko nodded. “It was kind of her to bring me into her circle,” he said. “I’m not very good at it yet, but—” 

“Miko, really,” Ruto said. “You don’t have to pretend for my sake.” 

Miko blinked. “Huh?” 

“Adra can be quite persistent. I’m sure weaving with a bunch of gossiping women isn’t your idea of a perfect evening. You don’t have to stay with them just to be polite.” 

“I wasn’t,” Miko said blankly. “I like making things. And they were kind.” 

“If you say so.” Ruto leaned back in his seat. He swirled a glass of wine in his hand. “If you like, however, I’m sure Noxx would be happy to have you join the other men in combat training.” He glanced, briefly, in Noxx’s direction across the table. “But I understand if that’s not really your thing.” 

“I’ve never used weapons before,” Miko admitted. “Not for anything except hunting and fishing, at least.” 

“Charming,” Ruto said, eyes twinkling again. “How different can it be, really?” He drained his wine glass and set it aside. “How are you and Noxx getting along?” 

“We’re…” Miko paused. He wanted, desperately, all of a sudden, to tell the truth and spill his emotions to someone who would listen, even if it was someone who he didn’t know very well. “We’re fine,” he finished lamely, and his hesitation seemed to be indication enough of the truth. Ruto’s gaze softened with understanding. 

“Give it time,” Ruto said gently. “With arranged pairings like this one, sometimes it takes a little while to get to know one another.” His eyes glinted and he stood. “I promise Noxx isn’t blind. He’ll see what he’s missing out on soon enough.” 

Miko scrambled to his feet. “Wait,” he said. “You’re leaving?” 

“My men and I head home in the morning.” Ruto smiled and took hold of Miko’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “I’m sure our paths will cross again soon.” 

* * *

Miko caught up with Noxx after dinner, stopping him on the way upstairs. “Noxx,” he said, and Noxx paused at the foot of the stairs, turning to look at him. “Can we talk for a moment?” 

Noxx folded his arms, leaning against the banister. “What is it?” he said. His voice was curt, but not necessarily unfriendly. Miko took a slow breath. 

“I was just wondering if it…it bothered you…” Miko rubbed the back of his neck. “I spent the day weaving with the other women, and Ruto said I should be training with the males instead—” 

“Don’t listen to anything Ruto says,” Noxx said, eyes flashing. “The Luvon Clan, they are not our friends. You’d do well to remember that.” 

Miko balked, recoiling a little at the vehemence in Noxx’s voice. Ruto was one of the first people who had shown Miko kindness. “Okay,” Miko stammered, “but still, does it bother you if I—” 

“I don’t care how you spend your time,” Noxx said. “You can do whatever you choose, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of my work.” He raised his eyebrows. “Is that all?” 

Miko wanted to let it drop, but his temper flared. He curled his hands into fists at his sides. 

“Noxx, do you have any idea what I gave up to come here?” Miko said, his voice trembling. He squeezed his hands tighter. “You think this is what I wanted? I left behind my entire family. I left behind my whole village. And you won’t even _look_ at me.” 

Noxx stared at him, expressionless. He didn’t say anything. It was infuriating, and Miko’s anger swelled bigger. 

“I can’t live out my life like this,” Miko said. “I can’t give up my whole life and not get at least something from you in return.” 

Noxx sighed. He raised his eyes to the ceiling and was silent for a brief moment, the air between them ringing. Finally Noxx shifted, unfolding his arms and reaching for the stair banister. “You made your choice, Miko,” he said. “It’s not my fault this isn’t what you expected. You have everything you need here, and that will have to be enough.” 

Miko’s hands uncurled and his shoulders slumped. He stared in disbelief and opened his mouth, trying to say something in response, but nothing came to him. He watched, silent, as Noxx turned away from him and ascended the stairs. 


	3. Chapter 3

A first letter came in the mail from Miko’s family, two weeks into his stay in Southern Crethia.

Miko had spent most of those two weeks exploring the city, avoiding Noxx, and weaving delicate tapestries with Adra and other female Shayta. He settled into a comforting, if a little boring, routine of leisure. He read books and strolled through the bustling markets and sampled street food, and learned new ways to create. It wasn’t a terrible life to lead, he reasoned.

Still, he felt desperately restless.

He wasn’t used to sitting around like this. He liked making himself useful, using his hands to hunt and fish and help people. He’d never had this much time on his hands before, and he didn’t know what to do with himself.

The letter from his family didn’t do much to ease his restlessness. If anything, seeing his mother and his siblings write to him just made him more homesick, more desperate for something he couldn’t place. He kept the letter on his bedside table and reread it for days after he’d received it, trying to imagine the exact cadence of his mother’s voice. On really difficult nights, he’d even sing the song she used to sing him to sleep with as a child. It comforted him a little.

Despite Miko’s restlessness, the idea of learning to fight and use weapons like the other males didn’t appeal to him, either. Hurting anything other than animals for the sake of food put a bad taste in his mouth. Adra understood—she’d never had any desire to learn to fight, either.

“But women aren’t expected to,” she said. “Female Shayta aren’t built for that.”

“Do you really believe that?” Miko asked. They were strolling back to the palace in late afternoon side-by-side, the air dry and dusty and hot. It was growing late, the evening sun glowing out ahead of them. “Or is that just what you’ve been told your whole life?”

“I suppose a little of both,” Adra said. “I don’t think I’m built for fighting, personally. Perhaps other females feel differently.”

The guards nodded at them as they stepped through the entrance to the palace. The staff didn’t stare at Miko anymore, to his relief. They’d gotten used to his presence over the past few weeks. Miko knew they still talked about him behind his back—he heard the gossip while he did weaving with the other Shayta—but it didn’t bother him very much. It was mostly just because nobody knew anything about Neri.

On the way towards the stairs, the sound of footsteps made them pause. Noxx ascended the staircase towards them, his gaze fixed on Miko. “Adra,” Noxx said, pausing at the foot of the stairs. “I need to speak with Miko for a moment.”

“Of course,” Adra said, eyebrows raised in surprise. She nodded at Miko and climbed the stairs, glancing back with worry once or twice on the way up.

“What is it?” Miko said. Noxx had barely glanced in Miko’s direction for the past few days—he was usually off working, too busy to offer Miko more than a word or two. “Is something wrong?”

“Not exactly,” Noxx said. He sighed, looking at something over Miko’s shoulder, as though to avoid his gaze. “I have to travel to meet with another Shayta clan, just west of here. You’re going to come with me.”

“I am?” Miko said. “Why?”

“My father seems to think we’re not spending enough time together,” Noxx said. “He says I need to make an effort, for public opinion if nothing else. So, you’re going to come travel with me, and we’re going to…bond. I suppose.”

“Oh.” Miko hesitated. He desperately wanted to escape this feeling of restlessness, and getting out of the palace might finally give him that. On the other hand, spending any time alone with Noxx wasn’t particularly appealing. “I don’t have a choice in the matter, do I?”

Noxx’s mouth twitched. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was closer than Miko had ever seen before. “No, I don’t think so,” Noxx said. “We’re leaving in half an hour. Can you be ready by then?”

“S-sure.”

Noxx nodded curtly and stepped past him, heading for the palace entrance. Miko raced upstairs to pack a bag.

* * *

Noxx was planning to visit the Samica clan, a small group of Shayta stationed an hour away. They lived in a quaint but busy village, a welcome change from the enormous city Miko had been living in for the past couple weeks.

Noxx was quiet during the journey. Miko didn’t push it—he was happy to simply watch the scenery pass by and enjoy the way the carriage kept the heat from the sunlight off of him. His skin didn’t do well with the dry heat, and he’d been fighting these past few days to combat it. Long baths, scented oils, and frequent hydration were his only current tools.

“The clan leader will meet us there,” Noxx said, pointing out the carriage window at a large brick dwelling at the end of a long, steep walkway. “Her name is Havora. I’ll introduce you myself.”

“Her?” Miko echoed, surprised.

“She is the only female Shayta who leads a clan,” Noxx explained. “Her husband died four years ago. Everyone expected her to remarry, or maybe rescind leadership to a relative, since she has no children. But she chose to keep the position and rule by herself.”

“Is that…allowed?”

Noxx shrugged. “There aren’t technically any laws against it,” he said. “A lot of people abandoned her clan because of it, however. It’s smaller now, and mostly female. But she stood by her decision, and those who have stayed have seen great prosperity.”

Miko smiled. He was looking forward to meeting her. “Does she knew I’m a Neri?”

“Yes. All the clans know. Word had spread before you even arrived in Southern Crethia.”

It was an odd feeling, being known by so many strangers and yet feeling like a stranger himself. It was as though everyone knew about Miko and yet had no desire to understand or get to know him. Including Noxx, it seemed.

“Is that what you wanted?” Miko asked. “You wanted the other Shayta clans to know you’d made connections with Northern Crethia?”

Noxx grunted, neither a denial nor a sound to the affirmative. He sat up, gaze fixed out the window. “We’re here.”

The evening was full of harsh, unrelenting heat. Miko could already feel it tightening and cracking his skin as he followed Noxx up the long pathway, the guards trailing behind them. The house felt larger up close, though it was still oddly cozy, its walls lined with decorated ceramic vases and wicker baskets, its windows open to allow air inside, a welcoming multicolored mat resting at the foot of the door.

A youthful woman stepped out of the front door as they approached, wearing a long red tunic and glowing gold arm bands. Her hair was braided and curled and gold hoops dangled from her ears, catching the light as she smiled.

“Welcome, Noxx,” she said as they came closer. She bowed, her hand placed over her heart. “Thank you for making the journey here.”

Noxx returned the gesture, and Miko scrambled to do the same. When he straightened, the woman’s gaze was fixed on him, curious. It was an expression Miko had grown very used to.

“This is Miko, the Neri from Northern Crethia,” Noxx said. Miko wondered briefly if he was choosing his words carefully, to avoid calling Miko his husband. “Miko, this is Havora, Eero of the Samica Clan.”

“Welcome, Miko,” Havora said. “I’ve heard much about you. I’ve been looking forward to finally meeting you.” She gestured with a graceful, long-fingered hand to the doorway. “Please, come in. I have drinks waiting on the back patio, beside the water.”

They traveled through the house towards the patio, passing by several servants, all young women. Out back, a piece of cloth was hung between wooden poles to shade a stretch of ground inlaid with rocks. In between two stone benches was a low stone table, and on the table was a pitcher and two glasses.

“Miri, please bring an extra glass at once,” Havora said, snapping her fingers at a waiting servant girl. The girl bowed and bustled off, returning several moments later with a third glass, which she placed on the table and then began to fill, one by one. Miko recognized the deep rich color of Amberra.

“I imagine you’re here to discuss the land agreements we established last month,” Havora said once the three of them were seated, their drinks in hand. “I’m afraid I cannot budge on this, Noxx. I know your father is putting pressure on you to expand the agreement, but if we rescind control over any more of our land we’ll have no chance to broaden our clan.”

“I’m aware of that.” Noxx leaned forward, his glass cradled in both hands. He hadn’t taken a sip from it yet. “I imagine that’s what my father would prefer, actually, even if he won’t admit it. I’m not going to cut corners on the truth, out of respect for you and your people.”

“I appreciate that.” Havora leaned back in her seat, folding her legs. She wore a pair of sandals that matched the gold of her jewelry. “You don’t feel the same?”

“I don’t have a problem with you or your clan,” Noxx said, and he sounded honest. “I would like to give you the best chance to prosper possible, if I can. But that land is directly within an established trade route.”

“Exactly why we chose to settle there,” Havora said, with a pleasant smile. She glanced over at Miko, and her smile widened. “So sorry, Miko. I’m sure this is terribly boring for you. We clan leaders are very business-before-pleasure types.”

Noxx’s hands flexed around his glass when Havora called him a clan leader, but his expression didn’t change. Miko returned Havora’s smile, and shook his head. “Not at all,” he said. “It’s interesting. I’ve spent a very sheltered life, I know almost nothing about Southern Crethia.”

“I see,” Havora said. She tapped her nail against the edge of her glass. “And how are you liking your experience here, so far?”

Miko hesitated. The last thing he wanted to do was say something offensive in front of another clan leader, but he wasn’t a very good liar. When he didn’t answer right away, Havora’s smile widened and her eyes twinkled with amusement. “Not well, I take it?” she said.

“No, it’s not that,” Miko said quickly. “It’s just a lot to adjust to. I’m not used to the hot weather and the customs. But I like it here. I don’t regret my decision.”

Noxx was watching him out of the corner of his eye. Miko pretended not to notice.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Havora said. She beckoned a servant girl over and lifted her glass to have it refilled. “Now then, I’d love to hear more about you, Miko, but first I suppose we should get this land agreement settled.”

* * *

“Were you telling the truth?” Noxx asked.

Miko looked up in surprise. He’d settled on one of the leather couches in Havora’s sitting room after supper and had spent the past half-hour perusing her collection of books, reading bits and pieces of whatever he found interesting. Noxx had been busy discussing trade agreements and land disputes with Havora, but now he stood in the doorway with his arms folded, leaning one shoulder against the aging wood.

“About what?” Miko said blankly.

“When you said…” Noxx hesitated. He was looking just over Miko’s shoulder again, as though unwilling to meet his gaze. “You told Havora that you have no regrets, coming here,” Noxx finished finally. “But mere days ago you told me the opposite. I’m simply wondering which is the truth.”

“I did?”

Noxx’s mouth twitched. “ _I gave up my whole life to come here_?” he quoted, and Miko grimaced. He’d almost forgotten about that interaction entirely.

“Oh. That.” Miko sighed and closed his book, curling his legs underneath him on the couch. “I was upset when I said that.”

“Obviously.” Noxx raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you didn’t mean it?”

“It’s just complicated, Noxx,” Miko said. “Of course I didn’t want to leave my family and my home, but that doesn’t mean I regret making my decision. I know ultimately I made the correct choice, even if it came at personal sacrifice. This marriage, it’s bigger than either of us. It matters to your people. That makes it worth it to me.”

Noxx stared at him for a long time, silent. He tapped his fingers against his arm and then finally straightened off the doorway, and his expression had softened a little. “What are you reading?” he asked.

Miko wondered if Noxx was trying to change the subject, but he smiled. “It’s a history book about how Northern and Southern Crethia split from one another,” Miko said. “If I’m going to live down here, I want to learn as much as I can about this part of the country.”

Noxx stepped over to the couch. He settled at Miko’s side, looking over at the cover of the book in Miko’s lap. “I’ve read that before,” he said.

“You have? When?”

“A long time ago. I’ve read almost every piece of literature available related to Southern Crethia’s history. Adra and I, we were given an extensive education growing up.”

“I never learned about any of this,” Miko said with a wry smile. “Learning to hunt and fish and cook, those things were more important. History didn’t put food on the table.”

Noxx was staring at him again. His gaze was intense and Miko shifted nervously beneath it. “What?” Miko said. “What is it?”

Noxx shook his head. “You say you don’t know much about Southern Crethia,” he said, “but I’m starting to think I know even less about Northern Crethia.”

“Well, I can tell you anything you want to know now,” Miko said, smiling again.

Noxx sighed. His gaze went unfocused over Miko’s shoulder again, looking out one of the open windows at the darkness. “I meant it when I said that I entered this marriage out of convenience,” he said, “but that doesn’t mean I want you to feel isolated. I hope you’ll make our home your own, in a way that pleases you. Once you’ve grown accustomed to our way of life, of course.”

A feeling of warmth took Miko by surprise, settling in his chest. “Thank you, Noxx,” he said.

“And if you want to visit your family, you are of course welcome to,” Noxx continued. “Just say the word, and the guards will escort you north.”

Miko gave an uneasy laugh. “It’s strange being escorted everywhere,” he said. He rarely even left the palace without a guard somewhere nearby. “I don’t know how you’re so used to it. It sets me on edge.”

“Just wait until a first attempt on your life,” Noxx said. “You’ll feel differently.”

Miko’s eyes went wide, and fear climbed up the back of his neck like sharp claws. “Does that happen a lot?” he said.

“Not often,” Noxx said. He seemed amused by the terror in Miko’s expression. “And you won’t likely be targeted, just me. Not to worry.”

Miko blew out a breath, vaguely comforted. “I think this is more than I bargained for,” he said, and Noxx chuckled softly in response. It wasn’t much, but it was the first time Miko had heard him laugh. It made Miko relax a little. Noxx hadn’t even seemed capable of any emotions until today.

“Is this what you imagined for your life?” Miko asked, buoyed by Noxx’s new, more relaxed demeanor. “Did you picture yourself taking over as clan leader?”

Noxx shrugged. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I never had a choice. I’ve been preparing for this since I was old enough to walk. There wouldn’t be any point in trying to imagine something else.”

“But doesn’t that…bother you?”

“Sometimes. Perhaps.” Noxx frowned, like it wasn’t something he’d considered before. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter. And my father thinks I’ll make an adequate leader.”

“You don’t sound so sure yourself.”

Noxx glanced over, meeting Miko’s gaze. Miko blinked back, worried for a moment that he’d said something wrong. But Noxx’s gaze didn’t seem angry; he searched Miko’s face for another few moments, silent, thoughtful. “It’s unimportant what I think,” Noxx said finally. “It just matters how I live up to expectations when the day actually comes.” He tilted his head a little. “You’re not what I expected a Neri to be like.”

Miko frowned, pursing his lips. “What does that mean?”

“Never mind.” Noxx pushed himself to his feet. “Havora had her servants prepare a room for us—I hope you don’t mind sharing a bed. We should get to sleep, we need to be heading back home early tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, sure.” Miko stood, taking his book with him. He slipped it back onto the shelf where it was.

The guest room was on the second floor of the house. It had its own balcony that looked out over the back gardens and a lush white canopy bed at the center a dark wood floor. Miko didn’t mind sharing a bed—he’d shared plenty with his siblings growing up—but sharing a bed with Noxx, once the door had closed behind them, felt very different. Miko wasn’t sure how to act.

Noxx didn’t seem bothered by the proximity. He undressed to change into sleep clothes, as though unaware of Miko’s presence nearby. There were tattoos all over his back, something Miko hadn’t noticed before. They snaked across the muscles of his arms and shoulders and even up the back of his neck. Miko wondered if Shayta received all those tattoos at once, or if they got them gradually as they grew older. Then he wondered if they hurt. Miko winced at the thought of a needle at the sensitive skin of his throat.

Noxx glanced over at Miko quizzically as he headed towards the bed. “Aren’t you going to change?” he said.

Miko’s face went red. He stepped over to the screen on the far side of the room and slipped behind it to change.

* * *

“I look forward to seeing you at the Festival of the White Dove,” Havora said. She was seeing Miko and Noxx off following breakfast. It was a pleasantly cool morning, the air less dry than the previous day.

“Likewise.” Noxx bowed and Miko did the same. They headed back towards the carriage waiting behind them.

“What’s the Festival of the White Dove?” Miko asked, once he and Noxx were headed off.

“It happens once a year,” Noxx said. “It’s meant to mark the halfway point of the seasons. There’s a legend that at that time of year, the white dove appeared to warn us of a coming drought. The Umbra Clan hosts a party and a feast.”

“We never celebrated that ourselves,” Miko said.

“Well, you wouldn’t,” Noxx said. “It’s unique to Southern Crethia.”

Adra came to greet Miko as soon as he arrived back at the palace. They sat together that afternoon to drink Amberra and chat, and Adra seemed engrossed with Miko’s description of the experience. “I love the idea of an all-female Shayta clan,” she said dreamily. “Imagine how different that would be.”

“It didn’t strike me as much different from life here,” Miko said. “It was just smaller. Everything else was the same.”

“How was it, spending the day with Noxx?” Adra asked. “Are you two getting along?”

“I suppose so.” Miko hunched one shoulder. “He’s just…he’s so closed-off. I have a hard time understanding him.”

“My mother, she said she experienced something similar when she married my father,” Adra said. “Their partnership was planned long before they’d come of age, and they hardly knew each other at first. They seem to have a very strong relationship now, but I’m sure it’s hard at first.”

“You know Noxx best,” Miko said. “Has he always been like this? Sort of…hardened?”

“He had to grow up very quickly, I suppose,” Adra said. “He’s been training since childhood to take over for the clan. He never really had the chance to be a child.” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe with a little time you’ll be able to coax him out of that. It could be good for him, having the chance to let loose, have a little fun.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to manage that,” Miko said. “But I guess I can try.” He stretched his arms over his head. He was starting to get used to the strange Southern Crethia clothing—the light fabric had grown pleasant, especially in the oppressive heat. “Did you never want to take over the clan yourself?”

“Me?” Adra said, eyes widening like the question was absurd. “No, never. I’m not cut out for something like that.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’m just not. I’m not leadership material. I’d much rather spend my days having fun, relaxing. Not trying to form laws and regulations. Sounds boring.” Adra hopped up, smiling. “Speaking of which. I want to go down to the market, get some new clothes. Do you want to come with me?”

“Sure, all right.” Miko pushed himself up. “Lead the way.”

* * *

Adra’s words wouldn’t leave Miko alone all evening, and slowly an idea came to him. He deliberated for hours, anxious about doing the wrong thing and ruining any progress he’d made. Eventually, however, he summoned his courage and made a decision. After supper, he headed for Noxx’s room, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cloak draped over his arm. He knocked lightly at the door, his heart thudding harshly in his throat.

For a moment there was silence. When the door swung open, Miko had a brief moment where he wanted to turn and run away, forgetting his entire plan. Noxx was still fully dressed and he frowned at Miko from the doorway of his bedroom, looking puzzled.

“Miko?” Noxx said. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” Miko said. “I just, um…” He hesitated. “I guess I wanted to say thanks for bringing me along with you to visit Havora. I thought maybe…”

He held up the bottle of wine he’d brought with him. His words seemed to tangle themselves together on his tongue.

“…A drink?” Miko finished. “Maybe a walk?”

Noxx stared at him. He seemed to be really taken aback. “Miko, it’s the middle of the night,” he said finally.

“I know,” Miko said. “But you’re still awake, aren’t you?”

Noxx narrowed his eyes. He glanced down at the bottle of wine in Miko’s hands and back to his face. “You said a walk,” he said. “Where?”

“I don’t know. Away from the palace. I figured you could use a break, some time where you’re not being watched like a hawk.” Miko shrugged. “Might be nice to talk. Get to know each other. We haven’t exactly had many chances yet.”

For a moment Noxx looked like he was going to refuse. He sighed and glanced over his shoulder at his bed, where a dozen papers strewn about the covers. “Miko…”

“You’re always working,” Miko pressed. “Take a few minutes and relax. It won’t kill you.”

Noxx’s gaze flickered back in Miko’s direction. “Fine,” he said. “Twenty minutes. But that’s all.”

Miko grinned. He tossed one of the cloaks he’d brought with him, and Noxx caught it midair. “Great,” Miko said. “Follow me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who's read and left kudos so far! Drop a comment if you're enjoying, I'd love to hear from you <3  
> Or come chat with me on tumblr, crystalflowers.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

“Miko, where the hell are we going?”

“ _Shh_.” Miko glanced back at Noxx and glared at him. “You’re not very good at this sneaking out thing, are you? Have you never done anything rebellious in your life?”

They were just outside the palace, now, dressed in cloaks and heading towards the edge of the city. There was a small pond just outside that Miko had once visited with Adra, and he was dying to go for a swim in it. It wasn’t in sight of the palace, so they would be relatively safe from scrutiny there unless they were followed.

“I’m the son of the Umbra Clan leader,” Noxx said. “Of course I haven’t.”

“Perfect time to start then.” Miko ducked into a small, narrow alleyway. “It’s so boring, always doing what you’re told.”

Noxx just grunted in response. “How do you know this city so well already?” he asked as they exited the alleyway, heading up a stone pathway into the hills. “You’ve lived here for less than a month.”

“I have a naturally good sense of direction,” Miko said. “Besides, what else was I going to do with my time? If I’m going to live here, I want to know my new home, you know?”

“Did you know your old home by heart like that?”

“My old home was a village of a couple hundred people,” Miko said. “There wasn’t much to get to know.”

At the top of the walkway, a short path through a cluster of trees led them to the pond. The water glittered and glowed in the moonlight, and Miko’s whole body seemed to relax at the sight. He’d hardly got a chance to swim since he moved here and he missed it to the point of pain.

“This is where you wanted to go?” Noxx said.

Miko nodded. He uncapped the wine and removed his cloak, spreading it out on the ground. “Have you been here before?”

“No,” Noxx said. “Never.” He was eyeing the water warily, and the expression took Miko aback.

“What is it?” Miko said. He set the wine down on the ground. “Is something wrong?”

Noxx cleared his throat. “I, um,” he said. “I can’t swim.”

“Oh.” Miko bit down on his lip to hide a smile. “You can’t?”

Noxx narrowed his eyes. “It was never important to learn,” he said, growing a little defensive. “It’s not a natural skill to us like it is for you.”

Miko released his lower lip, letting the smile stretch over his face. “I can teach you,” he said, reaching over his shoulder to pull off his tunic, leaving on a pair of simple white undergarments. “It’s very easy. You don’t need to know how to hold your breath for half an hour or anything.”

Noxx’s gaze flickered, still wary, from Miko to the water and back. “I don’t know,” he said.

“All right, then, stay here if you like,” Miko said. He let his hair down, stepping barefoot up to the water and dipping his toes in it to test the temperature. He smirked back at Noxx over his shoulder. “You probably wouldn’t be able to handle it anyway.”

Noxx’s eyes sparked. His shoulders tensed. “Fine,” he said, following Miko’s lead and reaching back to remove his clothes.

The water was cool from the night air, but it was incredibly refreshing. Miko dipped beneath the water and sighed in pleasure and felt himself coming alive again. Blinking water out of his eyes, Miko smoothed his hair back and found that Noxx was still sitting at the edge of the water, watching him. “Aren’t you going to come in?” Miko said, treading water towards him. “It’s not cold, I promise.”

“That’s not really the problem.” Noxx continued to gaze at him. “You look so different in the water. Like you’re a whole different being.”

Miko waded closer. “Noxx, get in the pond.”

Noxx sighed. He slipped his legs into the water and gingerly dropped into the pond, grimacing the entire way. He was tall enough that the water wasn’t really deep enough to surround his whole body. Nevertheless, Miko taught him a few basic strokes and explained how to keep your head above water. Noxx took to it well, better than Miko would have expected.

“Are you sure you’ve never been swimming before?” Miko said, a little later. He and Noxx were seated beside the water now, on the cool ground, sharing the bottle of wine Miko had brought with him.

“I’m sure,” Noxx said. “I’ve never liked water.”

He passed the bottle of wine back in Miko’s direction. Miko took it and sipped. “Why?” he asked.

Noxx shrugged. His expression had gone hard, so Miko decided not to push it.

“It’s not so bad, right?” Miko said instead. “Having fun once in a while, being spontaneous?”

“I guess not.” Noxx eyed him, his gaze amused. “You didn’t leave me much of a choice.”

“I plan to be a poor influence on you.”

Another flicker of a smile passed across Noxx’s face. “A comforting thing to hear,” he said. He leaned back on his hands, gazing at the rippling water. They were silent for several long moments, but it was a comfortable silence. “I have to travel to visit the Luvon Clan in a couple weeks,” Noxx said finally. “If you’d like, you may accompany me again.”

“Really?” Miko said. “Sure, I—that sounds nice.”

Noxx nodded. He reached for the wine and settled back into silence. Miko wiggled his toes in the water and turned his face away to smile to himself.

* * *

Miko rarely saw Noxx over the next couple of weeks, but it didn’t bother him so much. Miko felt like he’d found another side of Noxx, a gentler side, and it comforted him. Noxx wasn’t quite as hardened as Miko had been fearing. Miko was optimistic that, given some time, they could even manage to become friends.

While Noxx took care of his responsibilities, Miko spent time with Adra. He became an expert at weaving and sewing and designed his own clothes, clothes that felt like him but still matched the style of Southern Crethia. He dragged Adra swimming with him, and taught her how to hold her breath underwater. She wasn’t particularly good at it, being a Shayta, but she enjoyed swimming regardless.

Beyond designing clothing, Miko also found comfort in other things, like making jewelry. He spun delicate glass beads onto thread and strung together crystals to make earrings, and admired the way they glittered against his skin. Southern Crethia enjoyed beauty in a way they’d never bothered to up North, and he found himself appreciating it more and more.

“I should warn you,” Noxx said as they prepared to leave the following week. “The Luvon Clan is different from ours. They’re very intense.”

“More intense than you?” Miko said. He approached the carriage, smiling teasingly. “Is that even possible?”

Noxx cast him a dry look. He held out his hand to help Miko into the carriage. “My point is that they have different customs,” Noxx said. “Higher security, more wary of outsiders. As one of the wealthier, more powerful clans, they’ve been targeted almost as much as we have. They’ve taken measures to try and combat that. You’ll see when we get there.”

The Luvon Clan was stationed out in Rathim, a city further north in one of the cooler parts of Southern Crethia. It was a good four-hour journey away. “Will they be wary of me?” Miko asked, steadying himself as the carriage began to move. “I’m practically a stranger.”

“No, you’re not,” Noxx said. “Your name is common knowledge, even if many of them haven’t met you. Besides, you’ll be with me.”

Rathim was immediately different from Klodin, from the first moment Miko caught sight of it. Klodin was sprawling and warm, full of sandy buildings and open architecture and rounded lines. Rathim was more condensed, more barricaded, a solid line of stone surrounding the entire city and blocking their entrance. Past the wall ran more sharp lines of stone, colored black and grey, none of the warm colors Miko had grown used to. The buildings were tall and austere, and the Shayta who lived here wore dark colors and solid whites.

Two uniformed Shayta greeted them at the gates. They welcomed Noxx with warm tones but their expressions barely changed. They held sharp spears in their hands, spears that reminded Miko of the sharpness of the buildings.

They made their way to the center of the city, to the largest building where, Miko assumed, the clan leader Ruto lived. This place was like the palace in Klodin, but gray and square, almost like a castle. At the edge was an iron gate, which two guards swung open to allow them entrance.

Ruto himself was waiting at the front doors, flanked by even more guards. He was wearing a similar uniform to what Miko remembered from the wedding, a pair of long, black-and-red robes with tight sleeves. Under the robes was a simple red tunic and black pants, and on his feet were silver-and-gold sandals. He spread his arms in greeting and beamed as Noxx and Miko approached.

“Noxx, my friend, I’m so glad to see you again,” Ruto said once they were close enough. He and Noxx exchanged bows, and then Ruto turned his smile on Miko. “And you brought your new partner—how lovely! Miko, welcome to Rathim.”

Miko returned the smile and reached out to let Ruto squeeze his hand. “Thank you,” Miko said. “I’ve never seen a city like this before. It’s amazing.”

“You are too kind.” Ruto gestured towards the doors. “Please, follow me. You must be hungry from the journey.” His eyes twinkled. “Miko, I think you’ll appreciate the meal I’ve had prepared.”

Ruto guided them through the palace and into a grand dining hall, a long oak table holding lit from above by a chandelier of candles. Across the table was a spread of food, and Miko’s mouth watered at the smell. His eyes widened at the array of seafood: a whole fish simmered in buttery sauce, legs of steamed crab, grilled pieces of glazed salmon. Ruto had even prepared Northern Crethia’s favorite drink, a warmed mixture of goat’s milk, honey, cinnamon, and a touch of vanilla.

“I hope we’ve gotten the flavors right,” Ruto said, smiling warmly at Miko’s expression. “I consulted the Neri who work here for accuracy, but there’s probably still room for improvement.”

“You have Neri working here?” Miko said in surprise, following Ruto’s lead and sitting down on one side of the table.

“Just a couple,” Ruto said. He waved a Shaytan servant over to pour their drinks. “I don’t think they’re from the same clan as yours. You grew up in the Meria clan, if I’m not mistaken?”

“That’s right.” Miko smiled his thanks at the servant who’d poured him his drink and curled his hands around the mug, bringing it to his lips. The cinnamon was stronger than he was used to, but otherwise it was perfect. The taste brought an unexpected lump of homesickness to his throat, and he lowered the mug, swallowing hard to hold back tears.

Miko loaded his plate with everything he could reach, and listened quietly as Noxx and Ruto settled into a conversation about trade regulations and conflicting schedules and recent suspicious behavior of other clans. Miko tuned out most of it, focused almost entirely on the food. It was all delicious, almost perfect. He’d missed food like this.

After dinner, Ruto and Noxx went off to put some of their agreements in writing—at least, from what Miko could gather—so Miko went off to explore the palace. He hoped he’d be able to come across the Neri already working here, but he couldn’t find them anywhere. Instead, he settled for wandering the hallways and the back gardens.

The gardens weren’t anything like the ones in Klodin. They were walled off, like the rest of the city, and perfectly symmetrical in a way that was almost eerie. There were lines of bushes and flowers, but mostly there was just stone, statues and benches and intricately-carved decorative pieces of art. A guard was stationed every few feet, silent and staring straight ahead, watching for dangers that Miko couldn’t begin to fathom.

“What do you think?” a voice said. It was loud in the silence and Miko jumped in surprise. He spun around, expecting Noxx, but Ruto was standing in front of him, smiling.

“Apologies,” Ruto said. “I didn’t meant to startle you.”

“No, it’s all right.” Miko returned the smile meekly. “I thought you were still with Noxx.”

“We’ve taken a break for the evening,” Ruto said. “I thought I’d see how you’re enjoying the grounds. I try to keep them well-kept.”

“They’re very nice,” Miko said.

Ruto approached a bush covered in roses. He removed one carefully and then began to pick thorns off it, one by one. “I have a certain appreciation for pointless beauty,” he said. “Beauty that is fleeting, and requires care and love and patience. Flowers have no real purpose—they aren’t edible, and some of them could even kill you—but they provide us with beauty when we nurture them.”

Miko gazed at the array of roses. “We never grew our own flowers in Northern Crethia,” he said. “We had to use our land for growing food.”

“Hmm,” Ruto said. “Nevertheless, nature provides its own beauty, doesn’t it? You just need to look for it.” He came closer, handing Miko the now-thornless rose. “But even nature’s beauty will dwindle if it isn’t given care and love.”

Miko smiled, took the rose. He sniffed the petals. “What did you and Noxx talk about?”

“Nothing particularly enthralling,” Ruto said, dismissive. Then, clearly trying to change the subject, “How are you faring with him and the Umbra Clan? You seem to be getting along fairly well.”

“I suppose,” Miko said. The two of them started to walk, meandering through the gardens. It was growing cool, the sun beginning to dip towards the horizon. “He’s hard to get to know. It seems like he isn’t used to building relationships with people, outside of professional ones. Nothing I try seems to make much of a difference.”

Miko broke off, embarrassed for spilling so much, but Ruto just hummed sympathetically. “He’s always been like that, Noxx,” he said. “I’m not surprised he’s having a difficult time opening up to you. It’s a shame, nevertheless.”

Miko looked over at him and frowned. “A shame?”

“Well,” Ruto said, turning to smile at him, “beauty will fade if it isn’t nurtured, hm? I’d hate to things between you go sour and stale simply because Noxx doesn’t realize what he has right in front of him.”

Miko’s face felt warm. “I’m not worried,” he said after a moment. “I came to Southern Crethia for my family and my clan. Anything else is unimportant.”

“Are you saying that you’re unimportant?”

Miko stared. He stopped walking, and faced each other, silent.

“No,” Miko stammered, “I—I just—”

Ruto chuckled. “All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t neglect your own wants or desires,” he said. “You’re allowed to have your own hopes and dreams outside your responsibilities. Perhaps you can help Noxx to see that as well.”

He reached out to squeeze Miko’s arm, and then continued through the grounds. Miko watched him go, the stem of a rose still clutched in his hand.

* * *

Miko found Noxx in their shared room upstairs a little later. Noxx had just emerged from a bath and when Miko walked in he had one towel wrapped around his waist, another in his hand to dry his hair. He looked over at the sound of the door opening and Miko froze, blinking a few times.

“I’m sorry,” Miko said, “I can come back—”

“Don’t worry.” Noxx lowered the towel to his neck. “Come in. I’m finished if you’d like to take a bath.”

Miko closed the door behind himself. He set the rose that Ruto had given him on the wardrobe beside the door. “This room is enormous,” he said. “I think it’s bigger than both of our rooms back in Klodin.”

Noxx grunted. He eyed the rose Miko had set down. “Where’d you get that?”

“Hm?” Miko followed Noxx’s gaze. “Oh. I got it from the gardens.”

“You took it? Ruto doesn’t like anyone messing with his gardens.”

“Ruto gave it to me himself,” Miko said quickly. “I didn’t steal it or anything. Don’t worry.”

Noxx relaxed a little, but continued to frown. “What is it?” Miko asked, stepping further into the room.

“Nothing.” Noxx tossed aside the towel in his hand, draping over the screen in the corner of the room. “I hope Ruto wasn’t bothering you.”

“No, not at all. He just showed me around the gardens.” Miko slipped his feet out of his sandals. “They’re a little too organized for my liking. Plants are kept in such careful, uniform rows. It was almost unnerving.”

“I suppose you wouldn’t be used to that.” Noxx reached for his sleep clothes where they rested on the mattress. “All of Rathim is like that. I warned you.”

Miko gazed curiously at the tattoos on Noxx’s skin. He’d never looked at them this close before and he was surprised how intricate they really were when he could see all the little details. “Did you get all of these at once?” Miko asked, when Noxx caught him looking. “There are so many of them.”

A ghost of a smile flickered over Noxx’s face. “No,” he said. “I got a few of them when I turned fourteen, and then a new one every year since then.”

“Are they all supposed to represent different things?”

Noxx nodded. He held out his arm, allowing Miko to inspect the markings there. “They represent different attributes Shayta—male Shayta, specifically—are supposed to exhibit by the time they are of age. This one here”—he traced his finger along the line of his bicep, where several angular lines intersected dozens of twisting black curls—“represents bravery and success in battle. When a Shaytan becomes accomplished with a sword, we’re given this tattoo. That sort of thing.”

Miko reached out tentatively, resting his fingers against Noxx’s skin to trace the lines of the tattoo he’d indicated. It was beautiful, so detailed and vivid. Miko found himself wishing he could learn to make art out of skin like this. “Where did you get your first tattoo?” he asked, raising his eyes. “When you were fourteen?”

Noxx pursed his lips, as though thinking about it. “My neck,” he said finally.

Miko’s hand flew up to cover his windpipe and he swallowed reflexively, imagining that kind of pain. Noxx chuckled at the gesture and shook his head. “Not there,” he said. He reached out and took hold of Miko’s hair, lifting it over his shoulder and letting it settle there. He rested his hand at the back of Miko’s neck, thumb dragging a line from Miko’s ear down to the edge of his shoulder. His fingers were unexpectedly calloused and shockingly warm. Miko had forgotten how warm his skin was.

“Right here,” Noxx murmured. “We apply a tattoo here that means pride. Pride in our clan, and our family, and ourselves.”

A shiver raced itself unexpectedly up Miko’s spine, and he felt his skin pebbling with goosebumps. His face went warm and he wanted to pull away, but the feeling made a home at the base of his spine, heavy and hot. He balked at the sensation, tensing at its sudden appearance and overwhelming intensity.

Noxx raised an eyebrow at him, like he could feel the way Miko’s whole body was betraying him. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Miko recognized the feeling in his gut now. In a panic, he reached out and pushed Noxx back, putting some space between them. Noxx blinked at him, confused, and Miko’s face flushed hot.

“I’m s-sorry,” Miko said. “I—um—”

He couldn’t explain. The words choked him. Noxx tilted his head, his gaze curious and a little concerned. Miko pressed his hands together, hard, clasping his fingers together.

“I’m going to take a bath,” he said, and made his escape towards the bathroom, before he could embarrass himself. When he finally emerged, half an hour later and no more calm than before, Noxx was already asleep.

* * *

Miko woke sometime in the middle of the night.

His sleep had been restless, full of disjointed dreams and confusing, unsettling shapes. When Miko awoke he thought he was still dreaming—his head was swimming and he felt hot and feverish, and it was so dark that at first all he could see was vague, dark shapes.

He blinked a few times, struggling to clear the haze from his mind, but it didn’t get any better. The heat felt more oppressive than ever and his skin was tacky with sweat. The discomfort dragged him out of his haze a little. His limbs felt heavy and uncoordinated but he tried to push himself up, and gasped.

The low ache in his body made itself known all at once, sharp and hot and overwhelming. Miko counted backwards in his head and despaired when he realized what day it was. He hadn’t planned for this. The haze in his head and the wet sticky feeling between his legs made sense now.

Miko rolled over, pushing away the oppressive sheets impatiently. He pressed his face into the pillows, shuddered. He took the fabric in between his teeth and groaned. He knew from experience that if he didn’t take care of this now, it would only grow more unbearable. But he didn’t even want to move.

The mattress shifted, then. Miko had completely forgotten about Noxx for the moment, too distracted by the frantic ache in his body. Miko caught the scent of another body beside him—warm, spicy, like cinnamon—and his body roared in approval. Miko scrabbled at the sheets, searching for the source of the warmth. “N-Noxx,” he rasped.

A hand rested on Miko’s shoulder. Even that touch against his sensitive skin made him want to cry out. “I thought so,” Noxx said, his voice rough with sleep. He was already awake, and was sitting up in bed at Miko’s side. “Miko, you should have told me.”

Miko just moaned. He shifted, reaching out blindly, his fingers catching in the fabric of Noxx’s clothes. He moved towards the warmth radiating from Noxx’s body, wondering somewhere in the back of his mind whether all Shayta radiated heat like this. His forehead pressed against something solid—Noxx’s leg, maybe—and he stayed there, breathing in the dizzying scent of cinnamon and cloves.

Noxx didn’t recoil, the way Miko had expected him to. Instead, his hand rested against Miko’s hair. His fingers just stayed there, the pressure warm and comforting and unexpectedly reassuring.

“You should leave,” Miko panted, even as he twisted his fingers even more tightly to Noxx’s clothes. “You don’t want to be around this.”

“I can’t leave you alone like this,” Noxx said. His hand smoothed down to the back of Miko’s neck, squeezing gently. Miko shuddered at even that light touch against his skin and he groaned, open-mouthed, against Noxx’s clothes. “Don’t these symptoms last for hours if you don’t alleviate them?”

Miko blinked, confused. The haze in his mind was making him feel like his senses were filled with sand. He could barely think past the steady pulse of want at the base of his gut. “You said,” Miko whispered, “you said you wouldn’t—that you didn’t want—”

“I remember what I said.” Noxx’s thumb rubbed a line back and forth against the back of Miko’s neck.

Miko raised his head. Noxx’s gaze was steady and intense and dark, and he was so close now that his scent was all Miko could focus on. It was making him crazy. “I can’t,” Miko rasped. “I can’t make you.”

Noxx studied Miko’s face for a few moments. “All right,” Noxx said. He shifted, pushing aside the sheets. “I can leave, then, if that’s what you want. I just thought I’d offer.”

Miko lurched forward, moving on instinct, and threw himself at Noxx’s retreating back before he could leave the bed. He curled his arms around Noxx’s waist, digging his fingers into the warm clothing, and buried his face into the scent of cloves and cinnamon.

“Don’t,” he moaned, his voice muffled and cracked. “Don’t leave. _Please._ ”

Noxx disentangled Miko’s fingers from his clothing. He turned so they were facing each other. “Good,” he said, his voice a rough whisper. He reached for Miko’s chin, gripping, and brought Miko’s mouth to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter things r gonna get a lil spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Thanks for reading as always! Drop a comment if you enjoyed or come chat with me at crystalflowers.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

Noxx tasted like fresh water.

He kissed differently than Miko would have expected. His jaw was rough with stubble but his mouth was oddly gentle, shockingly gentle, moving in easy rhythm as though he was letting Miko take the lead. He just cradled Miko’s head with both hands and tilted his head into the kiss, until Miko’s head was swimming even worse than before. He clung to Noxx’s shirt, pressing closer impatiently and panting with the growing arousal. 

“Slow down,” Noxx mumbled. He hooked his hand beneath Miko’s chin as he pulled away, holding Miko still. “It’s okay.”

“I can’t.” Miko’s whole body was shaking, and all he wanted was more contact, more skin, more warmth. “I can’t wait.”

Noxx considered him. He shifted and gripped Miko with both hands, moving them both. Noxx settled against the pillows and drew Miko into his lap in the same smooth movement. Miko shuddered when their bodies slotted together and Noxx pulled him in for another kiss, deeper than before. Miko moaned, leaning into Noxx’s chest.

Noxx slipped his hands beneath Miko’s clothes in search of skin, and the contact made Miko’s entire body buzz. He mewled pathetically and rolled his hips forward on instinct, and the pressure sent a shock of sensation through his system. He rolled his hips forward again and Noxx hummed, as though in approval, his hands resting at the small of Miko’s back to encourage him.

Noxx drew back. He reached up and his palm found Miko’s jaw, holding him steady while Miko panted for air. “Can I take these off?” Noxx asked, tugging lightly at Miko’s clothing.

Miko nodded frantically. His shifted to accommodate as Noxx tugged away the fabric.

The haze of arousal was too strong for Miko to be really self-conscious, but he still felt a surprising rush of warmth as Noxx gazed at him, taking in the lines of Miko’s body. Noxx traced his fingertips along Miko’s chest, his stomach, drifted them along Miko’s thighs. “Your skin is so soft,” Noxx mused, his voice quiet. “I’ve never touched a Neri like this before. Are you all this soft?”

His fingers brushed right where Miko was aching and throbbing for attention, and Miko jerked beneath it, suddenly frantic for sensation. “N-Noxx,” he gasped, “please, _please_.”

Noxx exhaled. He held Miko steady with one hand, and with the other he reached between Miko’s legs.

Miko cried out in relief at the pressure but squirmed, too sensitive. Noxx gentled his touch a little, adjusting to the sensitivity; his hand was gentle, like everything else, but even that was the edge of too much. His skin felt like it was on fire.

“Relax, Miko.” Noxx’s mouth was at Miko’s ear, breath warm and damp. Miko shuddered and tightened his grip on Noxx’s shirt.

Once Noxx found a rhythm and the right pressure, the slide was smooth and easy. It felt otherworldly, and Miko felt as though he was going to explode out of his skin. There was no feeling of relief at the contact anymore, just more heat spiraling tighter and tighter into Miko’s stomach. He bucked his hips into Noxx’s fist in frustration, and Noxx made a sound that might have been a laugh.

“You get incredibly wet,” Noxx said. “Do all Neri get like this?”

His thumb dragged circles against the head of Miko’s cock. Miko huffed in desperation, bucking his hips again. Noxx’s free hand slipped lower, rested against the small of Miko’s back, as though to calm him.

Miko reached for Noxx’s hand at his back and dragged it lower, guiding his fingers to where Miko really wanted them. “Here,” Miko rasped, pressing Noxx’s fingers to his entrance. “Please.”

Something intense flickered in Noxx’s eyes. He circled a fingertip experimentally against Miko’s entrance, teasing a little but probably also watching Miko’s face for discomfort, ascertaining this was really what he wanted. Miko huffed impatiently and rocked his hips back into the pressure, and Noxx hummed, slipping one finger inside Miko’s body.

Miko moaned his approval into Noxx’s neck, clutching at him as the sensation overwhelmed him.

Noxx muttered something, voice low, but Miko could barely make out what he was saying over the roar in his own ears. He rocked back for more, shuddering in relief, and cried out when Noxx slipped another finger into him. The pressure was perfect, exactly what Miko had been craving.

Miko’s breath came in sharp gasps and his voice was incoherent, but he was beyond caring. Noxx slid his fingers deeper and crooked them, searching, and _oh_ — _there, there_ —and Miko was crying out, the feeling inside him winding so tight he thought he was going to go insane.

“Noxx,” Miko sobbed, “I’m—I want—” He was breathing too hard to speak properly, and he struggled to find woods. “ _Please—_ ”

He rocked his hips forward, into Noxx’s. Noxx was hard beneath his clothes, the arousal clear even beneath the fabric. Noxx’s throat jumped at the contact and his gaze flickered like understood what Miko was asking. “Miko…”

“I want it,” Miko huffed. “Noxx. I want you to.”

Noxx closed his eyes briefly. “I can’t,” he said. “Miko, I can’t.”

His hand curled around Miko’s cock, stroking, long, smooth movements of his hand. Miko cried out and sensation overwhelmed him, making him dizzy. He wanted to ask again, wanted to beg, but he couldn’t find his voice.

His body unraveled all at once, everything tightening and then releasing as orgasm took him. He moaned and rocked into Noxx’s hand as he spilled, pulses of pleasure throbbing through him over and over. With it, finally, came relief. He slumped afterwards, shaking.

Noxx held him there, his hand in Miko’s hair. He mumbled something, but Miko’s eyes were already closing and he couldn’t hear through the buzz of leftover pleasure in his ears. The last thing he remembered before drifting off was the feeling of someone shifting him, a soft pillow underneath his head.

* * *

Miko woke to bright morning light and an empty bed.

It was a warm morning, promising even greater heat later on, and the sheets draped over Miko’s body were unpleasantly stifling. He pushed them away and sat up, realizing only once the fabric was gone that he was still naked.

Miko’s face went hot as he recalled the previous night. Noxx had been so kind to him, gentle and attentive.

Miko still felt uncomfortably sticky, from both the morning air and the activities the night before, so he bathed first, washing off all evidence of what had happened. He dressed and then, gathering his courage, left the room in search of Noxx and Ruto.

He found them both sitting in Ruto’s dining space, drinking tea and eating fresh fruit as they chatted. Ruto looked over first at the sound of Miko’s footsteps, and smiled in greeting. “Miko, good morning,” he said. “Please, sit and join us. I trust you slept well?”

“Yes,” Miko said. “Thank you.” He settled beside Noxx at the table. “This looks delicious.”

“Help yourself. I’ll have a cup of tea brought out for you.”

Miko stayed quiet throughout breakfast, listening vaguely as Noxx and Ruto talked. Noxx had barely glanced at him a couple times and Miko wanted desperately to ask him about the previous night, worried now that Noxx was upset about all of it. Instead, Miko occupied himself with food and drink, and fought to act normally. The last thing he wanted was Ruto asking questions.

Miko didn’t get a chance to even broach the subject for the rest of the day. Feeling restless as usual, he got out of the palace and went walking through the city, exploring a little.

It grew hot as he walked, and unpleasant. This city felt enormous, and somehow clustered at the same time, in a way that made it seem to press in around him, suffocating him. He passed by a market but it was full of dull faces and dark colors, none of the beautiful tapestries and colors he was used to from Klodin.

He bought some fried bananas and nuts with a few pieces of extra silver, and headed back to the palace. The one nice thing about being here was that he didn’t feel quite as scrutinized. Neri didn’t stand out quite as much, and so nobody stared at him in public the way people did in Klodin. It was a welcome relief.

Miko returned by late afternoon, and two Shayta guards at the door came to meet him immediately. “Are you hurt?” one of them asked immediately. “We’ve been looking for you all afternoon, we thought something had happened.”

“Huh?” Miko said, blinking. “I just went for a walk.”

“You can’t just walk off without an escort,” the other guard said. “It’s an unfamiliar city, and you could have been targeted.”

“All right, all right, I’m sorry,” Miko said, raising his hands. “But I’m fine.”

Noxx had apparently been the one to raise the alarm; he ran to meet Miko on the second floor, a furious look on his face. “Miko, what were you thinking?” he snapped, when Miko was close enough to hear. “You just went off into town without telling any of the guards?”

“Yes,” Miko said, a little defiantly. “I didn’t think it would be a problem. I’m not a child.”

“No, but you’re part of the most powerful Shayta clan in all of Southern Crethia.” Noxx stopped in front of him and reached for Miko’s shoulders, squeezing with both hands. “I told you to be wary out here. Rathim isn’t like Klodin. You didn’t even think about telling me before you went wandering off?”

Miko tilted his head, raising his eyebrows. “You were worried about me?” he said.

Noxx blinked. He lowered his hands and sighed in apparent frustration. “Miko, whatever happens to you reflects back on myself and my clan,” Noxx said. “This marriage isn’t going to be beneficial for either of us if it ends with you dead.”

Miko tensed. “Is that really all I mean to you?” he said. “Even now?”

Noxx raised his eyes to the ceiling. He reached up to yank a hand through his hair. “Miko, you knew what this was going into it.”

“Yes, but…” Miko hesitated. His face felt warm. “Even after…after we…”

“Nothing has changed,” Noxx said. His gaze was hard. “I should have been clear about that. This marriage is still just a political agreement.”

“I know that,” Miko said. “But it wouldn’t kill to just—just _try_ , would it? Try and show an emotion once in a while? It’s like you’re terrified to open up to me.”

“I don’t have any obligation to give you the emotional support you want,” Noxx said. “I have a responsibility to my clan, Miko. My people come before anything else. I can’t withdraw from that just because you feel lonely. You understand that, right?”

Miko bristled, lowered his gaze. The afternoon sunlight reflected off the tile flooring, and it made his eyes hurt. “I understand,” he muttered.

“Miko…”

“I do understand, Noxx.” Miko turned his gaze out the window, unwilling to look directly in Noxx’s direction. “Really. It’ll just take me some time to come to terms with it, okay?”

Noxx sighed quietly. They were both silent for a long few moments.

“Just be more careful next time,” Noxx said. “If you’re going to wander in an unfamiliar city, bring a guard with you.”

Miko nodded dully. He stayed where he was, keeping his eyes out the window while Noxx walked past him, his footsteps fading.

* * *

Ruto found Miko later in the evening, while he was preparing to leave. He knocked at the doorway of Miko’s room and smiled, held up something Miko couldn’t quite make out. “I brought you a gift to take back with you,” Ruto said, entering the room. “Seed packets. So you can grow your own flowers back in Klodin.”

“Oh,” Miko breathed, eyes widening. He set down the clothes he’d been folding and came over. “Really? For me?”

“For you.” Ruto took Miko’s hand, pressed the seed packets into his palm. “Grow something beautiful to decorate your new home.”

Miko’s throat felt tight at the gesture. He curled his fingers around the seeds and pressed them into his chest. “Thank you,” he said.

Ruto smiled. He leaned back against the bedroom’s wardrobe, his hands braced against the edge of the wood. “Noxx seemed agitated, last I saw him,” he said. “I don’t mean to pry, but is everything all right? I thought I heard arguing earlier.”

Miko lowered his gaze, embarrassed. “It was nothing,” he said. “I’m sorry. I hope we didn’t disturb you or anything.”

“No, not at all. I was just concerned, that’s all.” Ruto’s gaze was sympathetic. “I know things have been challenging between you two.”

“It’s fine, really,” Miko said. “It was my fault. I just…I wish…”

He broke off. He wasn’t sure what he wanted so badly. It was all so frustrating.

“You deserve someone who will meet your needs,” Ruto said quietly, when Miko stayed silent for a few minutes. “I hope I’m not overstepping by saying that. You’re allowed to want something more.”

Miko nodded, but it felt selfish, hoping for something more than he’d gotten. He hadn’t joined this marriage for himself, after all. It wasn’t supposed to matter what he wanted. He was supposed to be quiet and live his life and accept his choice. Only a few weeks in, and he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to manage that.

“Thank you, Ruto,” Miko said. “I appreciate you saying that.”

“Well, I mean it.” Ruto straightened and came closer. He reached for Miko’s free hand, the one not holding the seeds, and squeezed it gently. “I know you must leave.”

Miko smiled. “I appreciate your hospitality,” he said. “I like being able to see new parts of Southern Crethia.”

“I do hope you’ll visit again, very soon.” Ruto squeezed Miko’s hand again, his gaze more intense than before. He returned Miko’s smile, lips curving up at the corners. “I’ll be looking forward to that day.”

* * *

Less than an hour from Klodin, the carriage broke down.

They pulled over off the road, and climbed out to inspect the damage. “Can you fix it?” Noxx said, as the guards gazed with despair at the broken wheel. “I need to be back in Klodin by morning.”

“We will try,” one of the guards said. “But it might be safer to spend the night here. I wouldn’t want either of you being injured if the cart breaks apart mid-journey.”

Noxx didn’t seem pleased, but he agreed to make camp for the night. They laid out some extra blankets under a tree and made a small fire to keep warm, and sat in miserable silence while the guards attempted to fix the carriage without much success.

“Why do you need to be back in Klodin by morning?” Miko asked, gazing at Noxx across the fire. He curled his arms around his legs. “Are you meeting with someone?”

Noxx nodded. “Another clan leader,” he said. “A small clan, but it would be rude to abandon the meeting.”

“We’ll make it. We could just walk.”

“It will take too long.” Noxx sighed and stretched out on his back. “Get some sleep, Miko. We’re going to be here a while.”

Miko wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep. His mind was moving too quickly. He rested his chin on his arms and watched the fire dance. “Did you never want to marry?” Miko asked softly, a few moments later. “Was this ever something you actually wanted?”

Noxx sighed in exasperation. He rubbed at his eyes. “Miko,” he groaned. “Can we please talk about this later?”

“We might as well talk about it now.”

Noxx’s eyes cracked open, staring at the treetops. He blinked a few times, breathing slowly. “No,” he said finally. “I never cared about getting married. It wasn’t something I ever thought about at all, really.”

Miko pursed his lips, his gaze still fixed on the fire. “Do you regret it?” he asked.

Noxx’s eyes slid closed again. “No,” he said. “I don’t. Now will you please let me sleep?”

Miko fell quiet. He curled his arms more tightly around his knees.

Noxx drifted off quickly, but Miko stayed awake, watching the fire die down. He stretched out on the grass and tried to sleep, but his mind refused to let him. He tossed and turned on the uncomfortable ground, and his skin itched with more restlessness. The guards had gone quiet, evidently having given up on the carriage.

Miko pushed aside the blanket he’d had over his legs, sitting up. He glanced over at Noxx briefly, making sure he was asleep, and then stood, making his way away from the campsite.

A five minute walk away from the carriage was a small stream. Miko knelt at the edge of the water and cupped it in his hands, splashing his face with it. The cold refreshed him, eased the restlessness in his limbs somehow. He sighed and dangled his toes in the water, wishing he could just throw his whole body into the stream and lie there, submerged, forever.

He felt stupid, for expecting this would be anything else than it was. He’d come into Southern Crethia with clear expectations, and somehow he’d let himself hope beyond that. He was naïve, and a fool, and he was tired. It felt so pointless, trying to find pockets of hope in an otherwise black-and-white situation.

Footsteps behind him made him tense. He rose to his feet, expecting Noxx, but when he turned there was no one there.

Miko blinked a few times, sure he’d heard footsteps. He frowned and turned back to the water, but still, no one came out of the darkness to face him. Miko curled his arms around himself and, shivering, headed back for the comforting light of the fire.

He never made it there.

An arm, rock-solid, caught him around the waist before he’d taken three steps. Miko made to cry out, but another hand covered his mouth, muffling his voice. Miko fought, but the grip was solid and firm and much, much too strong for him to ever get free. Panic surged through Miko’s limbs, the first real fear he’d felt in a long time.

“Shh,” a voice hissed in his ear. Something pressed into his stomach—the edge of a knife. “Don’t move, or your blood will spill all over the grass.”

Miko went still, his heart beating in his eardrums. That voice was the voice of one of the guards.

“I’m very sorry, Miko,” the guard said. “But I’m under orders from Eero Ruto. Please don’t fight back and make this worse than it needs to be.”

More terror, spiking under Miko’s skin like a thousand needles. The name _Ruto_ echoed through his head in disbelief, and a swell of betrayal tightened his throat, a foolish emotion considering his current situation.

He didn’t have time to even try and fight back. The hand left his mouth and the moment he’d drawn air to scream, something hard hit his head, sweeping his entire world black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for reading! <3  
> Come find me at crystalflowers.tumblr.com if you like :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a quick warning: there is a little violence in this chapter, in case that bothers you. Nothing gory or anything, just some blood.
> 
> Thank you as always for reading! Drop a comment with your thoughts, I love hearing from you <3

Miko’s head throbbed as he came to.

He was lying on something hard and cold. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut against the pain as it pounded in his temples. His whole body felt that soreness; it ached in his legs and his arms and his neck. Memory was fuzzy at first.

He cracked his eyes open. He was in a circular stone room, its walls worn with age. On one side of the room was a window that looked out into open air, though Miko couldn’t see much outside it, just blue sky. He was lying on an imitation of a bed, just a few blankets and an old pillow. 

He pushed himself into a sitting position, and something clinked musically with the movement. He shifted his leg and discovered that his ankle was connected to the wall by a thick black chain. He tugged on it experimentally, and it held fast.

Memory returned, then. The guard, grabbing him, knocking him out.  _ Ruto _ . Terror rose in Miko’s throat, coating his insides with something harsh and bitter.

Miko crawled over to the small, barred window and used it to drag himself to his feet. Outside the window were clusters of  closely-packed gray buildings. He was high in the air, in a tower or something. And he was back in  Rathim.

He didn’t have time to wonder how long he’d been  here, or begin to formulate an escape plan. The heavy wooden door at the edge of the room opened, and Miko spun around, pressing himself against the wall. Two Luvon Clan guards  stood in the doorway, holding spears. They were expressionless, but their postures were tense, clearly hostile.

“We’ve been ordered to take you to Ruto,” one of them said.

“What am I doing here?” Miko demanded. He pressed himself harder against the wall. “Why did you bring me here?”

“Ruto will explain everything,” the other guard said. “It will be much easier if you simply come with us. We don’t want to hurt you, but if you  resist we will use force.”

Miko swallowed. He spent another few moments  in silence, flickering his gaze between them, one guard to the other. Finally, he straightened off the wall, nodded.

The guards unclipped the chain on his leg but locked his wrists at the small of his back instead. They led him out the door to his room and down a flight of spiraling stairs, and then through the palace into the great hall. From there, the guards continued walking, until they reached a spacious living area.

Ruto was seated on a long couch, lounging with a book in his lap. He looked up when Miko entered with the two guards , and he smiled, an apologetic expression. “Hello, Miko,” he said.

Miko paused a few feet from the couch, the guards flanking him at both sides. Miko felt uncomfortably vulnerable, his hands chained at his back, nobody here but the guards and Ruto. Miko could feel himself trembling and he fought to stay calm. The last thing he wanted to do right now was show weakness.

“I apologize for dragging you back here under these circumstances,” Ruto said. “I’m sure it was very unpleasant and disorienting. I didn’t wish to cause you pain.”

Miko clenched his teeth. He didn’t trust anything out of Ruto’s mouth anymore. “That guard,” he said. “He worked for  you? He was part of the Luvon Clan?”

“No, no,” Ruto said. “The Umbra Clan isn’t foolish enough to let one of my clan in its ranks. He was Umbra. I simply had a bit of leverage on him. It was an exchange of services.”

Miko swallowed, hard. “And Noxx?” he said. “Where is he?”

“I’m not sure,” Ruto said. “My instructions were for you, not him. I needed something to hold against Noxx and his clan, and you were a valuable asset to them.” Ruto leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His gaze had turned apologetic again. “I truly am sorry that this is the way it had to go. I wish there was another way, but there simply isn’t.”

“What are you hoping will happen?” Miko said, bewildered. “What do you want from the Umbra Clan?”

“I have a few demands, in fact,” Ruto said with a pleasant smile. “The Umbra Clan has developed quite the monopoly on land and trade routes, and their power has begun to grow out of control. It needs to be put in its place.”

“You really think they’ll do what you want just because of me?”

“Like I said, you’re quite valuable.” Ruto tapped his fingertips together, smiled warmly. “Your stay here can be pleasant, if you decide you’d like it to be. I’m even willing to move you into a nicer room, give you lovely food—the works. Like I said, I don’t want to cause you any pain.”

Miko clenched his jaw. He’d never felt truly angry like this. It coursed through him in waves, one after another, until his vision turned red. “Too late for that,” Miko said. “You want me to just sit quietly and wait for you to steal everything from the Umbra Clan?” He yanked at the chains pinning his arms, and they rattled loudly. “Noxx was right about you. I should never have come here in the first  place, I never should have had anything to do with you.  _ Curse  _ you.”

Ruto gazed at him evenly.  He stroked his chin for a long moment, as though in thought. He gestured with a small nod and a flick of his fingers to one of the guards.

Miko yelped as he was shoved forcefully to his knees by a pair of hands. One of them gripped his hair, tight enough to make his eyes water, and the other pressed the point of his spear to Miko’s neck. Miko struggled against the  grip, but went still when the spear pressed harder against his skin.

“I’ll say this again,” Ruto said. “Your stay here can be a pleasant experience, or a very unpleasant one. It is entirely your choice.”

“And I’ll say it again too,” Miko rasped. He spat on the ground. “Curse you.”

Ruto’s expression darkened. He nodded again at the guards.

The first blow came to the back of Miko’s head, and it aggravated the injury already there, sending his vision blurring and spinning. Before he could recover from that, something else slammed into his ribs,  _ hard _ , like a rod made of metal. Miko’s body buckled and he fell towards the ground, coughing raggedly and wheezing for breath, blinded with pain. He nearly lost consciousness again.

A hand gripped his hair once more, yanking him back. Something slammed across his face, sending more pain exploding through his nose and his jaw. Blood, hot and wet, dripped down his face and off his chin.

Ruto smiled pleasantly. “Bring him back to his room, please,” he said.

Hands yanked Miko to his feet. They dragged him out of the living room and back towards his cell.

* * *

Miko spent a miserable day and night alone in his room.

He tried to sleep, but the ground was too hard, too cold, and he was in too much pain. He tried to pry the bars off the tiny window, but there was no way they’d come loose. The door was too solid, as well, not yielding to any of the attempts Miko made to break it down. Miko screamed out the window until his voice was hoarse, but either nobody heard him or nobody cared.

Defeated, he settled against one of the walls and tended to his wounds as best he could. It hurt to breathe deeply—one or two of his ribs were probably cracked—but his face might have been the worst. His nose was swollen and tender to the touch and the blood had congealed inside it, making drawing in air even more difficult. His face throbbed with every single beat of his heart.

The next morning came, and Miko was still alone. He wondered if Noxx even cared enough to come and help. A political agreement—even a valuable one—probably wasn’t enough to drag Noxx here. Miko might end up dying in this room, alone and in pain, and his family would never know about it. The thought of that might actually hurt the most, more than the broken ribs or the head injury or the swelling on his face.

Ruto came to see him sometime in the evening, after Miko had lost track of the hours. He had a tray of food with him and it looked like he was alone, but Miko figured he was probably keeping guards stationed outside just in case.

Miko pressed himself as far from the door as possible. His leg was chained to the wall  again but he still could move throughout most of the room. He eyed Ruto warily, watching as he placed the tray down on the ground. It smelled good, fish and lemon and fresh bread, and Miko’s stomach growled ferociously.

Ruto smiled, as though he’d heard. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” he said. He gestured to the tray. “Please. Eat. You must be hungry.”

Miko didn’t move. Ruto tiled his head, leaning against the wall beside the door.

“I haven’t poisoned it,” Ruto said. “I promise.”

That wasn’t reassuring, but Miko  _ was  _ hungry. “Unchain me first,” Miko said. Ruto raised his eyebrows. “Please? It’s…you’re treating me like an animal. You think I’m getting past a Shaytan with these injuries?”

Ruto considered him. “All right,” he said finally. He undid the chain, unclipping it from Miko’s ankle. 

Miko dove for the tray of food. There was a fork on the tray, but he ignored it and instead dug in with his bare hands, barely tasting any of it. 

“I brought some of your favorites,” Ruto said. “I remember you enjoying the fish quite a lot.”

Miko ignored him. He shoveled the rest of the food into his mouth and then gulped down the cup of water next to it. “How much longer are you going to keep me here?” he asked when he was finished.

“I suppose that depends on Noxx and his clan,” Ruto said. “I’m sure by now he’s figured out where you are. How long it will take him to come and face me, well, that remains to be seen. I suppose it depends on how much he cares for you.”

Miko cast him a dry look. “Don’t hold your breath,” he said. “You know as well as I do that our partnership is just a political arrangement.”

Ruto chuckled. “You’d be surprised,” he said. “You haven’t known Noxx as long as I have. I imagine he’ll be quite upset. ”

Miko narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?”

Ruto chuckled. “I suppose he never told you about his first attempt at marriage a few years ago,” he said. “Never mind. I’m sure you’ll find out eventually. In any case, he’ll be here. I’m certain.”

Miko wished he felt that sure. He curled his hand around the handle of his fork, rubbing his thumb against the metal. “And you’re just going to keep me here until then?”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s not ideal.”

Miko swallowed. He stood unsteadily, taking his fork with him and holding it loosely at his side. “Were you hoping that your clan would be the one to form a connection with Northern Crethia?” he asked. He stepped a little closer. “Would you have married me instead, if you’d thought of it first?”

“Who says I didn’t?” Ruto said. “Maybe that’s just another reason the Umbra Clan has created a monopoly in Southern Crethia.”

Miko stepped closer again. “So why didn’t you make an offer?” he said. “I only got one from Noxx. Never from you.”

“We were biding our time,” Ruto said. “It was a foolish mistake. I won’t make it again.” He smiled. “Are you regretting your choices now?”

“Not yet.” Miko clenched his hand around the fork. “We’ll see.”

He lunged forward, stabbing the fork into Ruto’s arm as hard as he could. Ruto shouted in pain, staggering backwards into the wall, blood welling up on his cloak. He made a grab for Miko, but Miko was already ducking out the door.

He’d been right about the guards outside the door, but he was ready for them. He ducked underneath one spear and rolled past another, and then bolted down the stairs as hard as he could. He didn’t know the palace well at this  point but he knew enough to race towards the great hall, his head pounding and his lungs aching.

He didn’t even make it out the door. Something seemed to catch him around the ankles, throwing him facedown onto the floor. He skidded to a stop and tried to scramble to his feet, but he wasn’t fast enough. A hand gripped him, lifting him to his feet by the collar of his tunic.

Miko winced as he was shoved back against the wall of the great hall. Ruto’s face came into focus in front of him, and it was different, his eyes glowing bright gold. Shayta only looked like that when they’d activated their powers. A lash of fear rippled up Miko’s spine.

Ruto curled his hand around Miko’s throat, not tight enough to hurt but enough to show he was in control. “That was a cute stunt you pulled,” Ruto said. His voice was different too, sharper, resonating, like it was filling the room, echoing. Like there were two of him speaking at once. “But you didn’t really think you could outrun a Shaytan, did you?”

“Let go—” Miko struggled, and Ruto tightened his grip, pressing his fingers into Miko’s throat until Miko’s voice choked off. 

Ruto’s free hand pressed against Miko’s chest and dug into his cracked ribs. Miko gave a strangled yell of pain and struggled harder, but Ruto only tightened his grip. “You Neri,” Ruto hissed, “you’re so weak. It’s fascinating to me, how you fight when there’s no chance you’ll survive.”

Ruto dug his fingers harder into Miko’s ribs. The room filled with a horrible, high-pitched sound. Vaguely, Miko thought maybe it was him, screaming. 

The pain eased, then. Ruto’s hands vanished and Miko slumped to the ground, wheezing, gasping for breath. “Take him back, please,” Ruto said, and more hands, guards’ hands, lifted Miko back to his feet. He didn’t bother trying to resist.

* * *

Miko lost track of time.

He drifted in and out of sleep. Ruto didn’t come to visit him again, but he awoke to food again once, a piece of bread and some fruit. No more fish. Miko had clearly angered Ruto too badly for more fish.

The pain just kept going now, dull and throbbing, never fading. The worst pain Miko remembered was when he’d injured his leg as a child, a clean break that had healed itself in a few weeks, but that had been so fleeting, brief and more shocking than anything. This, he was starting to feel like it would never end at all.

Another night passed. Miko stopped trying to break his way out of his room and curled up on his makeshift bed, and didn’t move. He kept his eyes closed and sang softly to himself, mumbling the words of the healing song his mother had used to help him sleep when he was a child. The same song she’d sung him when he broke his leg. It didn’t heal him of his pain, the way it had when she would sing it, but it comforted him.

When  acommotion started inside the palace—breaking stone, shouting voices, the clang of metal on metal—Miko thought he was imagining things at first. He cracked his eyes open and listened, hard. There were voices, growing louder. Dozens of them. Miko definitely wasn’t imagining them.

He tried to sit up, winced as his ribs protested. He leaned his back against the wall, huffed with the effort. He wanted to get up and pound on the door and demand what was going on. He wasn’t even sure his legs would work if he tried to stand up.

There were footsteps ascending the stairs, then. Miko tensed, eyes blowing wide, sure it was Ruto or one of his guards. Instead, when the door swung open, it was Noxx, illuminated by the  candlelight from the hallway, a long, slender sword gripped in one hand.


	7. Chapter 7

“Noxx,” Miko gasped, voice choked in shock.

Noxx’s face flooded with relief. He stepped inside and crossed the room, kneeling at Miko’s side. His sword clattered to the ground and he reached instead for the chain latched to Miko’s leg, grimacing when he saw how secure it was. Miko watched, bemused, not fully believing he was real.

“You’re here,” he whispered. “Are you really here?”

Noxx looked up at him, pausing in his efforts for a moment. Pain flashed across his face. “I’m sorry it took so long, Miko,” he said quietly. “I’ll explain everything. First we need to get you out of here. Just hang in there.” He tugged at the chain and gritted his teeth. “Damn. This is rock-solid.”

Miko glanced down at his ankle. The chain had dug in harshly, reddening and swelling wherever it touched. Miko winced as the metal rubbed against the inflamed skin. “Where’s Ruto?” he asked.

“It’s under control,” Noxx said. “My guards have him. Don’t worry about him.” He curled his hand around the metal, right where it clamped around Miko’s ankle. His features twisted with fury. “Using you as bait…he’s never sunk so low before.”

The metal grew hot under Noxx’s hand. Noxx’s eyes glowed briefly and the metal broke down the middle, clattering to the ground. Noxx’s features twisted again when he saw the swelling beneath, with guilt this time rather than anger.

“Can you walk?” Noxx asked, withdrawing his hands. He reached for his sword, sliding it onto a holster over his shoulder. “Ruto will have called his entire guard by now. We might not have enough to fight back if he does.”

“What do you mean? You brought Umbra guards, right?”

Noxx sighed. “Yes,” he said, “but I wasn’t able to convince many to come.”

“Convince?”

“I had to fight against my father just to persuade him you were worth saving,” Noxx said, his brow furrowing with anger again. “He thought we should just cut our losses and find a new Neri to make connections with. I had to appeal directly to the guards to convince them to follow me here.”

Miko stared at him, unexpectedly touched. Noxx had gone against his own father just to rescue Miko from here. The thought of it made Miko’s throat very tight.

“Come on,” Noxx said, unaware. He reached down to slip his arm around Miko’s waist. “Let’s get out of here.”

Miko cried out in pain as Noxx tried to pull him to his feet, and Noxx paused, eyes widening. “Miko?”

“I’m okay,” Miko panted. He leveraged his legs beneath himself. They felt like gelatin.

“Where are you hurt?” Noxx asked.

“Ribs,” Miko gasped. “Right side. Broken, maybe.”

Noxx gripped Miko’s shoulders to hold him steady and then knelt back down. He pushed aside Miko’s clothing to look at his torso, and his eyes blew wide. Miko could see it too, the purple-and-black bruising across his skin. It made him wince just looking at it.

“Oh,” Noxx breathed. “Miko.”

There was a heaviness in his voice again, like guilt. It made Miko’s throat tighten again.

Noxx straightened. Miko gasped as Noxx lifted him off his feet in one smooth movement. Noxx cradled him against his chest, as though Miko weighed absolutely nothing. “I’m getting you out of here,” Noxx said, and his voice had gone hard again. “And then I’m going to kill Ruto myself.”

* * *

Noxx was right about Ruto calling the entire guard.

They’d barely escaped the tower when they were surrounded, still on the top floor of the palace. Noxx paused, Miko still cradled in his arms, and his shoulders tensed at the sight of a dozen spears pointed in their direction. He gripped Miko more tightly.

“Noxx,” Miko whispered. He twisted his fingers into Noxx’s clothing. “What now?”

Noxx sighed. “I didn’t want to have to,” he said. “But I think I’m going to have to activate my abilities to get past them.”

He shifted, setting Miko carefully on the ground. Miko bit back a groan of pain, but his legs supported him. “Noxx, what are you going to do?”

“I need you to stay back, Miko,” Noxx said. “Promise me you’ll keep your distance.”

Miko didn’t really have a choice. Nervous, he stepped away until his back pressed against the wall of the hallway. He watched, silent, as Noxx withdrew his sword from its holster.

Miko had never seen a Shaytan fully activate their abilities before. It happened all at once; a fiery glow lit itself around Noxx’s body, like it was coming directly from beneath his skin. His eyes glowed along with it, going a blinding white and gold. The guards backed away a little in fright, raising their spears. Noxx lifted his sword in response, tightening his grip on it. The light around him burned brighter.

It took mere seconds, once Noxx had activated his powers. He moved so swiftly he blurred, fiery light trailing behind him as he sped towards the guards. There were yells as the guards tried to dive out of the way, but Noxx was far too quick for them. He brought one hand up, palm forward, and a blast of pure energy swept outward from his body.

The guards were thrown off their feet. A couple of them slammed directly into the walls, losing consciousness immediately. The rest climbed to their feet, prepared to fight back, but Noxx was too fast for them again. He knocked down two of them in less than a second and then swung his sword at a third, creating a deep wound in his leg. That guard didn’t even cry out in pain, just fell to the ground, eyes wide as though in abject shock.

Noxx knelt, pressing his palm against the floor. Another blast of light swept out around him in a perfect circle. The last few guards were caught in the circle and their bodies froze, as though they’d been shocked. They collapsed on the ground, unconscious, and the hall was silent.

Noxx straightened. The light around him died. Miko couldn’t see his face at first; he sat, crouched against the wall, watching as Noxx returned his sword to its holster. He didn’t even seem to be out of breath.

Finally, Noxx turned back around. Miko tensed briefly, but he relaxed when he saw that Noxx’s face had returned to normal.

Noxx approached him slowly. He knelt in front of Miko but kept his distance, staying a foot away. His gaze was wary. “Are you all right?” Noxx asked.

Miko’s mouth felt dry. He swallowed and tried to answer, but nothing came out.

“I didn’t want to frighten you,” Noxx said. “We don’t show our true nature outside of other Shayta. I know it’s alarming, but I promise, I was fully in control.”

Miko let out a breath. “I wasn’t afraid,” he said. “I was just surprised. There’s so much power within you, and you’re hiding it all the time.”

Noxx seemed to relax a little. “It can get out of hand, so we don’t use it unless it’s necessary.” He moved closer, reaching out. “Come. My guards are stationed in the great hall.”

Miko had regained enough strength to walk, so he stumbled after Noxx down the stairs, shuffling one step at a time. Noxx offered to carry him the rest of the way, but Miko refused. He’d spent so long feeling weak, and he was tired of it. Noxx didn’t push him on it, just walked beside him silently, a hand at the small of Miko’s back to catch him if he fell.

They arrived in the great hall, where Noxx’s guards had subdued every one of Ruto’s. Ruto himself was pinned on his knees by two Umbra guards, his arms gripped tightly and two spears set against his throat. Ruto was fighting against them, his teeth bared in a violent grimace. Light was flaring from the tips of his toes and from his eyes, similar to the fire that had glowed from inside Noxx’s skin. But it was as though something was holding it back, restraining it.

“Enchanted metal,” Noxx muttered to Miko as explanation, and Miko caught sight of the chains around Ruto’s wrists. “Locks down a Shaytan’s abilities.”

Ruto snarled. He looked almost inhuman, none of the grace and charming politeness he’d boasted before. Miko moved closer to Noxx’s side as they paused in the great hallway, and Ruto glared at both of them.

“Your chokehold on Southern Crethia won’t last forever,” Ruto spat. He bared his teeth in a poor imitation of a grin, his eyes wild and spittle flying from his mouth. “I will find a way to tear your precious land from your fingers if it’s the last thing I do.” He yanked at the arms holding him, but they held fast. “I’ll kill every last one of your family members when I do. I’ll make you watch while I rip Miko apart piece by piece.”

Noxx’s gaze remained steady, but his hands flexed at his sides. “I will let you live, this time and this time only,” Noxx said. “Because of what you’ve done for my clan in the past. But if I ever see you within Klodin’s borders, or any of your Luvon Shayta, I will kill you myself.” His expression hardened. “And if you ever so much as come within a mile of Miko again, you’re the one who will be torn apart.”

Ruto laughed sharply, like the bark of a dog. The chains clanked as he yanked at them. “You can’t stop me!” he said. “I know your weakness now. I know you’re not the powerful leader you pretend to be. I’ll come for you again, and this time you will _suffer!_ ”

Noxx gazed at him for a moment, silent. He didn’t reply, instead just turned his attention to the two guards holding Ruto down. “Keep a close eye on him for the next few hours,” he said to them. “That should give us enough time to return to Klodin and make sure Miko is safe.”

The guards nodded at him. Noxx slipped his arm around Miko’s shoulders, guiding him towards the doors.

Miko wasn’t sure whether it was the relief, or the exhaustion, or the pain, or some combination—but the moment he stepped outside the palace, barely a few feet away from the doors, his legs finally gave out on him. He braced himself for the pain of his head cracking against the stone ground, but a pair of arms caught him, holding him up.

“Miko,” Noxx’s voice said, alarmed. He cradled Miko against his chest, but even the gentle press of his hand against Miko’s ribs made him moan in pain. It was like Miko’s body had given out on him. His vision was swimming.

“Miko, hang in there,” Noxx said, his voice tight with panic. “I’ve got you.”

He called to the guards for assistance. Miko moaned again as he was lifted into the air, even though Noxx was clearly trying to be gentle. “Just rest,” Noxx murmured. “I’m going to get you home.”

Miko let his eyes slip closed. The word _home_ echoed through his mind, comforting him. He was going home.

* * *

When Miko awoke he felt as though he’d been trampled by a hoard of lions.

Soft blankets covered his chest and his lower body. He was lying on something soft, his head cradled by a thick pillow. Sunlight was slanting across his face and he squeezed his eyes shut against it, desperately wishing to go back to sleep. He shifted a little beneath the blankets and groaned, low and pained, when muscles all through his body protested.

“Miko?”

A hand rested on his arm, warm and solid. A thumb stroked along the inside of his forearm, against the skin of his elbow. Miko recognized that voice, and that touch, too. He cracked his eyes open with some effort, squinting through a haze at the figure next to him.

He was back in his bedroom in Klodin, and Noxx was sitting beside him at the edge of the mattress. Noxx smiled when he saw Miko awake, a real smile, the first genuine smile Miko had maybe ever seen on him. “Thank the Gods you’re awake,” Noxx said. “You were asleep for such a long time.”

Miko wet his lips. He tried to speak but his throat was so dry.

“Here,” Noxx said. He reached for a cup of water on Miko’s side table. Miko tried to push himself up to drink, but his ribs pulled sharply at the movement and he gave a ragged cry of pain instead, his head falling back onto the pillow.

Noxx squeezed his arm. “Don’t try and move,” he said. “You have two cracked ribs, Miko. You’re going to need to stay still to let them heal.”

Miko panted through his teeth as the pain abated. He let Noxx help him drink the second time, struggling to stay still while he swallowed. The water helped him feel stronger, calmer. He sighed as Noxx set the cup aside, and his voice came out clearer when he tried to speak again. “What happened? How long have I been…?”

“We arrived back in Klodin yesterday,” Noxx said. “You’ve been asleep all night and all day today. Our healers told me you were fine, just dehydrated and sleep deprived. But your injuries weren’t life-threatening.”

“Mm. Good.” Miko blinked slowly. “What are the injuries?”

“Two cracked ribs, like I said,” Noxx explained, “but your nose isn’t broken, so that’s a relief. Some bruising to your face and your neck, that may take a little while to heal. Possibly a mild concussion, though it looks like most of the injury to your head was external. Your skull is intact as well.”

Well. No wonder Miko’s body hurt so much, then.

“The worst part to heal is going to be your ribs,” Noxx said. “If you don’t take deep breaths, you could develop pneumonia. It’ll be painful to breathe like that, but you’re going to have to try.”

Miko nodded. He reached out and caught Noxx’s hand on impulse, squeezing gently. It wasn’t a common gesture here, and Noxx blinked in surprise at the contact but didn’t pull away. “Thank you,” Miko whispered. “I wasn’t sure if you would come. But you did.”

Noxx stared at him. “You thought I wouldn’t come?”

“You were upset with me. Besides, this is just a political arrangement. If you came, I figured it would be in a few weeks. You arrived much sooner than I expected.”

“Miko…” Noxx’s mouth twisted. He gazed over Miko’s head out the window, but didn’t let go of his hand. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I was.”

“It’s all right.”

Noxx closed his eyes. He tightened his grip on Miko’s hand, hand flexing. When he opened his eyes again, his expression was calmer. “I’m sorry I allowed this to happen to you,” he said. “I promise I’ll keep you safe from here on.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Miko said. “You didn’t ask Ruto to attack me.”

“I should have been more careful.”

Miko smiled. “You did warn me that I might be targeted,” he said. “I didn’t listen. If anything, this was my fault.”

Noxx gave a low chuckle. “It doesn’t matter either way,” he said. “Like I said, it won’t happen again. I won’t let any other clans near you.” He cleared his throat. “And, I’ve asked my father to take over my duties for the next several weeks. I want to be able to help while you recover.”

“Oh,” Miko said softly. He smiled. “You don’t have to do that, Noxx.”

“I know.” Noxx shrugged. He pulled his hand free from Miko’s, but rested it against Miko’s leg instead. “I’d like to.”

His hand was warm through the sheets. Miko had missed being touched gently by someone else. It made him feel calm, distracting him from the pain for a brief moment.

“I’ll get you something for the pain,” Noxx said, pushing himself to his feet. “Just rest. I’ll be right back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading! Sorry the chapter ended up being a bit shorter than usual.  
> Feel free to get in touch with me on tumblr! crystalflowers.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Valentine's Day update! 🥰🥰 Enjoy and thank you as always for reading!

The month following his rescue from Rathim was one of the most challenging of Miko’s life.

Neri bodies healed more quickly than other species, and Shayta healing magic sped the process along to some extent. Even with that, Miko’s recovery was slow and frustrating and very, very painful.

His ribs were by far the worst. He came dangerously close to developing pneumonia within the first few weeks, unable to breathe without pain, barely able to get out of bed at all. He forced himself to eat and fought to breathe deeply to expand his ribcage, but it was like stabbing a knife into his chest and seeing how deep it could go.

Eventually, Adra brought him something from the healers for the pain, and that started to finally help—enough, at least, for him to start to breathe normally and evade pneumonia.

Noxx stayed with him much of the time, helping him eat and walk, bringing him things to ease the pain, and keeping him company. When he had to attend to necessary duties, Adra was there, sitting on Miko’s bed and making jewelry with him, drinking tea with him, telling him stories. She didn’t ask about what happened with Ruto, and Miko appreciated her for it. He preferred to put it behind him, at least for now.

Unfortunately, his subconscious had other ideas.

Two weeks after arriving back in Klodin, Miko awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, shaking and gasping and in harsh pain from twisting against the sheets. Images of dark, cold rooms and hands squeezing his throat lingered in his pounding head and he shot upright, fighting for air. The room was still dark and he felt so cold. He couldn’t stop shaking.

“Miko?” A pair of hands found Miko’s shoulders. The voice was familiar but Miko lurched away from the contact on instinct, memories of hands on his windpipe making a home at the pit of his stomach. The panic was worse than the pain, for the moment, and he couldn’t even think past it.

“Miko.” A face hovered in front of him in the darkness. Hands outstretched, not touching him, trying to calm him. “It’s okay. You were dreaming. Everything’s fine.”

Noxx’s face was blurring and Miko blinked a few times to clear his vision, startled to realize he was crying. Sobbing, actually. Every breath pulled harshly at his injured ribs, but he couldn’t seem to stop.

Tentative hands found his face, thumbs stroking his jaw. The touch was so disarmingly warm and tender that Miko found himself calming, just a little. “Hey,” Noxx was saying. “You’re safe, Miko.”

Miko gave a long, shuddering breath. He slumped forward, forehead dropping onto Noxx’s shoulder. He stayed there, eyes closed, as his breathing slowed. Noxx tensed very briefly out of surprise, but then his hand rested onto the back of Miko’s neck, holding him there. Miko’s breathing gradually slowed, leaving pain in its wake.

“Are you okay?” Noxx asked, when he felt Miko’s breathing slow. “You scared me a little.”

Miko raised his head. He rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice rough from sleep and from his ragged breathing. “I’m okay.” He looked around blearily. They were still in Miko’s room, the lights off, the outside dark. “You stayed?”

Noxx shrugged, clearly trying to be nonchalant. “I didn’t feel like going back to my own room,” he said. “I hope you didn’t mind.”

“No,” Miko said. “Of course I don’t mind.”

He shifted, and gasped at the movement when his ribs ripped pain through him. He moaned and pressed his palm against his ribcage, gritting his teeth against the pain. Noxx’s hand rested on his leg.

“Is the pain worse than before?” he asked.

“I think…I moved wrong when I woke up,” Miko groaned. He tried to breathe deeply, taking several slow, painful breaths. “Gods. I wish all of this was over.”

“I know.” Noxx sighed softly. When he spoke again, his voice was lighter. “There’s some pain medication left. Take that, and I’ll run you a bath. That will make you feel a lot better.”

It had been days since Miko had taken a real bath. The anticipation of pain had made it too daunting. Noxx filled the bath with lukewarm water and sprinkled salts and herbs into it, giving the water a pleasant, earthy smell. “What are those?” Miko asked, stepping gingerly out of bed and towards the basin.

“They’re meant to relax muscles and relieve pain,” Noxx explained. He tested the temperature of the water and then straightened to face Miko, toweling off his hands. “I thought I’d help you bathe. If that would be all right.”

Miko’s throat jumped. He nodded.

Noxx’s gaze was impassive as he approached, but his hands were infinitely gentle as he helped remove Miko’s clothing. He lifted Miko’s tunic over his head without causing him pain or pulling at his ribs, and then knelt to slide Miko’s pants over his legs. Miko’s skin flushed hot as he was exposed to the cool air, and he felt himself pebbling involuntarily with goosebumps.

Noxx either didn’t notice or he pretended not to. He squeezed Miko’s hip gently and then stood, taking Miko’s clothes with him. He folded them and set them aside, and then turned back so they were facing each other. His gaze flickered across Miko’s body, just once, enough for Miko’s skin to flush warm again.

“Let me help you in,” Noxx said, reaching out a hand.

Miko gripped Noxx’s arm, carefully stepping into the warm water one leg at a time. He lowered himself into the bath, breathing sharply through his teeth through the pain. Noxx kept a hold on him until he was settled, and then took a seat beside the tub. “Too hot?” he asked.

Miko shook his head. “It’s perfect,” he said. He sighed and could already feel himself relaxing a little. “I’m sorry for scaring you earlier. I’ve never had nightmares like that before.”

“It’s understandable,” Noxx said. “After what happened.” He rested his arm against the edge of the tub. “You know you’re safe here, right? There’s no need to be frightened.”

“I know,” Miko said. “Realistically, I know. It’s hard for my brain to remember sometimes, I suppose.”

Noxx gazed at him. He flicked his fingers on the surface of the water. “Your breathing has been better lately,” he said. “Has the pain improved at all?”

“A little,” Miko said. He smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me so much. Neri heal fast, and the medicine Adra has been bringing me is helping a lot.”

“Are you telling me to leave you alone?”

“No,” Miko said, too quickly. Noxx’s gaze turned amused.

Noxx reached for a bottle, pouring some clear liquid into his palm. “Lean your head back,” he said. “It hurts to hold your arms over your head, right?”

Having his hair washed for him was shockingly pleasant. Miko closed his eyes and leaned back into Noxx’s hands, sighing in pleasure at the gentle scratch of his fingers. The salts and herbs were working wonders, unwinding lines of tension from every muscle in his body. He could stay here forever.

Noxx poured water over Miko’s head to rinse his hair, carefully avoiding getting soap in his eyes. His hands lingered after he was done, fingers rubbing gentle circles at the back of Miko’s neck. Miko’s eyes slid open and he looked over, meeting Noxx’s gaze. Noxx was watching him, silent, almost thoughtful.

He withdrew his hand, and Miko missed the gentle pressure. “How’s the pain now?” Noxx asked.

“Mm,” Miko sighed. “Better.”

“Good.” Noxx pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll let you get clean. Let me know when you need me to help you out.”

Miko took his time washing the rest of his body, enjoying the warmth of the water and the feeling of sweat washed away from his skin. By the time the water was cooling, he felt like a completely new being. The nightmares gradually faded to the back of his mind, leaving behind only exhaustion.

Noxx gripped his hand to help him out of the water, and then reached up to rub his hair dry, careful of the healing injury at the back of his skull. He moved lower, then, drying Miko’s neck and shoulders and his chest, carefully avoiding putting pressure on the bruises along Miko’s ribs. “Noxx,” Miko said, opening his mouth to protest and insist he could dry himself, but he caught his breath and broke off when Noxx knelt to dry the lower half of his body.

Noxx pressed the towel against Miko’s hips, his stomach, his thighs. He seemed like he was taking his time, dragging it out. It felt so nice, being touched like this, and Miko’s mind swarmed with the memory of Noxx’s bare hands touching him back in Rathim, so careful and slow and warm.

He kicked the thoughts away frantically when he felt his body respond, but it was too late. Noxx noticed the way Miko had stiffened and paused, his gaze curious, his thumb stroking back and forth against Miko’s hip. Miko covered his face in humiliation and moaned into his palms, trying to back away, but Noxx stopped him, gripping more firmly.

“It’s all right, Miko,” he said, his voice a low murmur, and the sound of that really didn’t help. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“I can’t help it,” Miko whispered, hands still pressed against his face. “I’m sorry.”

There was a shifting sound as Noxx stood, letting the towel pool on the floor. Hands took gentle hold of Miko’s wrists, pulling them away from his face. Miko stared at him, shivered at the sudden expression darkening Noxx’s gaze.

“Is it another mating cycle?” Noxx asked. “Like last time, back in Rathim?”

Miko flushed. He shook his head.

Noxx just continued looking at him, examining Miko’s face as though considering him. Miko resisted the urge to run from the room, pinned by Noxx’s gaze, suddenly hyperaware of his own nudity and how the air felt against his skin. Noxx’s fingers ghosted along his ribs, along the bruising and then lower towards his waist, and Miko jumped beneath his touch. He shuddered, breath catching in a surprised whimper, and reached out desperately to catch Noxx’s arm, nails digging into his skin.

Their eyes held for a brief moment. Miko felt like he was going to shiver out of his skin.

Noxx tensed and withdrew his hand, then. He stepped away, reaching for the neglected towel. He handed it to Miko. “You should try and get some sleep,” he said. He wasn’t looking in Miko’s direction anymore, his jaw tight and his expression hard.

Miko swallowed, taking the towel and clutching it to his body in an attempt to hide his arousal. “Noxx...”

“I’ll be next door if you need anything.” Noxx turned and left the room, leaving Miko alone and trembling and aching.

* * *

Two months after Miko returned from Rathim, he was still plagued by nightmares.

He became more adept at handling them, at least, as the weeks passed. He would still wake in a panic many nights, but he could calm himself more easily, and without Noxx’s help. A simple reminder that what he’d dreamt wasn’t real was often enough to shake off the memories, and a warm drink sufficed to get him back to sleep.

The nightmares, however, left him feeling vulnerable, weak and exhausted. Poor sleep—and lack thereof—made him drowsy during the day. The fear lingered even when he was awake, leading to a constant, itching feeling of paranoia.

“Has anything helped so far?” Adra asked him one afternoon. “Perhaps sleeping with someone else would ward off the dreams? I bet Noxx…”

“I’ve tried that, as it happens,” Miko said. Noxx didn’t sleep with him often, anymore, now that Miko was strong enough to take care of himself. Noxx had begun to take up his duties again, and was busy preparing for the upcoming Festival of the White Dove. “It didn’t help much.”

Adra pursed her lips. “I remember Noxx having nightmares a few years ago,” she said thoughtfully, stringing a line of beads together and holding up the thread so it caught the light, admiring the colors. “He never told me what they were about, precisely, but maybe he’d have some ideas that would help.”

That gave Miko an idea, then. He went searching for Noxx later that evening, and found him on the first floor of the palace, having a conversation with his father. Miko paused at the edge of the hallway, glancing around the corner, unsure whether to cut in. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, exactly, but well...the two of them were practically yelling.

“You abandon your role as Eero for over a month,” Noxx’s father, Kozu, was saying, “and you expect me to help you pick up the pieces now that things have fallen through the cracks? I’m not your house servant, Noxx.”

Kozu was nearly the same height as Noxx—the two looked much the same—but Kozu gave the appearance of towering over Noxx. Something about his stature, or the broadness of his shoulders, or his severe expression.

“I simply shifted my responsibilities to something else important,” Noxx said. “You were the one who wanted me to attempt to connect with Miko—”

“Not at the expense of your people and your duties,” Kozu snapped, cutting him off. “Your role as a leader should always come first, and you should know that by now.”

“I don’t regret my decision.”

Kozu’s jaw tightened. “I expect nothing like this to happen again,” he said. “If I receive another report from a clan leader that you skipped an engagement—”

“I know.”

Kozu gave a brisk nod. He walked off, his footsteps sharp against the floors, and barked at a servant along the way to bring him a bottle of wine.

Miko crept out from his hiding place, approaching Noxx tentatively. Noxx didn’t notice him at first; he was rubbing at the bridge of his nose and in between his eyes, squeezing them shut as though to block out a headache. He sighed heavily and lifted his chin, gazing up at the ceiling.

“Noxx?” Miko said.

Noxx looked over at him, blinking in surprise. “Miko?” he said. “How long have you been there?”

“Uh,” Miko said. “Not long.”

Noxx’s expression softened a little. He turned so they were facing each other and stepped a little closer. “I apologize you had to see something like that,” he said. “It didn’t put me or my father in a very good light.”

Miko shook his head. “I just...I’m sorry I caused you trouble,” he said. “You know, since you’ve been taking so much time to help me these past few weeks.”

“Stop,” Noxx said. “You heard what I said. I meant it. I don’t regret what I decided to do.”

“I know that. But you didn’t have to take care of me just because you felt guilty. I know the Umbra Clan is more important.”

Noxx’s brow furrowed. “You think I decided to skirt my duties all month just because I felt guilty?” he said.

“Well...” Miko frowned back. “Weren’t you?”

“I suppose, yes, but it wasn’t just because of that.” Noxx sighed. He glanced down the hall, where his father had disappeared. “Was there something you needed to talk to me about?”

Miko nodded, reluctantly letting the topic go. “I was thinking,” he said. “There might be something that will make me feel more control, after everything. I want to learn how to fight and use a weapon.”

Noxx turned back, stared at him. “Miko,” he said, “absolutely not. You’re still recovering.”

“I’m fine,” Miko said honestly. The pain in his ribs had faded weeks ago, thought they still twinged if he moved in the wrong direction and there was still a fair amount of stiffness where the bruising had colored his body. “I want to do this, Noxx.” He paused, hesitating. “I thought maybe you could teach me.”

Noxx opened his mouth, closed it again. He considered Miko for a long moment. “I don’t want you to make your injuries worse again,” he said. “And I’ve never really taught anyone before.”

“That’s okay. I want it to be you.” Miko smiled. “We can start simple. I really want to do this, Noxx. I think it might even help with the nightmares.”

Noxx sighed heavily. His jaw worked for several moments. “Fine,” he said finally. “We’ll do a session tonight, see how you feel in the morning. But if you’re in any pain, or you hurt yourself while you’re training—”

“I’ll tell you,” Miko said. “I promise.”

Noxx narrowed his eyes, as though trying to ascertain whether Miko was lying. “All right,” he said. He jerked his head down the hall towards the hall. “Follow me.”

* * *

One of the larger courtyards, the one on the first floor of the palace, functioned as a training ground for Umbra soldiers. They had a more comprehensive training area outside the palace, Noxx explained, but this smaller one made do to enhance specific skills or keep them sharp while on duty for long periods of time.

“Do you have any experience with weapons at all?” Noxx asked as they stepped out into the evening light. There were rows of weapons stacked against one side of the courtyard, held up on a wooden structure. Spears, swords, shields, bows and arrows. Miko hesitated a little at the sight of them.

“Not really,” Miko said. “I can use a bow to hunt, and a spear to fish.”

“That’s a good start.” Noxx selected a couple of spears from the rows of weapons. He handed one of them over. “Let’s see what you can do with this first.”

He demonstrated proper form, explaining how to grip the spear when in battle. It was different to how Miko had ever used a spear in his life and these were particularly heavy, not at all like the lightweight, breakable ones they used for fishing back in Northern Crethia. Miko struggled to get a decent grip on it and then nearly toppled over when he attempted the footwork as Noxx described it.

“You’re doing fine,” Noxx said, when they paused. Miko groaned in frustration, breathing heavily. “It’s always challenging at first. You’re actually doing better than expected.” Noxx raised his eyebrows. “Should we take a break?”

“No,” Miko said. “Not yet.”

A smile flickered across Noxx’s face. “All right,” he said. “Remember that movement I showed you? Try it again.”

Miko didn’t take to using a weapon as well as he’d hoped. Within a few minutes his arms were shaking with the effort and he was sweating, his breathing harsh and labored. “Let’s try something else,” Noxx suggested. “Show me what you can do with a bow.”

After struggling with a spear for nearly an hour, Miko wasn’t in much shape to show off his bow and arrow skills. He managed to hit a few targets, but Noxx noticed the way he was trembling and called it quits.

“I can keep going,” Miko said, even as he put back his bow.

“I’m sure you can,” Noxx said. “But I’m not going to let you push yourself.” He stepped closer, eyes fixed on Miko’s face. “You need to know your limits. Your body isn’t fully healed.”

Miko lowered his gaze. He shuffled his feet against the stone ground.

“Miko,” Noxx said, “what’s really going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t just about the nightmares. I know those have been hard for you, but it seems like it goes deeper than that. You can’t be this eager to learn how to use a spear.”

Miko grimaced. It was embarrassing, all of it. “I just want to be able to defend myself,” he said. “So I don’t cause so much trouble again. If I’d been able to fight back, maybe that Umbra guard wouldn’t have caught me in the first place.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Noxx said, his voice fierce. “None of it was.”

“I know that, I suppose,” Miko said. “But still, you had to postpone everything just to come save my life. You fought off those Luvon guards like it was nothing, and all I could do was sit there and watch.”

“Miko, I’m a Shaytan,” Noxx said. “I’ve been training every single day for my entire life. You were busy just trying to take care of your family.”

“But,” Miko said, “aren’t you glad you’re able to do all those things? That you’re able to defend yourself and the people you care about?”

Noxx’s jaw tightened unexpectedly. He looked away, somewhere over Miko’s shoulder. His gaze was unfocused. “I haven’t been able to protect everyone I care about,” he said.

Miko frowned. Not for the first time, he wanted to ask what Noxx meant, what he was hiding behind the hard lines of his expression. And again, Miko was too nervous to ask.

Noxx sighed. “I don’t regret the training I’ve done,” he said. “But I wouldn’t wish it on others.” He reached up, rubbing his fingers through his hair. He still wouldn’t quite meet Miko’s eyes. “If you want to keep at this, I’ll help you. But I won’t let you work yourself to the point of pain for something that wasn’t your fault.”

Miko softened. He nodded. “All right.”

They headed back towards the inside of the palace. The sun had nearly gone down, and Miko felt exhausted suddenly. His legs dragged beneath him as he and Noxx walked upstairs. “The Festival of the White Dove is in a few days, isn’t it?” Miko asked, watching as several servants scurried by with their arms full of decorations, flowers and jewels in haphazard piles.

“Yes,” Noxx said. “It was pushed back slightly.” He glanced over. “You aren’t under any obligation to attend.”

“I’m not?”

“No. After what you’ve been through, everyone will understand.”

Miko pursed his lips. “The Luvon Clan won’t be invited, will they?”

“They aren’t welcome at any future events, no. Not just Ruto, but any of them. The guards will be keeping an eye out, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Then I’ll come.” Miko smiled. “I’d like to meet Shayta from other clans. And I’m tired of being shut up in my room.”

Noxx just nodded, but he seemed pleased. “Good,” he said. “I think you’ll enjoy it.”


	9. Chapter 9

The Festival of the White Dove was just as extravagant than Miko had expected.

The largest courtyard on the first floor of the palace was where the bulk of the event took place. Rows and cascading piles of flowers created a vivid rainbow of color all along the pillars. Candles and torches threw the courtyard into bright, warm light, and musicians played upbeat music—on stringed instruments and drums and woodwinds—against the far end of the courtyard, making the air hum. Tables were laid with tapestries, their colors matching the flowers.

The guests echoed the décor, their clothing brightly colored and their limbs dripping in jewelry. Miko had selected one of his own designs for the evening, a flowing, floor-length piece made of soft white silk and red taffeta. A length of it draped over his shoulder and across his chest, and the rest spilled from his hips, swishing pleasantly against his bare legs and ankles.

Miko secured bracelets around his arms and hung golden earrings from his ears, and let his hair down, allowing it to spill over his shoulders. He gazed at himself in the mirror and was taken aback by how much he liked the outfit. He thought he’d never get used to seeing his own skin on display, but he didn’t mind it now. He didn’t even mind the bruising lingering on his ribs—yellowed now, barely visible except up close.

The door opened. A soft gasp behind him told him that it was Adra before he even turned around. She was gazing at him in amazement, dressed in her own purple-and-blue outfit. “Miko,” she said, dancing into the room, “you look _amazing_.”

“Thank you,” Miko said, smiling back. “You look very nice too.” He glanced behind her at the open door. “Where’s Noxx?”

“He had to go downstairs already,” Adra said. “He asked me to come fetch you.” She offered her elbow to him. “Are you ready?”

Adra seemed to flourish under the warm light of the party. She drank and chatted energetically with the guests, one by one, bringing Miko along with her. Miko couldn’t recall most of their names, but Adra seemed to remember every little fact about them, down to the names of their children and their favorite foods. It was remarkable to watch.

“How do you remember all these things?” Miko asked when they paused, heading for a table full of food and drink. “It’s like you have a perfect memory.”

“I like learning things about everyone,” Adra said. She handed Miko a crystal glass full of sparkling liquid. “It makes them happy.” She giggled. “Plus Noxx hates learning all the insignificant details of other clan leaders. I enjoy being better than him at something.”

Miko sipped from the glass. The liquid fizzled pleasantly over his tongue. “Have you seen Noxx at all tonight?”

Adra nodded. She craned her neck, pointed across the courtyard. “He’s over there, talking to Eero Havora.”

Miko followed her gaze. Noxx and Havora were engaged in conversation but Noxx glanced over when Miko did, meeting his eyes. Noxx was dressed in an outfit of striking, sharp lines of red and black. His tunic hung to his knees and under it he wore fitted black pants. On his feet were silver sandals.

Noxx cast him a brief, half-smile, enough to make Miko’s body warm. He turned back to speaking with Havora.

Miko wanted to cross the room to meet with him, but Adra grabbed his arm before he could move. “Let’s go dance,” she said. She’d already finished her drink, and her cheeks were flushed pink.

“Huh?” Miko said. “I don’t know how.”

“That’s okay. I’ll teach you the steps.”

Miko smiled. He drained his drink and followed her towards the musicians.

There were specific dances, it seemed, that all Shayta learned from a young age, and Adra already knew most of them. She tried to guide Miko through the moves and Miko followed along clumsily, his unsteady feet making her giggle. Miko enjoyed himself despite his inept dancing; the music fluttered through his body into the soles of his feet, and the drink he’d had earlier made him feel a little as though he were floating.

When he was finally able to escape Adra’s clutches, he stumbled back to the tables full of food, his eyes widening as he looked over the spread. Along with the usual fruit and vegetable dishes, there was also an array of fish, similar to the dishes that Ruto had offered him back in Rathim. Miko took some of everything that looked good. He found himself starving after all the dancing.

“What do you think?” a voice said.

Noxx had appeared at Miko’s shoulder. He was holding out a glass, filled with more sparkling liquid.

Miko smiled. He set aside his empty plate and took the glass. “It’s all delicious,” he said. “Was this your idea?”

“Yes. When we visited Rathim and Ruto had prepared an entire spread for you, you should have seen the way your eyes lit up.”

“It’s perfect,” Miko said. “Much better than what he prepared.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Noxx glanced over Miko’s shoulder, up at the balcony on the upper floor. “Would you step away from the party for a few minutes? I’d like to show you something.”

“Step away?” Miko said. “Right now?”

Noxx nodded. “Don’t worry,” he said. He reached out, taking Miko’s hand and tugging. “Adra is better at this than I’ll ever be. Nobody will even notice we left.”

Miko followed Noxx into the palace and up the stairs. It was quiet inside, the music muffled even as they approached the upstairs balcony. “Where are we going?” Miko asked as they walked. He sipped his drink, until the glass was mostly empty.

“You’ll see,” Noxx said. He squeezed Miko’s hand without looking over. “Just trust me.”

Just inside the second floor balcony, a line of portraits hung against the wall. There was a whole row of them, male Shayta posing on canvases with jewelry and in rich clothing. Miko only recognized one of the faces—Kozu, Noxx’s father.

“Who are these portraits of?” Miko asked, as they paused in front of the portraits.

“Past Eeros,” Noxx said. “Umbra Clan Leaders.” His gaze was fixed on his father’s portrait. “I am to take my father’s place at the end of the season. He’s decided to step down sooner than expected.” His throat jumped. “My portrait will go up along all my ancestors.”

Miko blinked. “The end of the season?” he echoed. “But I thought—”

“I know. I did too.” Noxx’s brow furrowed, and he sighed. “I thought I was ready for this. But now that it’s here, I…”

His voice trailed off. Miko’s chest squeezed in sympathy.

“You’re going to be amazing, Noxx,” Miko said. “Your people love you. And all of us—your parents, your sister—we’ll be here. We’ll support you.”

Noxx turned to face him. He took Miko’s empty glass and set it down, along with his own, on a nearby flower pedestal. “Come on,” he said, leading Miko out onto the balcony.

The air was growing cool as the night dragged on, and the crowd in the courtyard had thinned a little. Adra still danced with the other female Shayta, a blissful smile on her face like she was having the time of her life.

“Your bruises are nearly gone,” Noxx said.

Miko looked over. Noxx was leaning against the stone railing, gazing over at him. Miko glanced down at his chest, and nodded. “I don’t miss them,” he said.

Noxx chuckled. He straightened, stepping a little closer. He took a bit of red taffeta in between his fingertips. “This looks amazing on you,” he said, and his voice was softer now. “Did you design it yourself?”

Miko nodded. His mouth felt dry. “You like it?”

“Yes. It’s beautiful.”

His fingers trailed along the fabric crossing Miko’s chest. A shiver rippled up Miko’s spine as Noxx’s knuckles brushed his skin. Miko moved closer, a little breathless, the wine from earlier sending warmth cascading up and down his body. He reached up, fisting his hand in the front of Noxx’s tunic.

Noxx’s gaze flickered up. His throat jumped again and he tensed, his hand catching Miko’s wrist. “Miko…”

“I’m sorry.” Miko backed away, face flushing hot with embarrassment. “I…I didn’t…”

He tried to escape, but Noxx tightened his grip on Miko’s arm, keeping him there. “Miko, wait,” he said. “Please.”

“It’s okay, Noxx, I understand,” Miko said, smiling wanly. “Political arrangement. I’m not trying to push that, honestly.”

“No, Miko—”

“I’m not going to beg for affection from someone who doesn’t want to give it to me,” Miko said, shaking his head. “I don’t need you to care about me. You’ve done right by me. That’s enough.”

“Miko, you _don’t_ understand.” Noxx gripped Miko’s shoulders, locking their eyes. “I want you to understand.”

Miko stared, frowning in confusion. He didn’t try and pull away.

Noxx dropped his hands. He sighed, and his gaze shifted over Miko’s shoulder, the way he did when he was about to express something emotional. “I lied when I said I never imagined marrying. I did. Before I came of age, I knew exactly who I wanted to marry.”

“Oh,” Miko said softly. “Who?”

“He was my close friend, another Shaytan. We’d learned to fight together and to use our abilities together. He wasn’t nobility—nowhere close—but still, I cared deeply for him. I told my father I’d made my choice. He refused.”

“I’m sorry,” Miko whispered.

Noxx’s jaw tightened, his gaze going hard. “He disappeared after that,” he said, his voice bitter and harsh. “I found him two weeks later. His body was in Shiri lake, two miles outside the city. I dragged him out, but he was already dead.”

Miko’s eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open.

“My father said he drowned,” Noxx said. “But I was sure a rival clan killed him, and I couldn’t fathom why.”

Miko’s throat felt tight. His eyes burned. “Did you love him?”

Noxx closed his eyes briefly. He nodded. “It’s not just you,” he said. “Who wants something more than…than this. I care for you, Miko. I know I’m not very good at showing it.”

Miko smiled at him, a wavery smile. “I think you’re better at it than you give yourself credit for,” he said, thinking of the weeks when Noxx had spent nearly every moment at Miko’s side, ensuring his comfort as he recovered. Miko reached out, took Noxx’s hand, gripping tightly. “You deserve to be happy again, Noxx.”

Noxx exhaled. He clenched his fingers around Miko’s, closing his eyes again. When he opened them, his expression was more intense, sharper.

He withdrew his hand from Miko’s but stepped closer, lifting his palm to Miko’s jaw. He held Miko’s face steady with both hands and bent down until their noses brushed, keeping their eyes locked. Miko’s rested his hands, trembling, against Noxx’s chest. Noxx had paused, an inch away, searching Miko’s face, neither of them breathing. For a moment Miko thought Noxx would pull away again.

He didn’t.

Noxx’s mouth tasted like wine. Miko pressed up on his toes to deepen this kiss, shivering all the way from his head down to his toes at the contact. Noxx’s fingers were sliding into his hair and he sighed, tilted his head to accommodate as Miko leaned into him. Noxx’s tongue, hot, curled against his.

Noxx broke away, briefly, and Miko was about to make a sound of protest. But Noxx just shifted them slightly, backing Miko away from the edge of the balcony so they were out of sight. He pressed Miko against one of the pillars at the corner of the entryway, and kissed him again.

Noxx kissed like he was hungry for it, like he’d been holding back for months. His hands slipped lower, finding the skin beneath Miko’s clothing, and Miko arched up into him in response. He moaned, a breathy, involuntary sound, at the contact, and Noxx’s hands tightened briefly on his body in response.

Noxx drew back. His gaze was hot. “Let’s go upstairs,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, and Miko nodded.

They abandoned the party entirely, not even bothering to say goodbyes. Noxx was kissing him before the door had even shut behind them; he kicked the door closed with his toe and lifted Miko into his arms without breaking the kiss, carrying him over to the bed. Miko caught his breath in surprise as the floor disappeared and then blinked, disoriented, up into Noxx’s face when he found himself flat on the bed.

Noxx’s expression was beyond anything Miko had ever seen before, his gaze full of intent. Miko shivered as Noxx bent down to kiss him again.

Noxx settled between his legs. The warm pressure drove Miko out of his mind and he bucked up into it, rolling their hips together. Noxx groaned, and his fingers tangled in Miko’s hair. Miko could taste his arousal, in his breath and in the air between them, and it was heady. Miko’s body shook with the pent-up tension over days without being touched.

“This outfit was driving me mad,” Noxx muttered, his hands at Miko’s hips, slipping beneath the fabric and pushing it out of the way. His palms dragged along Miko’s thighs, exploring his bare skin, and Miko shuddered. Noxx’s skin was so warm. Miko couldn’t get enough of it.

He reached up, yanking at the front of Noxx’s tunic impatiently. “Off,” he panted. “Off.”

Noxx hummed. “You first,” he said, sitting back.

He slipped Miko’s clothing out of the way, unwrapping it from his chest and then slipping the rest off his hips, leaving him in just his gold jewelry. Miko felt his skin going hot under the scrutiny and Noxx smiled at him, settling back between Miko’s legs. “Since when do you get embarrassed?” he teased. “That night in Rathim—”

“That was different,” Miko protested. He tugged again at Noxx’s clothes. “You now.”

Noxx removed his tunic willingly and set it aside. Miko pushed up to kiss him, and Noxx hummed, his mouth hot and wet and his hands finding Miko’s waist. He kissed down Miko’s neck, teasing at the sensitive skin behind his ear and beneath his chin. When he moved lower, nipping gently at a spot just below his jaw, Miko gasped, his body going rigid.

“ _Oh_ ,” he said, his hand flying to Noxx’s chest, “N-Noxx, I—”

Noxx drew his tongue against the same spot, and sparks of pleasure skipped along Miko’s body. He gave a shocked moan and his fingernails dug into Noxx’s skin, legs squeezing around his hips. Noxx just chuckled, moved to the other side, kissing at some other unbearably sensitive spot on Miko’s skin.

“I read somewhere that Neri have this spot, right here…” Noxx murmured, brushing his lips against the spot he’d just kissed, “that is especially sensitive during arousal.” He nipped at the spot again, and Miko shuddered all over. “It’s like a scent gland. During your heat, it allows you to smell potential mates.”

“Noxx,” Miko huffed, “I’m going to lose my mind.”

Noxx chuckled. He raised his head, but instead of coming in for another kiss he moved lower down the mattress, pressing apart Miko’s legs. Miko shuddered when he realized what Noxx was going to do, and he pushed himself onto his elbows, eyes going wide. “N—Noxx—” He broke off, gasped, at the first touch of Noxx’s tongue to his cock.

No one had ever done this to him before. The shock of sensation made his toes curl and he dug his fingers into the sheets. Noxx glanced up at him, as though checking Miko’s expression. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him because he lowered his head further, taking Miko fully into his mouth.

His tongue was so hot, and his mouth was wet. Miko watched, enraptured, as his cock disappeared into that wet heat, the pleasure so intense he thought he might drown in it. Noxx’s hands steadied him, stroking gently at his thighs and his hips, and he pulled off briefly, leaving Miko panting and shaking. He raised his eyebrows curiously, and Miko shivered.

“More,” Miko breathed. “More, more.”

Noxx smiled. He lowered his head again.

Miko was too sensitive, too on edge after so long, that he could feel himself getting close much, much too soon. He gave a desperate sound and pushed at Noxx’s head as orgasm tingled in his belly, and Noxx raised his head, frowning in confusion. “I don’t want to come,” Miko huffed. “Too soon. Not yet.”

“Mm,” Noxx said, unconcerned. “Not to worry. I’ll make you come more than once.” He smirked and brushed his lips teasingly against the head of Miko’s cock. “I know Neri can come multiple times, even if you’re not in a heat cycle.”

Miko blinked at him. “How much time did you spend researching—” He broke off again with a ragged gasp, when Noxx’s mouth lowered back around him. “ _Oh_ —Noxx, wait—”

Noxx ignored him. He pressed Miko’s thighs wider, reaching low to where Miko was wet and aching, and slipped one finger into him. Miko sobbed and tugged harshly at the sheets, shaking with pleasure. “Not fair,” he moaned, “that’s not fair—”

Noxx curled a second finger inside him. Miko’s thoughts turned to dust and he lost all sense of shame, rocking down desperately into Noxx’s touch to chase the pleasure that was curling into the pit of his stomach. Noxx rubbed inside him where he was unbearably sensitive and it was like lightning up and down Miko’s body. He stopped fighting it, let the sensation spiral through his body, wave after wave of pleasure until he couldn’t take any more. He moaned and came, Noxx’s tongue working him through it until Miko was crying out with the intensity of it.

Noxx’s mouth was gone, then, but his fingers stayed inside Miko’s body, teasing that same delicious spot that made Miko’s toes curl. Miko shuddered, sweaty and breathless and dazed, the sensation so acute it made him want to scream. His body throbbed under the attention. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to take another orgasm.

“You have no idea,” Noxx said, his voice low and rough, “how long I’ve wanted to taste you like that.” His mouth pressed, warm, against Miko’s inner thigh, and Miko whimpered. “For months I’ve wanted to touch you again.”

Miko couldn’t answer. His body was drawing up tight and Noxx’s fingers were unerringly stimulating that same place that drove him cray, and Miko was barely clinging to sanity.

The mattress shifted as Noxx moved, his mouth pressing against Miko’s stomach now, his chest, the base of his throat. He curled his free hand into Miko’s hair, tilting his head back, and his mouth found that _spot_ on his throat, and that was all Miko could take.

His whole body seemed to go rigid and he wailed, clutching at whatever he could reach, digging his nails into Noxx’s skin. His climax pulsed through him, sharper than the first, his back curling off the bed as it shuddered through his body. Noxx’s fingers were so deep inside him and he coaxed Miko through it with careful, gentle strokes. Miko had never felt so good in his life.

He tilted his head as he was coming down, still panting. Noxx met him in a kiss, slow and hot. Miko couldn’t stop trembling.

“Noxx,” he breathed. He shifted, curled his legs around Noxx’s hips. “I want you. I want you inside me.”

Noxx’s shoulders tensed. “Miko, I…” He exhaled, his breath warm in Miko’s mouth. “I…I want to.”

Miko drew back, frowned at him. “You won’t?”

“I can’t.” Noxx’s throat jumped. His arousal was clear, visible beneath his clothes and in the scent in the air, but his jaw was tight with finality. “I can’t, Miko. Not now.”

Miko nodded. He didn’t ask for an explanation—now wasn’t the time. “Then I want to make you feel good some other way,” he said. He reached out, finding Noxx’s cock, rubbing gently over his clothing. Noxx groaned, and his eyes slipped closed. “Please. Can I?”

Noxx flickered his eyes open. He nodded.

Once Noxx was situated back against the pillows, Miko settled on the mattress between his knees and drew him out of his clothes. Noxx was different than Miko had been expecting, thicker, wider. Miko balked, unsure he’d be able to fit it in his mouth, and Noxx’s fingers found his hair, stroking.

“It’s okay, Miko,” he said. “You don’t have to.”

Miko shook his head. “I want to.”

He settled in, taking his time. He just licked experimentally first, tasting, getting used to the weight and the feel. Noxx’s fingers flexed in his hair a few times, but otherwise he was quiet, letting Miko figure out what he was doing.

When Miko took him into his mouth, however, he was rewarded with a low groan. Miko glanced up and Noxx’s eyes had slipped shut, his jaw going tight. Encouraged, Miko drew back, and then lowered his head back down, taking Noxx even deeper. Noxx exhaled sharply, and his fingers clenched hard in Miko’s hair.

Miko pulled off, blinking. “Am I doing this right?” he asked.

Noxx opened his eyes. His gaze was hot, and it made Miko shiver. “Yes,” Noxx said, his voice a low rumble.

Miko went back to what he was doing. He opened up his throat, trying to see how far down he could get without choking. He found it was easier than expected, maybe because it was easy for him to hold his breath. Noxx shuddered when Miko took him all the way down and his voice, when he stammered “M-Miko—” was wrecked. It was incredibly satisfying.

Noxx’s body seized all at once and he gripped Miko’s hair when he came, spilling salty and bitter onto Miko’s tongue. Miko hummed and swallowed and Noxx cursed, his body jerking with another wave of pleasure.

Miko drew back, wiping off his chin. He’d barely taken a second to draw breath before Noxx was gripping him, dragging him into a kiss. Miko settled on his lap and kissed him back, long and slow and warm.

“I’m sorry,” Noxx said when he broke the kiss. “I should have warned you. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Miko shook his head. “I liked it,” he whispered. “I like this with you.”

Noxx smiled. He tilted Miko’s chin to kiss him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Come chat with me on Tumblr, crystalflowers.tumblr.com <3


	10. Chapter 10

When Miko awoke his feet were sore from dancing, but it was a good feeling. He stretched out his legs and flexed his toes, and buried his face into the pillows.

Fingertips traced along his back in slow, gentle lines. Miko sighed in pleasure and fluttered his eyes open. Noxx was awake and lying on his back at Miko’s side, gazing over at him. “Mmph,” Miko groaned into the pillows. “Too early.”

Noxx hummed. He dragged his fingers up and down, slow, soft. Miko squirmed closer, letting their legs tangle together, and stretched up, searching. Noxx slipped his hand beneath Miko’s chin, pulling him in for a kiss.

Noxx deepened the kiss slowly, curling his fingers in Miko’s hair. He rolled Miko onto his back and settled between his legs, still kissing him, and Miko sighed happily. He wrapped his arms around Noxx’s neck, holding him there.

Noxx drew back. “I need to attend to my duties,” he said softly.

Miko frowned, disappointed. He tightened his grip, a pointless effort considering Noxx was much stronger than him. “Right now?”

Noxx nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said. He withdrew, breaking Miko’s grip, albeit with some clear reluctance. “I’ve neglected them for far too long.”

Miko knew that was true, and he also knew it was because of himself. So he nodded and pushed himself up, dragging the sheets onto his lap, and watched silently as Noxx got dressed. Miko felt oddly light after the events of last night, like something had been lifted from his chest. It was a wonderful, freeing thing. It was as though, maybe, he could make this new life actually work.

Noxx paused before leaving. He stepped to the edge of the bed. “Miko,” he said, “do you still want to learn how to fight?”

Miko nodded. “Will you still teach me?”

“If you like,” Noxx said. “I thought perhaps tonight, we can have another session.”

“That sounds good.” Miko smiled. “Will the courtyard be empty by then?”

“I imagine so. It doesn’t take long to take down the decorations.” Noxx raised his eyebrows. “Take it easy until then. I’ll know if you don’t.”

Miko laughed. He stretched up for another kiss, and then finally let Noxx slip out the door.

It was an unusually cool day, but Miko appreciated the reprieve from the heat. He sat outside with Adra to weave as usual, and Adra was remarkably chipper considering the excitement of the previous night. “You really like those kind of things, don’t you?” Miko said. “Parties and festivals, I mean.”

“I love them,” Adra said. “The White Dove is the best festival of the year. I look forward to it all season.”

“You seemed like you were having fun.”

“I was.” Adra pouted. “But you disappeared. Where’d you go?”

“I spent some time talking to Noxx,” Miko said. “He told me that he’ll be taking over for the clan at the end of the season.”

“Yes,” Adra said. Her smile faded a little. “I think it’s really weighing on him. He wasn’t expecting it to be this soon.”

“Do you know why it’s happening now? Why your father is stepping down so abruptly?”

“I’m not sure,” Adra said. “Neither is Noxx. I guess our father just thinks it’s time. Noxx has been training for a long while, after all.”

Later in the evening, Miko headed for the central courtyard to meet with Noxx, and found the place empty. It felt larger than usual after being packed with Shayta the night before, and Miko’s footsteps almost seemed to echo along the pillars. He stood in the middle while he waited, gazing up at the sky, where the sun was just barely breaking through the day’s cloud cover.

“Miko,” a voice said, and Miko turned. Noxx was approaching him, his expression oddly tense.

Miko headed over to meet him. “Hi,” he said. “Are you ready?”

Noxx grimaced. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I promised to help you train, but I have to make a trip tonight. I’m heading out immediately.”

“Oh,” Miko said, a little disappointed. “All right.”

“I wouldn’t go now if it wasn’t important. Clan leaders from nearly a dozen clans are meeting together.”

“I understand.” Miko smiled wanly. “I guess I need to get used to it. Once you’re Eero you’ll be gone quite a bit.”

“I can take you along with me next time if you like. I just can’t have anyone outside of my guards along for this meeting.” Noxx tilted his head. “I’ll be back in a few days. If you’d like to train while I’m gone, I can ask one of the guards to help you.”

“I guess,” Miko said. “But I’d rather it be you.”

A smile flickered over Noxx’s face. He moved closer, reaching out, hands finding Miko’s face. He bent down, and Miko stretched up on his toes to meet him.

Noxx sighed, kissed him again, deeper this time. A moan slipped free of Miko’s throat and he leaned into Noxx’s chest, clinging to the front of his tunic. He gave a sound of protest when Noxx pulled away. “I’m sorry,” Noxx muttered, his forehead resting against Miko’s for a brief second. “I have to leave.”

He pressed his mouth to Miko’s, kissing him one last time, and then let him go. He turned, heading back out of the courtyard.

* * *

Three days after Noxx had left, Miko woke in the middle of the night, sweaty and hot and aching.

He turned over in bed and shuddered as the sheets rustled against his sensitive skin. He moaned and buried his face in the pillows. “No,” he huffed. “No, no, not now, not _now_ …”

It was much more intense than last time, suggesting the heat was going to last more than just one night. Miko shoved aside his clothes and reached down frantically between his legs, muffling a cry in the pillow at the sensation. He felt feverish, his skin tacky with sweat and his body throbbing desperately.

His first orgasm took him by surprise, but didn’t bring him much relief. Panting, Miko reached back to press his fingers inside his body, groaning in frustration when they wouldn’t go deep enough, wouldn’t fill him enough. “ _Noxx_ ,” he moaned, fisting the sheets in his free hand. He twisted against the mattress. “ _N-Noxx_ —”

He came again, without even touching his cock. He moaned and rocked his hips against the sheets as the pleasure rippled through him, until he was trembling and gasping. Even afterwards, it wasn’t enough. Miko sobbed and rolled onto his back, struggling to catch his breath.

After coming twice, Miko still felt too hot, like a fever that wouldn’t break. His skin was sticky now, on his belly and his hands and in between his thighs. Miko shuddered at the memory of Noxx’s head between his legs, mouth pleasuring him long and slow, and tears of frustration budded in his eyes.

Miko moaned. He reached down between his legs again.

* * *

Miko grew anxious over the next couple days, for reasons he couldn’t quite figure out—something to do with Noxx’s absence, maybe, or his upcoming ascent to Clan Leader. Needing to move somehow, Miko decided to ask one of the guards to train him.

The guards thought he was kidding at first. Miko insisted, however, and a couple of them decided to take him seriously. They didn’t go easy on him—Miko only knew the very basics, and he fought like it—so he failed most of his moves and stumbled through using a weapon, and made very slow progress.

Adra insisted he demonstrate one afternoon, and fought him spear-to-spear in the courtyard, making dramatic whoosh-ing sounds as she swung the weapon. Miko doubled over laughing, until he had to give up practicing.

“You’re actually pretty good,” Adra said. “Better than I was expecting, anyway.”

She didn’t add _for a Neri_ , but Miko knew that was what she meant. “Thanks,” he said anyway. “I’m sore all the time. I don’t understand how Noxx did this from age three.”

“I don’t understand either, if I’m being honest,” Adra said.

Miko set his spear back where it belonged, next to Adra’s. “Have you ever wanted to learn how to use your powers like him?” Miko asked, speaking quickly.

“No, not especially,” Adra said. “Shayta powers are primarily used as an act of violence, and that’s never appealed to me. They’re used to exert power over outsiders and tighten control on other clans. It always repelled me. I’d rather just not know.”

“But,” Miko pressed, “what if you could use them for something else? To keep yourself safe, or to keep others safe? Or to protect your people?”

“I don’t want to protect my people if it means hurting someone else,” Adra said with a shrug. “That’s just not who I am.” She paused, and then backtracked. “I’m not saying that’s who Noxx is, of course. He never uses his powers unless it’s necessary, and he only learned to use them because it was expected of him.”

“Because his father made him,” Miko clarified.

Adra hunched one shoulder. “Noxx is the Eero’s son,” she said. “He’s next in line to take control of the Umbra clan. The Eero has to have power, has to be able to use their powers. It’s expected. That’s not our father’s fault, not exactly.”

She said it like she was trying to convince herself. And maybe she was right, but Miko still felt a hot curl in his gut, an uneasy, uncomfortable feeling.

* * *

The heat returned by evening.

Noxx still wasn’t due back for another couple days, and Miko despaired at the thought of fighting through his heat alone for the next two days. He could already feel it burning to life before the sun even went down, and he excused himself from dinner to crawl into bed, hoping to sleep through the worst of it. He drifted in and out of sleep, dreaming in disjointed images.

He awoke at a loud noise, footsteps. He sat upright in bed, shivering and trembling and bathed in sweat. His heat was back with aching, fiery ferocity, and his vision was blurry and unsteady. For a moment he thought that the heat was what had woken him up, but then he heard a voice in the hallway. Noxx’s voice, arguing with his father.

A door slammed shut. Miko scrambled out of bed, the sheets twisting around his legs. His body was uncoordinated and heavy.

The hallway was empty when Miko staggered out into it. He could smell cloves and nutmeg and he followed the scent towards the door of Noxx’s bedroom, pushing it open without knocking. Noxx was standing in the middle of the room at the foot of his bed, halfway through undressing, the skin of his bare shoulders glowing softly beneath the candlelight. Miko’s body screamed at the sight of bare skin and the smell of another body.

Noxx turned to look at the sound of the door closing. Miko was moving before he was even really aware of it. He stumbled across the room and threw his arms around Noxx’s waist, clinging to him. Noxx tensed in surprise but caught him, steadying him. “Miko?” he said.

Miko muffled a small sound into Noxx’s chest, shivering at the scent of his skin. Noxx gave an intake of breath at the sound and his hand slipped beneath Miko’s chin, tilting up his face. His fingers were warm and Miko shuddered, already panting. Noxx’s thumb stroked along his jaw and at the edge of his lower lip.

“Oh,” he murmured, his voice soft and full of sympathy. “Miko.”

“ _Noxx_ ,” Miko moaned, struggling to press even closer. “ _P-please.”_

A low sound echoed in Noxx’s throat. “Come here,” he said, bending his face toward Miko’s.

Miko was impatient, but Noxx didn’t seem to be in any hurry. He kissed Miko long and slow and hot on top of the bed, his hands warm and calloused, fingertips running along Miko’s sensitive skin until Miko was squirming beneath him. “How long have you been in your mating cycle?” Noxx asked, kissing his way down Miko’s throat, teasing at that spot that made him shiver with pleasure.

Miko was so dizzy that it took him a minute to find his voice and answer. “S-since yesterday,” he panted.

“I’m sorry,” Noxx said. His mouth was at Miko’s collarbone now, warm and soft. “I wouldn’t have left you alone if I’d known.”

Miko wanted to point out that Noxx was actually back sooner than he’d expected to be, but his voice was gone again. Noxx was kissing his stomach now, nipping teasingly at the skin there. Miko cried out at the feeling of his teeth, too sensitive, and yanked at Noxx’s hair. “ _N-Noxx,”_ he moaned.

“Relax, Miko,” Noxx said. “Hold still.”

His hand curled around Miko’s cock as he spoke, stroking gently. Miko gave a cry and jerked his hips into Noxx’s fist, his back arching off the bed. He found himself hovering close very quickly, embarrassingly quickly; Noxx’s mouth found that delicious spot on his throat and nipped gently and Miko’s muscles were seizing, a delicious feeling of relief overcoming him. He spilled over Noxx’s fingers, thick and hot.

Miko shuddered and panted and then groaned when it was over, reaching up to press his hands over his face. “I’m sorry,” he huffed. “I couldn’t help it.”

Noxx hummed, sounding pleased, and raised his head. He brought his fingers to his mouth, holding Miko’s gaze as he licked in between them, and Miko’s whole body went hot. “Don’t be embarrassed,” Noxx said. “I like how sensitive you are.”

Miko dragged him down into a kiss. Now that the edge was off a little he could think again, and he could appreciate Noxx’s warm skin underneath his fingers, the solid muscle beneath that. “I missed you,” he whispered.

Noxx drew back. He dragged his fingers through Miko’s hair. “Did you look for someone else to touch you?” he asked. “Yesterday, when your heat started?”

Miko swallowed, shook his head.

“Good.” Noxx kissed him again. Miko could already feel himself going hot again, the haze taking over his brain again.

Impatient again, Miko pushed Noxx onto his back. Noxx seemed a little surprised but he let himself be manhandled, let Miko crawl on top of him and rock their hips together. He steadied Miko at his waist and Miko reached down to fumble with Noxx’s clothes, desperate for more contact. Noxx was hard, almost as hard as Miko; he tensed when Miko rocked them both together.

“Miko,” he rasped, and his fingers dug into Miko’s hips. Miko shuddered, panting, chasing the pleasure.

Noxx shifted, and his fingers found Miko’s entrance. Miko gasped, eyes flying open. He rocked down into Noxx’s fingers, and Noxx smiled. He slipped two inside without preamble, and Miko moaned in approval.

“You’re so wet,” Noxx murmured as he curled his fingers deeper, careful and slow. Miko’s impatient body throbbed in frustration. “And loose. Were you touching yourself down here while I was gone?”

Miko sobbed. He nodded and rocked back into Noxx’s hand, forward into his own fist. “Noxx,” he cried, “more, please, more.”

Noxx gave a low sound. He adjusted their positions, sitting up with his arm braced around Miko’s waist.

“You just can’t hold still when you’re like this, can you?” Noxx said, as he worked a third finger inside Miko’s body. Miko felt no discomfort with the stretch, like his body just opened for it. “Like you can’t help it. I had no idea what a mating cycle really does to you.”

His found that spot on Miko’s throat as he spoke, the sensitive place just below his jaw. Miko whimpered helplessly beneath the pleasure, his swollen cock dragging against Noxx’s as he rocked his hips forward again, again. He needed to _come_ , he needed it—

Noxx groaned against Miko’s throat. His arm flexed against Miko’s body and he pressed his fingers deeper, rubbing inside. He found the exact spot that made sparks of pleasure skate right up Miko’s spine, and that was exactly what Miko needed. He came again, crying out and shaking, rolling his hips down into Noxx’s.

Noxx hummed against Miko’s ear. His free hand found Miko’s cock, stroking him through the orgasm until Miko’s fingers were digging into Noxx’s arms.

“N-Noxx,” he stammered, jerking with the sensitivity.

Noxx withdrew his hand. He hooked his hand beneath Miko’s chin and kissed him, warm and soft. “Good?” he asked.

Miko nodded, kissed him again. “Noxx, I…I’m…” He swallowed. He didn’t want to ask again when Noxx had made his feelings clear, but Miko’s body was still throbbing and aching and he knew it wouldn’t be enough, no matter how many times he came into Noxx’s hand.

Noxx’s fingertips trailed along Miko’s back. He knew what Miko wanted to ask. “Miko…”

“I know, I know you said you can’t.” Miko leaned into Noxx’s chest, exhaled against his neck. “Noxx, I—you have no idea how much I want it.”

Noxx shuddered. His arm tightened around Miko’s waist. “You don’t understand what you’re asking me.”

“Don’t you…want to?”

Noxx exhaled unsteadily. His hands flexed on Miko’s hips. “Yes,” he said, his voice low, the words disappearing into Miko’s hair.

Miko rolled his hips down, hard again, feeling the length of Noxx’s arousal pressing against his own. “Noxx, please,” he rasped. “Please.”

Noxx groaned into Miko’s hair. He gripped tightly, and Miko thought for a moment he’d be pushed away. Instead, Noxx shifted, keeping Miko’s body cradled against his own. He rolled Miko onto his back and Miko blinked in surprise up into Noxx’s face, breathless and hopeful. Noxx’s gaze had gone fiery and sharp with intent, and a shiver of anticipation raced up Miko’s spine.

Noxx kissed him. He wasn’t so gentle anymore, his kisses deep and full of tongue and teeth, and Miko moaned eagerly into it. He reached out to find any bit of skin he could reach, nails digging into Noxx’s shoulders, but Noxx stopped him. He caught Miko’s wrists and pinned both hands above Miko’s head with ease, breaking the kiss to draw back again.

Miko shivered. Noxx held both of Miko’s hands over his head with only one of his own, and the strength in his grip made Miko tremble in a surprised wave of arousal.

Noxx nudged apart Miko’s thighs. The head of his cock, wet, solid, rubbed at Miko’s entrance. Miko mewled, trying to rock down into the pressure, but Noxx tightened his grip, holding Miko still. “This is what you want?” Noxx said, his voice low and rough, like sandpaper. “You want me inside you?”

Miko nodded frantically. He arched his back, trying again to bear down, squirming against Noxx’s grip.

“Miko.” Noxx pushed forward, just the tip of his cock breaching Miko’s entrance. Miko huffed a moan, pressing his legs wider, the arousal burning through any lingering shame. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want _you_ ,” Miko cried, tears of frustration budding in his eyes. “Your cock, Noxx, I want it in me, please, _please_ —”

Noxx gave a low sound, almost a growl. He rocked his hips forward, pressing himself inside Miko’s body.

Miko opened up easily to him, in spite of his considerable girth, like his body was made for this. There was no pain, only delicious pressure that finally, _finally_ satisfied that desperate ache inside him. The pressure settled against the spot that made Miko crazy and he gasped sharply in surprise, going dizzy with pleasure as his muscles all tightened.

“N-Noxx—” Miko caught his breath and he came for a third time, squeezing around Noxx’s length, throbbing pleasure rocking through him. He felt like he was drowning.

Noxx groaned. He circled his hips a little, eyes slipping closed at the feeling of Miko tightening around him. “Gods,” he huffed. “Oh, Miko, you have no idea how amazing you feel.”

“More,” Miko whispered, and Noxx groaned again as he began to move.

Noxx fucked him with a rhythm and patience that was beyond anything Miko could have imagined, just at the edge of too rough, all the contact and heat and pressure Miko had needed so badly. Miko came again completely out of nowhere, and jerked helplessly against Noxx’s grip as it took him, the sensation too much, too intense, overwhelming. His skin was hot and tingling from the feeling of being filled, and he didn’t even know what to do with himself.

Noxx kept moving afterwards, even as Miko was growing too sensitive. His eyes blazed above Miko’s face, a familiar golden light entering them, like this connection was activating the Shayta side of him. The sight made Miko shiver in surprise.

“N-Noxx,” he sobbed, squirming with sensitivity.

Noxx gripped both Miko’s wrists, pinned them beside Miko’s head this time, holding his gaze. He felt even deeper than before, his thrusts shallow and rhythmic. “I want you to come one more time,” Noxx said, his voice unlike anything Miko had ever heard before. “I know you can.”

Miko wailed and thrashed against Noxx’s grip at the thought of another orgasm. He couldn’t, he couldn’t, _surely_ there was no way—

“Once more, Miko.” Noxx rubbed his thumbs against Miko’s palms, a surprisingly soft gesture that contrasted with the rough, steady rock of his hips. “Just let it happen.”

Miko sobbed. His body was exhausted but he could feel the arousal winding tight again, as though in direct response to Noxx’s words. He clung helplessly to the sheets and whimpered when Noxx’s fingers slid into his hair, gripping. “Noxx,” he cried.

Noxx shuddered. His rhythm stuttered and he dug his nails into Miko’s hip, and Miko’s eyes flew wide when he realized Noxx was coming inside him.

That was enough to catapult him into his own orgasm. After so many, the pleasure was almost at the point of pain; Miko rode it out with his face buried in Noxx’s neck to muffle his yells, his body shaking and twisting with it.

Noxx drew back, slow and careful, and Miko whimpered with the slick pull. He couldn’t find the strength yet to move. He felt like he’d run twelve miles.

The mattress creaked. Noxx rested beside him on the bed, gazing at him. His expression was soft again, warm. His fingers stroked through Miko’s hair. “Did I hurt you?” Noxx asked.

Miko shook his head, a little dazed. “Oh, Noxx,” he breathed. He caught Noxx’s hand, twisting together their fingers. “It was perfect. So perfect. Thank you.” He let his eyes slip closed. “Did you feel good too?”

“Mm,” Noxx murmured. He moved closer, and let Miko snuggle against his chest. “You have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading <3  
> Come chat with me at walktheoceanfloor.tumblr.com!


	11. Chapter 11

“Who did you have train you while I was gone?” Noxx asked.

Miko glanced over as he grabbed another arrow, notching it in his bow. He and Noxx were practicing out in the palace’s central courtyard in the evening. Noxx was standing back to see how Miko had improved over the past several days, leaning against one of the pillars with his arms folded.

“Theram,” Miko said. “And Anders.”

“Anders?” Noxx said, raising his eyebrows. “He barely passed when we tested him in.”

“Yes, but he was a very good shot with a bow. That’s what saved him in the first place, wasn’t it?”

“I suppose.” Noxx watched as Miko let the arrow fly. It buried itself in the outer edge of the target, but Miko had still hit it, at least. “Your stance isn’t quite right.”

“It’s not?”

“No.” Noxx approached him. “Draw an arrow.”

Miko notched the arrow and aimed it at the target. Noxx stepped up behind him and lowered his elbow, putting it more parallel to the ground. “Loosen your grip,” Noxx said. “You’re holding the bow too tightly.”

Miko relaxed his hand, and then his shoulders too when Noxx pressed gently at them. “My arm is starting to hurt.”

“Be patient.” Noxx gave him another once over. “All right. Exhale, and let the arrow go.”

Miko opened his hand, releasing the arrow. It hit a little closer to center this time. He smiled.

“Better.” Noxx’s hands found his waist and his mouth pressed against Miko’s throat, teasing that place that made his legs shake.

Miko’s eyes fluttered and he tried weakly to elbow Noxx backward. “Noxx,” he complained.

Noxx gave a low chuckle. He released Miko’s waist and stepped back. “Let’s get back to the spears. I want to see you spar.”

Fighting with a spear still made Miko’s limbs feel heavy and uncoordinated. It didn’t come to him naturally, and he couldn’t hope to match Noxx’s speed or dexterity. Noxx compensated, fortunately; he let Miko get his bearings and didn’t attack with any kind of real ferocity.

“Noxx,” Miko said, slumping, “I’m no good at this. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You’re doing fine,” Noxx said. “You can’t beat yourself up, Miko, or you’ll never make it anywhere.”

“I’m never going to make it anywhere anyway.”

“You just need to remember your motivation. You’re doing this to feel stronger, and more in control of yourself.” Noxx smirked. “Do you need a better motivation? Just picture someone you hate, and think of them while you attack me.”

“I don’t hate anyone.”

“No?” Noxx quirked an eyebrow. “Not even Ruto?”

Miko hesitated. He didn’t really recognize the feelings towards Ruto as hate—anger, yes, and a desire to never go anywhere near him again. But hatred was ugly and dark and Miko had never, ever hated anyone before. He didn’t like the idea of that.

“I don’t want to fight Ruto,” Miko said. “I just want to forget about him.”

Noxx considered him. “You’re so different from any Shaytan,” he said.

“Whatever,” Miko said, his face warm. “Just fight me again, come on.”

“Miko—”

Miko lunged toward him, holding his spear aloft. Noxx dodged with ease and instead of fighting back he caught Miko’s spear around the middle. He disarmed Miko in one second and then had him pinned to the ground in the next, leaving him breathless and shaken.

“Miko, if you just rush in like that you’re going to hurt yourself,” Noxx said. “Calm down.”

Miko glared at him. “Let me up.”

“I’m sorry,” Noxx said. “I shouldn’t have brought up Ruto. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He rested his hand against Miko’s hair. “I know you just want to put it behind you, but you can be angry with him, Miko. He hurt you.”

“I don’t like feeling angry.” Miko turned his face away. “Noxx, what if you hadn’t come to get me out? I could have been there forever. I would have just died there. I don’t like the thought of that.”

“But I did come to get you out,” Noxx said. “And I would do it again.”

Miko sighed. He still kept his gaze fixed away from Noxx’s.

“You don’t have to know how to use a weapon to be strong, Miko. You were strong just for surviving, after all Ruto put you through. You were strong for recovering afterwards. There isn’t just one kind of strength.”

Miko looked back over at him. He fought back a smile. “Since when are you so philosophical?”

“It’s your fault. You ruined everything.”

Miko’s smile broke and he pushed himself up, tugging Noxx down by the neck of his tunic. Noxx kissed him back, fingers curling into his hair at the back of his neck. They kissed for a long time on the floor of the empty courtyard, slow and unhurried. The ground was hard against Miko’s back, but he found it didn’t bother him.

Noxx sighed and drew back. “We have to get to dinner,” he said. “We have guests.”

Miko swallowed. His heat hadn’t quite reappeared yet but he knew it wasn’t over, and he could feel it sitting dormant deep in his body. He wasn’t sure how long it would be until it overtook him. “Do we have to?”

Noxx smiled at him. “You can have me all to yourself afterwards,” he said, his voice dipping low. “All night if you like. I promise.”

That comforted Miko a little. He swallowed hard and let Noxx heave him to his feet.

He couldn’t focus on anything during dinner, bouncing his knee restlessly beneath the table while Noxx and Adra exchanged pleasantries and made small talk with their guests. Miko couldn’t even remember which clan their guests were from. He picked at his food, his appetite disappearing beneath the growing ache in his gut, and desperately tried to ignore the warmth of Noxx’s body beside him.

He jumped when Noxx brushed his arm. Noxx glanced over at him, his gaze concerned, and Miko shook his head a little, pressing his hands into his lap.

Noxx rested a hand on his thigh, and Miko tensed. “Go upstairs,” Noxx murmured, leaning over to speak the words in Miko’s ear. The feeling of his breath on Miko’s skin was unbearable. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Miko squeezed his eyes shut, fighting to get ahold of himself. He stood from the table unsteadily and gave a brief bow to their guests, and then left the dining hall as quickly as he could without causing worry.

His heat was already in full swing before he made it to his bedroom. He curled up in bed, wrapping his arms around himself, and stayed there, face pressed into the pillows as his skin turned hypersensitive and his mind grew muddled with hot, feverish need. It felt like ages before the door swung open again.

Miko pushed himself up, looking over. Noxx stepped into the room, closing the door behind himself. “Sorry, Miko,” he said. “I kept getting held back. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

Miko didn’t answer, just slid to the edge of the bed and reached for him, searching for any bit of warmth he could find. Noxx kissed him and Miko moaned in relief, snaking his hands underneath Noxx’s clothing.

Noxx brought him to orgasm once with his tongue, kneeling at the foot of the bed with his head in between Miko’s thighs and two fingers deep inside his body. Only when Miko sobbed and begged and yanked at his hair did Noxx straighten and give him what he really wanted, drawing himself out of his clothes and pressing back Miko’s knees.

Miko was still trapped in a haze of pleasure and lust and desire, but he fought to focus his eyes and see every shift of Noxx’s expression. There was something beautiful about his intensity, the way his jaw tightened and his muscles flexed as he visibly fought to hold back, the way he looked at Miko with something like hunger. Miko had no idea how he hadn’t noticed that kind of beauty before. It was like he’d been blind.

“Harder,” Miko gasped, reaching out to clutch at Noxx’s hips. Noxx gave a low sound and gave Miko what he wanted, seizing hold of Miko’s wrists and gripping hard as he moved. It hurt, just a little, but the pain just made it better, more intense. Miko came so hard he saw stars.

“Why didn’t you want to do this with me at first?” Miko asked afterwards.

Noxx glanced over. He was lying on his back at Miko’s side, the silk sheets draped over both of them. Miko rested his arms on top of the pillows and leaned his cheek into his elbow, holding Noxx’s gaze.

“Do what?” Noxx said.

Miko blushed. “You know,” he said. “You didn’t want to...be intimate with me. Like that.”

Noxx turned his gaze towards the ceiling, and was quiet for a few moments. “It’s ridiculous, really,” he said. “Shayta mating rituals are different than Neri rituals. We can get very intense. Our partner’s energy feeds into our own, and if you're not used to the feeling…I just didn't want to hurt you accidentally. I didn’t want to frighten you.”

Miko blinked at him. “I knew what I was getting into,” he said. “I know what Shayta are like.”

“Yes, but this marriage—Miko, it wasn’t your choice. You didn’t feel like you had another option. I didn’t want to...take advantage of that, I suppose.”

“That is kind of silly,” Miko teased. His face felt warm. “Besides, I…maybe I want you to show me more of yourself. I want to know more about your true nature and what your mating rituals are like.” He lowered his eyes. “And I…I wouldn’t mind if you got a little more rough with me.”

Noxx exhaled. His eyes were closed, and his jaw was tight. “Gods,” he muttered. “Miko, what am I going to do with you?”

Miko grinned. He moved closer, stretching up until their lips met.

* * *

Miko’s mating cycle lasted another couple of days, and then finally eased.

Noxx took care of him thoroughly for the remaining days, with patience and focus and attention. Miko didn’t even have to ask anymore; Noxx came to his room every evening just as Miko’s symptoms were coming back, and wordlessly pulled Miko towards him.

He was so gentle, at first—Miko couldn’t get over how gentle. It belied everything Miko would have expected from a Shaytan, especially one like Noxx who was all muscles and broad shoulders and sharp, solid lines. But Noxx touched him like he was being so careful, waiting until Miko was panting and squirming with impatience to go any further.

When Miko was comfortable and desperate and turned on, however, Noxx was more rough. He still showed the same patience, and all his focus was on Miko’s pleasure, but he didn’t try as hard to restrain himself like before. It left Miko feeling sore and satisfied and trembling with leftover pleasure, every time.

“You never told me,” Miko said, the morning after his heat eased, as he watched Noxx dress. “What are Shayta mating rituals like? Are they very different?”

Noxx considered for a moment. “I suppose not,” he said. “I was mostly thinking about consummation rituals, after a joining ceremony.”

“So…what usually happens?”

Noxx slipped his tunic into place and turned back, a smile tugging at his mouth. “Perhaps I’ll show you,” he said. “I have to attend a meeting with a clan leader, but I’ll be back in a couple days.”

Miko felt a little disappointed, but he nodded. “All right,” he said. “Be careful.”

“I will.” Noxx came over to him, settled at the edge of the bed. “Will you be all right while I’m gone?”

Miko nodded. “The heat has calmed down,” he said. “It should be a few weeks before it starts up again.”

Even with his heat gone, Miko still found himself growing restless as he waited for Noxx to return to Klodin. It was like something had unlocked inside his body and it was driving him crazy. He’d never _wanted_ someone like this before. Every night he found himself wishing that Noxx was in bed with him, touching him and kissing him.

He hadn’t realized how lonely he was until now. It was different kind of ache.

Noxx was gone longer than expected. He’d traveled near Rathim, and Miko was suddenly frightened that the Luvon Clan was still active, that they’d ambushed Noxx and his guards. There were plenty of rumors that still swirled about the Luvon clan, and Miko never had any idea which ones were true. Miko’s restlessness turned to fear, and he barely slept that night, waking up every hour to memories of cold hands around his neck, hard metal slamming into his ribs. The nightmares hadn’t been so bad in a while.

Noxx returned the next day, unharmed. Miko found him in the hallway, eyes shadowed but otherwise healthy as ever, and raced to meet him. Noxx caught him in his arms and found Mik’s mouth with his own.

Noxx pressed him up against the wall, kissing him again, and again. “Are you hurt?” Miko panted between kisses, slipping his hands under Noxx’s clothes to find skin. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Noxx said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Miko’s throat tightened. He curled his arms around Noxx’s neck and stretched up towards him again. Noxx reached down helpfully, lifting Miko into his arms, and carried him down the hall towards his bedroom.

Miko tugged impatiently at Noxx’s clothes once they were alone and pushed him to the edge of the mattress, kneeling on the floor. “Miko,” Noxx said, his fingers slipping into Miko’s hair. His voice was tight, and he groaned softly when Miko took him into his mouth. “Hang on. I promised to show you something when I came back, right?”

Miko hummed, but kept his mouth where it was. Noxx groaned again, tugged a little at Miko’s hair.

“Miko,” he huffed, laughing a little, “if you keep doing that I’ll be finished long before we can do anything.”

Miko drew back reluctantly, sitting back on his heels. Noxx beckoned, and Miko stood, allowing Noxx to pull him closer until Miko was standing in between his legs. Noxx stroked his fingers along Miko’s skin, his belly and his chest and his hips, until Miko was trembling.

“Shayta have a few rituals during consummation,” Noxx said, his voice quiet. He kept his gaze fixed on Miko’s, fingertips trailing up and down his ribs. “We use oils to stimulate the body and encourage arousal, first. I brought some with me. I think you’ll enjoy them.”

Miko shivered. He rested his hands on Noxx’s shoulders. “What else?” he whispered.

“Some Shayta mark each other. With a blade, or with a tattoo.” Noxx smiled. “I think we can skip that for tonight.”

“You don’t want to mark me?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Noxx rested his hand against Miko’s hip, thumb stroking back and forth. “There’s one other thing.”

“What is it?”

“Shayta are able to connect, mentally, with their partner during intercourse,” Noxx said. “I’m not sure whether it will work with you because you’re a Neri. But perhaps it’s worth trying.”

“Connect mentally,” Miko said, curious. “What does that mean?”

“I suppose you’ll see, if it works.” Noxx stood, bringing his mouth to Miko’s. “Lie down.”

Miko stretched out on the mattress, naked, and watched as Noxx retrieved something from his wardrobe. He brought it over to the bed, setting it down on the bedside table. Miko sat up and craned his neck, trying to see.

Noxx shrugged out of his tunic. He picked a bottle up from the table and knelt on the bed between Miko’s legs, popping it open. The smell of flowers filled Miko’s nostrils. He inhaled and gasped as his senses tingled pleasantly in response. Noxx smiled.

“Mirio Moonflowers,” he explained. “You can only find them in Southern Crethia, and they only bloom twice a year.” He tilted the bottle so a little of the oil dripped directly onto Miko’s stomach. Miko squirmed, but the feeling was pleasant. It was oddly warm, and it was deliciously slick when Noxx dragged his fingers through it, spreading it along Miko’s skin.

“Breathe deeply,” Noxx murmured. “These flowers are meant to relax you and intensify your sensitivity.”

His hands dragged along Miko’s thighs, squeezing gently, and then reached for the oil again, pouring a little into his palm. Miko watched, wide-eyed, as Noxx’s hands reached between his legs.

“N-Noxx—” Miko gasped, jerked his hips, when Noxx’s fingers curled around him. The oil even seemed to make his skin tingle, a delicious feeling that made his toes curl. He watched Noxx’s hand work over the sensitive skin and his whole body shook in pleasure.

“Noxx,” he said again, panting now, dazed. Noxx glanced up at him and his eyes glinted. He reached down with his free hand, slipping one finger, two, into Miko’s body.

He brought Miko to the edge of orgasm with just his hands, lavishing his body with attention. And then he stopped, just as Miko was crying out, his body winding tight. Noxx withdrew his hands and Miko huffed in frustration, pushing up on his elbows. “N-Noxx, don’t stop,” he protested.

“Just relax, Miko.” Noxx poured a little more oil onto his fingers. “If you want to make a mental connection, it’s important that you are only focusing on the pleasure and the contact.”

“But—” Miko broke off and whimpered when Noxx’s hands reached between his legs again.

The Moonflower oil was like magic, and the scent of it seemed to fill the room, making the air warm and thick. Every stroke of Noxx’s hand against Miko’s sensitive skin was like a shock of pleasure straight through his body. It was unbearable. Miko couldn’t think.

“Noxx,” Miko huffed, when he couldn’t take any more teasing, “please, I want it inside, _please_.”

Noxx’s gaze was dark. He withdrew his hands and adjusted them both, pressing himself to Miko’s entrance. “Breathe,” he said, his voice ragged now. “Stay relaxed.”

Miko didn’t need to be encouraged. His whole body was so aroused and desperate that there was no way Noxx could have hurt him. He moaned, low and sharp, when Noxx pressed inside him and reached out blindly, but Noxx caught his wrists, pinning them to the mattress the way he had several times before. Miko blinked a few times, meeting Noxx’s gaze, and shivered at the heat he saw there.

Noxx’s Shayta magic was already humming beneath the surface of his gaze. It was almost like Miko could feel it, thrumming from Noxx’s body and into his own, and it only amplified his own pleasure, until it was so intense he couldn’t bear it anymore.

“Noxx,” he cried, and Noxx’s hands tightened on his wrists.

“Feel it, Miko.” Noxx’s voice seemed to resonate in Miko’s whole body. “You’re mine. Let me in.”

When Miko surrendered to it, it was like his mind flooded with sensation and emotion, emotion that wasn’t entirely his but _was_ his at the same time, somehow: pleasure and warmth and hunger and adoration. Miko could feel so much all at once and still he wanted to feel even more, wanted everything, all of it.

He came completely by surprise, and wailed as it shook through him. “ _Miko_ ,” Noxx shuddered, and he wasn’t far behind.

They came down together, panting, shaking with the intensity. Noxx rested his forehead against Miko’s and Miko sighed, dragged his hands down Noxx’s chest. “ _Oh_ ,” Miko breathed, “wow.”

“Mhmm,” Noxx agreed. He drew back, settling at Miko’s side.

Miko rolled onto his stomach once he’d caught his breath. “So, that was what you meant by a mental connection?” he said.

Noxx nodded. “It wasn’t as intense as it could have been, possibly, since it was the first time attempting it,” he said. “We can try again another time, if you like.”

“It already felt pretty intense,” Miko said. He exhaled, closed his eyes. “I liked it.”

Noxx’s fingers pulled through his hair. “Good,” he said. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chill honeymoon phase because the plot is raring to go next chapter. See you then!
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr! crystalflowers.tumblr.com :)


	12. Chapter 12

It was close to the end of the season when Miko received a letter from one of his siblings. It was very bad news.

Miko’s mother had grown ill over the past several days, and now she was bedridden with fever. Miko’s siblings were worried that she wouldn’t recover, and they asked if Miko could come to Northern Crethia and be with them. Miko cried as he read the letter. He felt so guilty for not visiting his family all these months. His chest felt like it was collapsing.

“You have to go, Miko,” Noxx said. He sat with Miko on his bed, the letter in his hand. It was a warm night, but Miko couldn’t stop trembling. “It’s your mother.”

“You’re taking over for your father in less than a week, Noxx,” Miko said. “I can’t abandon you right before that. What will your people think?”

“This is more important.” Noxx set aside the paper and reached for Miko’s hands, taking both of them. “I can arrange for an escort at the end of the week.”

Miko gave a choked half-sob. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Noxx’s shoulder. Noxx held him there, stroking his hair.

Miko packed that night and then reluctantly headed downstairs to join the others for supper. He couldn’t eat much, just picked at his food and tuned out the conversation. He’d spent the past few weeks feeling lighter than ever before, enjoying his new, warmer relationship with Noxx and a newfound feeling of belonging within Southern Crethia. Now, body felt so heavy, a rock settling inside his chest. It was the feeling of helplessness he’d experienced while trapped in Ruto’s palace.

He jerked his head up when someone said his name. He looked around, but nobody was looking at him. Instead, Eero Kozu was frowning across the table at Noxx, eyebrows drawn together and lips pursed in an expression of disappointment.

“It will only be for a few days,” Noxx was saying. His shoulders had tensed. “I know it’s not ideal, but it’s important.”

“You should know better, Noxx,” Kozu said. “This is the most important night of your life. The entire clan will be watching, and you can’t give them any reasons to doubt you as a leader. You must rule with a strong arm, and allowing your husband to abandon you at such an important transition will just paint you as weak-willed.”

“This has nothing to do with me or my _willpower_ ,” Noxx snapped. “I won’t exercise control over Miko by forcing him to abandon his family. He’s my husband, he’s not my prisoner.”

Kozu slammed his hands on the table, pushing himself to his feet, and Miko jumped, his spoon slipping out of his hand and clattering to the floor.

“This union was meant to strengthen our ties to Northern Crethia, Noxx,” Kozu said. His voice could carry when he wanted it to, and it seemed to fill the room. Even the servants at the edge of the room seemed to recoil, backing away and pressing themselves against the walls. “I wouldn’t have encouraged it if I thought you would end up coddling your husband. This is a political arrangement. Start acting like it.”

Noxx shoved himself to his feet as well. His eyes flashed gold. Miko hadn’t seen him so angry, not since he’d faced Ruto. “Miko isn’t a tool to further my control over the Umbra Clan,” Noxx said. “And his family is important to him. My decision is final.”

Kuzo’s eyes narrowed. He smiled, but it was a taunting, condescending smile, and it made Miko’s skin crawl. “I see,” he said. “You’ve fallen in love with this boy, haven’t you?”

Noxx’s jaw clenched. “It’s unimportant,” he said, which wasn’t a _no_ , and it made Miko’s stomach swoop. “He’s my _husband_.”

“You’re letting your feelings get in the way of your better judgement, son,” Kuzo said. “I’d assumed you learned your lesson with Kai, but I suppose his death didn’t have as much of an impact as I’d hoped.”

Noxx bristled at the name _Kai_. Miko had never learned the name of Noxx’s ex-lover, but he assumed that’s who Kuzo was referring to.

“What does that mean?” Noxx said, and his voice had darkened. His hands clenched at the edge of the table. “What are you talking about?”

Kozu sighed. “Son,” he said. “That boy Kai was a distraction from your true purpose. You needed to refocus on your clan and your people, and I couldn’t have you lingering in your sappy feelings of love. I needed you hardened. I needed you able to make the difficult decisions necessary for a leader.”

Noxx’s teeth were clenched. His hands shook and he gripped even more tightly at the table.

“And,” Kozu continued, “I knew you would never let go of that boy and agree to marry someone else. So, there was really no other choice.”

The realization hit Miko at the same time it seemed to hit Noxx. Noxx’s eyes grew wide and he stared across the table at his father, body shaking, face going pale. “You,” Noxx hissed. “You…killed…”

“I gave the order,” Kozu said. “I thought you already knew that. I thought you eventually began to see that it was necessary.”

There was a moment of silence, so silent that Miko could have heard a feather hit the floor. He wanted to say something, something to comfort Noxx, who had never looked so shaken. But before he could speak, there was a harsh light emanating from Noxx’s body. Miko blinked and recoiled, and the next moment Noxx had Kozu pinned against the wall, as though he’d teleported to the other side of the room.

Noxx was shaking with fury. Energy radiated off him in waves, his Shayta powers sparking off of him and filling the room. Kozu hadn’t moved; he gazed back at his son, expressionless, as though unconcerned.

“You bastard,” Noxx spat. “Kai was innocent. He had a whole future ahead of him—he was going to become an Umbra guard. And you _murdered_ him, to teach me a _lesson_?”

There was another flash of light. When it vanished, Noxx was collapsed on the floor and Kozu was straightening off the wall, adjusting his clothing. “I won’t hear your complaints,” Kozu said. “These are the difficult decisions you must make as Eero. If you are not up to that challenge, perhaps we should put off your elevation to clan leader.”

Noxx pushed himself up, breathing heavily. He didn’t respond.

Kozu turned and swept out of the room. Miko rose unsteadily, but before he could make his way across the dining hall Noxx was already on his feet, heading in the opposite direction and disappearing into the hallway.

Adra’s eyes were filled with tears. She looked over at Miko and their gazes held for a long moment. “I…” Adra shook her head. “I didn’t know…poor Noxx…”

Miko swallowed. He followed Noxx out into the hallway, squeezing Adra’s arm on the way out of the dining hall.

* * *

Noxx was alone in his room when Miko arrived. He was sitting at the edge of his bed, elbows braced on his knees and hands covering his face. Miko shut the door softly behind him and paused, unsure what to do. He didn’t want to make everything worse, but it hurt him to see Noxx this way.

Miko approached the bed. He sat beside Noxx and leaned over, resting his cheek against Noxx’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Noxx took a breath. He lowered his hands, letting them settle in his lap. He wasn’t crying, like Miko had been expecting, but he still looked very shaken. “I feel like a fool,” Noxx muttered. “I should have known.”

Miko shook his head. “How could you have?” he said. “He’s your father. You trusted him.”

“But I knew better,” Noxx said. “My father has always been calculating and vindictive. He’ll do anything if he thinks it will secure his control over another clan, over another piece of land, or over the Umbra Clan itself.” He rubbed his forehead with his fingers. “I never want to be that kind of leader. But I’m afraid I might just follow in his footsteps. Perhaps it’s in my blood.”

“I know that can’t be true,” Miko said. “Do you think you’d be feeling this way if you were like your father?” He squeezed Noxx’s arm. “Do you think you would have gone against your father’s command and rescued me from Ruto if you were anything like him? I’m alive because of you.”

Noxx finally turned to look at him. His gaze was pained. He reached over, and his palm pressed, warm and gentle, against Miko’s cheek. “When you disappeared,” he said, “I thought I’d let another person I cared about be taken from me because I let myself grow complacent. I thought I’d find you dead, days later, like I did with Kai. I never would have been able to forgive myself for that.”

“But you didn’t,” Miko said. “And even if I had died there, it wouldn’t have been your fault. It wasn’t your fault that Kai was taken from you, either. All you did was love him.”

Noxx closed his eyes briefly, his jaw working. He shifted, withdrawing his arm from Miko’s grip, and Miko thought he’d said something wrong. But Noxx just turned so they were facing each other and reached for Miko’s face with both hands, leaning in to kiss him.

Miko sighed and kissed him back, leaning into Noxx’s chest. Noxx’s fingers slipped into his hair and he kissed Miko again and again, long and slow and warm. When he drew back, his expression had softened. “You need to go home,” Noxx murmured.

Miko shook his head. “It can wait,” he said.

“No.” Noxx rubbed his thumb along Miko’s jaw. “I want you to go, Miko. It’s your family, and I won’t keep you away from that. I couldn’t bear that.”

“But…” Miko’s face fell. “How can I just leave you while you’re hurting like this, Noxx?”

“I’ll be fine,” Noxx said. “I promise.” He sighed, and his jaw clenched again. “Besides, I’d prefer to have you far from my father right now. I’ll send you with my most trusted guards.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Noxx brushed back Miko’s hair. “Stay as long as you need. Be with your mother.”

Miko’s throat tightened. He reached up to wrap his arms around Noxx’s neck and kissed him again, more eagerly, more desperately. Noxx responded to his enthusiasm, rolling him onto his back on the mattress and settling between his legs.

They’d tried to mentally connect several more times since the first, and it had grown much easier, like it was a natural extension of their bodies. Miko could feel so much more than usual tonight while they were connected: Noxx’s guilt, sharp and bitter, his fierce yearning and his desperate need, his relief that Miko still wanted him. It fed into Miko’s pleasure and his own overflowing emotions, looping back until he wasn’t sure who’s feelings were who’s.

Noxx kissed him afterwards, his mouth and his throat and his chest, while Miko shivered and struggled to catch his breath. But Noxx wasn’t done with him; he settled instead between Miko’s thighs and coaxed him back to arousal with his tongue, until Miko was crying out and clawing at the sheets.

Noxx pulled Miko into his lap and they joined their bodies again, again, until they were both too tired to continue. Miko fell into a deep sleep on Noxx’s shoulder, warm and satisfied in body but restless in mind.

* * *

Miko left the following morning for Northern Crethia.

Noxx saw him off. He seemed to have gotten little sleep the night before, his eyes shadowed, but he smiled when he said goodbye and pulled Miko into a slow kiss. Miko licked his lips as they rode away, memorizing the taste of Noxx’s mouth. He wished he could have asked Noxx to come with him.

Miko hadn’t returned to Northern Crethia since getting married. It was bittersweet, finally getting the chance to see his hometown under such difficult circumstances. The carriage ride was longer than he remembered it being the first time and he was unbearably restless for the entire journey, bouncing in his seat and picking at dry skin on his hands until they were beginning to bleed.

It was dark by the time they pulled up at the edge of his village. It was just as he remembered, clusters of small wooden homes glowing with warm firelight, a huge lake stretching out behind them towards the mountains, a dusting of frost clinging to the grass. Miko climbed out of the carriage with the help of Theram, one of the Umbra guards, and shivered in the cold. He pulled on the fur coat he’d taken along with him. It felt odd to cover so much skin after wearing Southern Crethia clothes for so many weeks, and the fabric was heavy and bulky.

The village was quiet, peaceful. Miko’s feet crunched through the frosted grass and dirt as he headed for his house, his breath fogging gently in front of him. He waved at the guards to stay stationed outside and then took a breath, pushed open the front door to his house.

Immediately, the smell of garlic and butter and rosemary filled his nostrils, and his mouth watered. Tears of nostalgia pricked his eyes for his mother’s cooking. He hadn’t tasted it in so, so long, and he missed it to the point of pain.

He stepped inside, toeing off his shoes. “Hello?” he called, rounding the corner to the living area. He could smell a fire brewing, as well as the scent of a handful of other bodies. He turned the corner and found himself faced by nine pairs of incredulous gazes, staring at him like they couldn’t believe their eyes. Miko’s siblings were all piled in a heap around the fire, reading or knitting or talking quietly. All voices ceased, however, when they caught sight of Miko.

Someone shrieked. The youngest of Miko’s siblings, Elsie, leapt to her feet and threw herself towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Miko laughed as he was nearly bowled off his feet and caught his sister, returning the embrace.

They all got up at once, then, piling on top of Miko and talking over one another. Miko couldn’t make out what they were saying, just hugged all of them at once while his face split itself in two with a smile.

“Where’s mama?” he asked when he finally managed to get a word in. “How is she doing? Is she all right?”

A few of his siblings exchanged glances, looking puzzled, but none of them answered. Mko’s stomach dropped as he assumed the worst.

“What happened?” he demanded, panicked now. “What’s wrong? Is she—”

“Miko?”

The voice of his mother took Miko by surprise. He looked over his siblings’ heads at the entrance to the kitchen. His mother stood in the doorway, perfectly upright and steady, drying her hands on a towel. Her eyes filled when she caught sight of Miko. “Oh,” she gasped, breaking out in a smile. “Miko, that is you!”

Miko raced past his siblings, gripping her in a relieved hug. “Mama,” he whispered. “I was so worried.”

His mother laughed lightly. “You were worried about us?” she said, patting his head. She drew back and reached up to stroke his cheek. “Sweetie, I’m so glad you’re home, but you didn’t need to rush all the way over here. We’re all doing fine.”

“But…” Miko frowned, confused. “But Aimee sent me a letter. She said you’ve been sick for days. How did you recover so quickly?”

Miko’s mother stared blankly for several moments. “Miko, darling, I’m sorry,” she said, “but I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t been sick.”

“I didn’t write you a letter,” Aimee piped up. “At least, not for a while. And not about mama.”

Miko’s body went cold. “But,” he said, “if you didn’t write that letter, who did?”

Except he already knew the answer. A moment after the question had passed his lips, a horn blew outside, signaling an approaching enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3  
> Come chat with me on Tumblr, crystalflowers.tumblr.com


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